The Hardest Fall(100)

“Zoe, if it were left up to you, you’d probably wait ten years before you made a move. I already know there was no planning involved.”

“He was so good to me yesterday, Jared. As soon as I walked into the apartment, I just crumpled and he picked up my pieces. And then…” I loved Jared to pieces, and he was one of my best friends, but for some reason I didn’t want to share every single detail of what had happened after we made it home. The way he held me, the way he hugged me in the shower, the way we fit so perfectly—it all felt private, like it was just ours, mine and Dylan’s.

“Then it happened,” Jared finished for me.

“Something like that.”

“Now it makes more sense.”

“What does that mean?”

Before he could answer, Becky came running in, a small pink mirror in her hand as she whisper-yelled at us. “I found it! Zoe, I found it!”

“Oh, that’s a beautiful mirror, Miss Bluebird. Now, let’s see what you did to my hair.”

After she demanded I put her to bed, I checked my hair more thoroughly in the bathroom mirror and had to spend a few minutes calming everything down.

As I was walking past Jared’s room, Kayla called my name.

“Is everything okay? I thought you were sleeping.” I walked in and sat on the edge of the bed as she sat up.

“Heard Becky talking to you guys. You’re still here?”

“Yeah, just wanted to stay around a bit longer.” After a long stretch of silence, I asked, “How are you doing?” I’d been worried I wasn’t coming up with the right questions the entire day.

“I’m good.” She sighed. “I’m better, let’s go with that. You can leave, Zoe. It’s late. You don’t have to wait around.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll leave whenever.”

She sighed but nodded. “Mom and Dad are coming tomorrow.” This time it was my turn to nod. “I’m not sure if I’m gonna come back here in January, Zoe. I’m not even sure I can handle finals.”

I wanted to protest, wanted to say it was the stupidest idea I’d ever heard, but it wasn’t. I wanted a chance to spend ten minutes alone in a room with Keith, but I knew it wouldn’t undo the hurt my friend was going through.

Keeping my eyes focused on the dark gray bedding, I choked up. “I want to beg you to come back, KayKay, but I know I can’t.”

“I just don’t think I want to…actually, I don’t think I can is a better answer. I think, and my parents think…”

“I understand, and I want you to do whatever will heal you and make you happy again. You think you’ll stay in Texas, then?”

“I’m not sure.”

I gave her a quick look and looked down at my fingers playing with the edge of the sheets. “Keith’s family lives pretty close to yours though, right?”

She shook her head. “They moved when we came to school here. They’re in Seattle now, so he won’t come to Texas.”

We fell silent.

“Maybe you and Jared can come visit me during summer break.”

I dashed away a tear that was trailing down my cheek. “Yes, I think that’d be great. I’ve never been to Texas.” I bit my lip and hesitated for a second. “If there is a trial and Keith—”

“I don’t want to talk about him, Zoe.”

“Okay. I’m sorry.” She was fisting the sheet so I put my hand on top of hers. “I’m sorry.”

When Kayla didn’t speak, I looked up and saw she was crying too.

“I just can’t seem to stop it, you know,” she said quietly, her lower lip trembling slightly as she wiped the tears away almost as quickly as they were falling. “It comes and goes. One second I’m just fine, and the next I feel sick to my stomach.” She lifted her eyes up to me then looked down at my neck where my bruises were visible even through the foundation I’d applied. “And you’ve been hurt because of me, too—”

I touched my neck with my fingertips. “What? These? I’m not hurt at all, Kayla. I’m just pissed I didn’t get the chance to hurt him myself, so don’t even think about that part of it.”

So far, her preferred method for how to deal with everything had been to avoid all conversation related to Keith. We weren’t going to pry, anyway, and having Becky around provided a buffer. We all laughed at her antics, and it almost felt like any other normal day for three close friends.

“I’m going to miss my best friend,” I said. “Have you told Jared yet?”

“I’ll talk to him.”

That’s when Jared’s head peeked through the open door. “Did someone say my name? I thought you were sleeping, you little liar.” He walked around the bed and sat across from me. “Zoe, your phone is going crazy in your bag. Maybe you should get it.”

Frowning, I got up. I’d forgotten all about my phone after sending Dylan a quick text to tell him Kayla was doing okay. I had seen missed calls and notifications after reading Dylan’s text when I woke up in the middle of the night, but I’d ignored all of it. The first thing I’d done after Dylan and I parted ways in front of our building was combing through everything Mark had sent. After I’d texted him to say I was going to tell Dylan everything, he’d called countless times, left eight voicemails, and sent a couple texts. I’d deleted all of them without even listening to a word. Though I’d ended up reading his texts, none of them had said anything I wanted to hear, so I’d deleted those too. I was done being a doormat for him, and it was way overdue.