The Hardest Fall(4)

She shut her eyes and shook her head. I just stood there, watching her, listening to her, waiting for her to finish her story. I couldn’t really have moved even if I wanted to; she was…it was all too…captivating—that’s the word I was looking for. She was all over the place and yet she was captivating as hell, a fresh breath of air, for some reason.

“Then they bet—kind of dared me that I couldn’t kiss a random guy. I said sure I could just so they’d stop talking about me, because what are they gonna do? Expect me to follow through on that? Are we in kindergarten? Pffttt. And, okay, fine, I was a little offended, but they were kind of right. I’m not adventurous or spontaneous. Not into kissing random guys, either. I’ve never done it, but I figured it’s easy enough. Anyway, they said I wouldn’t have the balls to kiss the guy they wanted me to kiss, because apparently that’s also a thing in college—daring, betting, kissing random people…”

“Wow,” I said before she could go on, and she lifted her eyes to me. It was my lame attempt to make sure she took a breath before she passed out. “There seem to be a lot of things about college I didn’t know about, and I’m not even a freshman anymore. I’ve never kissed a random girl before either—didn’t even know it was a requirement.” I actually had, but she didn’t need to know that. I got kissed by random girls sometimes, especially after a good game when everyone’s adrenaline was running high, but I never had the urge to go kiss a random girl just because. Maybe I just hadn’t seen the right random girl because at that moment I could see the appeal.

“See!” she exclaimed, her body relaxing a bit more. “That’s what I said. Anyway, we’re coming to the painful part, so I’ll just push forward. My roommate, Lindsay, grabbed this poor guy who was walking past with his buddies and told me to kiss him, so I did, just a quick peck—that’s nothing, right? I didn’t even touch the guy, just leaned up and pressed my lips against his. It was pretty anticlimactic, actually, and since I’ve had a little bit of beer…” She lifted three fingers, presumably indicating the number of beers she’d had, then tucked her hair behind her right ear. I studied her lips—all this talk about kissing, and she had those beautiful shiny pink lips… “I didn’t even feel a thing,” she continued. “No butterflies. No nothing. The guy didn’t look all that upset about it since he tried for a second, longer kiss.”

I bet he didn’t, I thought. I bet the lucky bastard wasn’t upset about it at all.

She started talking even faster, making it almost impossible to follow her thoughts.

“But then Lindsay’s friend, Molly, randomly pointed at you. You were talking to some guys across the room, and she dared me to kiss you. What’s so special about you, I have no idea.” I opened my mouth, but she held up her hand and continued without a pause. “So, I had to say I could because I’m not good with dares and bets. I get a tad bit competitive. Since I got away with just a peck with the last guy, they dared me to go full out with you. Again, I don’t know if you’re some kind of hotshot or something, but I guess there is something about you that makes you special enough for them to insist that much. Maybe you’re their type, I don’t have a freaking clue. I asked them to give me a few minutes and followed you here so I could ask your permission before I attacked you in front of everyone or at least attempted to attack you in front of everyone to basically suck your face. Now, after what I’ve seen…just to make sure…you’re not gay, are you? Because if that’s why they insisted so much…that’s cruel.”

When she kept looking at me expectantly, I straightened up and rubbed the back of my neck.

“This is probably gonna sound like a lie to you, but…” How to say this? “As much as I’d love to help you out with your dare, I have a girlfriend.” We’d only been out once, but still... “She’s late getting here, but she’s probably out there now, and I think I should—”

“Ah. Oh. Oh, of course. Okay.”

I watched her eyes bounce all over the place, her gaze touching me only once or twice, and even then, only for a second. Then she blindly reached for the handle, opened the door, and stepped out.

“I’m really sorry, you know,” she started, her voice slightly louder in an effort to be heard over the ruckus going on outside. Her eyes dropped down to my pants then came back up to my eyes. “About that…and everything else. This whole night has been weird…weird and stupid. I’m just gonna leave, and…” Another step away. “Yeah. Sorry,” she repeated, her eyes focused on my shoulder instead of my eyes as she kept backing away.

That’s when I realized her eyes were watering. Having a sister teaches you a thing or two about these things, and I knew this girl was seconds away from crying.

“Wait. Hey, wait!” I yelled, quickly walking after her before she could disappear.

She glanced back at me over her shoulder without stopping.

“What’s your name?” I yelled louder.

She gave me a small smile, something between sad and horrified, just as I watched that first tear slide down. Then she was gone, disappearing into the crowd before I could reach her.

Why I wanted to know her name, why my eyes looked for her every now and then the entire night…back then, I didn’t know.