The Half Sister(38)
‘I’m sorry, I don’t . . . I . . . I shouldn’t have.’
Lauren had caught hold of his wrist as he’d taken his hand away from her neck. ‘It’s okay,’ she’d whispered, desperate to hold on to that tingling sensation, as his skin touched hers, for just that little bit longer. He’d cupped her cheek and it had taken all her willpower not to kiss his palm as he traced the outline of her jaw, his fingers outlining her lips.
‘What are we going to do?’ she’d said, looking into his pale blue eyes, knowing that if she weren’t a married mother of three, going home with him would be a foregone conclusion.
‘Whatever you want to do,’ he’d said, and she felt herself falling in love with him all over again.
‘It’s complicated,’ she said.
‘I know, but if we just take things slow . . .’
‘I need to go,’ she said, before she did anything she might regret.
‘Wait, when can I see you again?’
‘I’ll call you,’ she said, rushing off to her car, even though she couldn’t remember where she’d parked it. She’d clicked the key fob in her hand and headed in the direction of the flashing hazard lights. She kept her head down, refusing to look back at him, fearing that if she did, she’d run straight into his arms and never leave.
‘How did it go?’ Rose had asked enthusiastically, when Lauren went back to collect the children.
‘Good,’ Lauren had replied, far too quickly. ‘Really good.’
‘So, you made some inroads?’ asked Rose. ‘You can see a way through.’
Lauren had nodded.
‘Because I can’t bear the thought of you two being at loggerheads. It breaks my heart.’
As if Lauren hadn’t felt bad enough, her mother was sending her on one hell of a guilt trip.
‘I’m sure it will be fine,’ she’d said, all the while thinking that she’d better call Kate first thing in the morning, to forewarn her.
Last night, with a gin and tonic inside her and buoyed by an adrenaline rush she hadn’t experienced since she was a teenager, she’d felt she could justify her actions to her sister. But now, in the cold light of day, Kate’s sanctimonious views on marriage burn deep into Lauren’s psyche and she knows she’s not going to get off lightly if she tells her she was with Justin.
She’s watching a saucepan of water boiling furiously, lost in the bubbles, when Simon comes into the kitchen.
‘Are you going to put anything in that?’ he asks, making her jump.
‘God, you scared me,’ she says, and he offers a self-satisfied smile.
‘Emmy’s up,’ he says, tilting his eyes to the ceiling.
She wants to say, Well, why didn’t you bring her down then? but thinks better of it. The last thing she needs is to rile him, which it seems she can now do even when she’s asleep.
She stiffens as he comes up behind her, reaching around to kiss her cheek. ‘I’ll see you tonight,’ he says. ‘Maybe we can recreate that dream you had.’
She drops two eggs into the saucepan, unable to think of anything worse. There used to be a time when she wouldn’t have let him leave the house in the morning without making love to her first. But that was before having children; when she had the energy and no inhibitions. If she can convince herself that’s the real reason, she can convince herself of anything.
As soon as she hears the front door close, she breathes a sigh of relief, but the problems of the day don’t offer much respite. She overboils the eggs and hopes that Noah and Emmy don’t notice that their soldiers can barely penetrate the yolks.
‘My egg’s not runny,’ is the last thing she hears Noah cry as she gently closes her bedroom door.
She calls Kate’s mobile, hoping that it goes to voicemail, but knowing that she’ll only have to summon the courage to call her again later if it does. She looks at the digital clock on her bedside; it’s not yet eight and she imagines Kate and Matt still nestled under the duvet together, probably making love, uninterrupted, in their swanky apartment. Kate will probably travel into town to meet a celebrity in a fashionable hotel for breakfast this morning before heading into the office to work on an exclusive for tomorrow’s front page. Lauren wonders what it must be like to lead such a glamorous life, with a husband you adore and nothing to tie you down. She tries to push the bubbling envy aside as the phone rings.
‘Hello,’ Kate finally answers groggily. Perhaps they’re not making love after all.
‘It’s me.’
‘Are you okay?’ asks Kate, her voice laced with concern. ‘Has something happened?’
‘No, why would you think that?’
There’s a momentary pause before Kate says, ‘Because you were out last night.’
Lauren’s shoulders slump forward. Rose had obviously beat her to it.
‘About that,’ says Lauren. ‘Did Mum say anything?’
‘Unfortunately, I went round there,’ says Kate.
‘Shit!’ says Lauren, under her breath.
‘So, do you want to tell me what’s going on?’
Lauren feels like a blunt instrument is being ground into her chest. ‘I’m sorry, I told her I was with you.’
‘I know,’ says Kate. ‘But we all know that you weren’t.’