The Half Sister(57)

‘So you won’t mind me looking then?’ he says.

Her ears are burning. ‘Not at all.’

He follows her, humming as he thumbs through her contacts and messages, her hatred for him growing with every second. The phone pings, a sign of a text coming in, and her bladder feels like it might give way. He raises his eyebrows as he reads it. ‘Interesting,’ he says.

Every fibre in her body is on high alert, as she imagines what it might say. Has Justin chosen this time to declare his undying love for her? Or has he been unusually intimate; writing in fine detail what he’d like to do to her? Lauren shudders at the thought, more out of fear than desire.

Simon’s eyes are boring into her, but she will not give him the satisfaction of knowing how intimidated she feels. She will not ask who the text is from or what it says.

‘Arrived safely in Birmingham,’ relays Simon. ‘Thanks for today. Hope you got home okay.’

Lauren feels like she might cry with relief, but any respite is short-lived as her mind jumps to the very next problem of having to explain where she’s been all day.

‘Got home okay?’ questions Simon. ‘Where have you been?’

Lauren had hoped to avoid this conversation, not least because she didn’t want to have to explain herself or justify her actions. Though she’d allowed for the possibility that Noah would tell his dad about the trains he’d been on, as he’d spent most of the journey pretending to be the Fat Controller from Thomas the Tank Engine.

‘Jess and I took the kids out for the day,’ she says.

‘Where to?’ asks Simon.

‘Harrogate – to show her where I grew up.’ She bends the truth because it’s easier. Because it means fewer questions, and that makes her life less stressful. ‘You know how Noah is with trains,’ she goes on with a forced smile. ‘He loved it.’

Simon shrugs his shoulders and begrudgingly hands her phone back. ‘You do realize that if you’re doing anything you shouldn’t, I’ll find out about it.’

The threat weighs heavy on Lauren’s shoulders. If whatever this is between her and Justin carries on, she’s going to need a different plan going forward.

There is no going forward, she argues with herself. This needs to stop. Now!

But within seconds she’s conspiring with herself – if Simon’s out working tomorrow night, she could see Justin, even if it’s just to say goodbye. It’s not until her fantasy world collides with reality a few minutes later that she realizes that without a babysitter she’s not going anywhere.

‘I’ll see you later,’ calls out Simon as he goes down the stairs. She hadn’t even realized he was going out.

‘Bye then,’ she whispers as the front door slams so hard that it makes the whole house shudder.

She quickly scoops her hair up into a top knot and pulls on a T-shirt and leggings, desperate to get back to her phone.

Maybe, she texts ‘Sheila’.

Where? comes back the speedy response.

She doesn’t want to do what they did last time; hiding in dark corners, worrying about somebody seeing them.

Your place? she offers, before deleting it and tapping on the screen, deep in thought. What is she thinking? How can she even contemplate meeting Justin again? And at his place? That’s asking for trouble. And anyway, she has no one to call on to have the children.

Yet, despite all of this, there’s still a bubbling in her tummy that’s telling her she will move heaven and earth to see him just one last time. She scrolls absently through her contacts, knowing that there are few people, if any, who she’d entrust with her children. It seems a pointless exercise, but then she sees it, and the answer suddenly dawns on her.

She types a message out, her thumb hovering perilously close to the ‘Send’ button. No one is more surprised to hear that whoosh sound of it being sent than her.

‘Come on, come on,’ she says, like a woman possessed, to the inanimate object in her hand. ‘Say something.’

I’d love that! comes Jess’s reply. What time?

Oh God. Does 8pm suit? types Lauren before she has a chance to change her mind.

Perfect! See you then x

She lets out the breath she was holding in as she stares, transfixed by the text that is slowly appearing, as if by magic, across her phone screen. Y-O-U-R is being spelt out, but it doesn’t feel like she’s typing it. It’s as if she’s outside of herself, looking in.

P-L- Every letter she types makes her feel as if she’s falling deeper into a hole, pulling her into a vortex she doesn’t want to be pulled out of. She’s still got time to change her mind, if she really wants to, but she knows she’s not going to. A-C-E she adds, before sending it and covering her eyes with her hands.

She watches the three dots running across the page, knowing that Justin’s typing his reply, desperate to know what he’s going to say. The three dots disappear and she chastises herself. She’s been too forward. He’s going to think she does this kind of thing all the time. He won’t want to know her now.

Looking forward to it flashes up his reply, and her stomach somersaults.





28


Kate


On the train back to London, Kate is buzzing. She feels more in control now that she has the proof that Jess isn’t who she says she is. She has to remind herself to keep referring to her as Jess, because calling her Harriet will only serve to prove that she knows more than she should. Though it’s how she’s going to use that information that needs the most thought. Kate looks out the window as the open plains of the New Forest are left behind, replaced by the juxtaposition of an industrial park as the train moves across the River Test towards Southampton.