The Good Twin(53)

I was nineteen when I met Ben. I’d been studying in the library when he’d sat down opposite me. For forty minutes, he didn’t say a word to me as he worked on his laptop. I kept eyeing him over the textbook I was reading, catching glimpses of his green eyes. His brown hair flopped over his forehead and stopped an inch past his ears, and I thought he looked like Adonis. Finally, after what seemed like an interminable wait, he said, “Want to get out of here and grab a drink?” No “Hello, what’s your name?” No “What are you studying?” Just right to the point. I think I started to fall in love with him before we’d even left the library.

We went to a popular campus hangout, and we each showed our doctored IDs to order drinks—a beer for him and a Cosmopolitan for me. Three drinks later, I ended up back in the bedroom of his off-campus apartment, and we made love for the first time. After that, I never dated anyone else. It was always Ben. I never even looked at another man. Not until Ezra, and I wasn’t sure if that hadn’t started partly as payback for Ben’s affair.

As graduation loomed, I thought I couldn’t live without Ben. He wanted to go off to law school and wait until he was established in a law firm to get married. I couldn’t bear the thought of that. I was ready for my life to start and unwilling to postpone it. “Why don’t we get married now, and I’ll follow you to law school?” I’d suggested.

“I can’t afford to get married now,” he’d answered. “I’m taking out student loans as it is to pay for school.”

“I’ll get a job and support you,” I’d countered.

“I’ll be studying day and night, and you’ll resent working at a scut job and never seeing me,” he’d replied.

And then, finally, I’d said it: “If you go to law school, then it means I’m less important to you than a job. I’m breaking up with you.” He’d relented, after I’d sweetened the offer with a job at Dad’s firm. Nine months after graduation, we were married at the Pierre Hotel at the south end of Central Park, with four hundred guests in attendance.

Ben had seemed happy. I knew that part of him thought about what his life would have been like if he’d gone to law school, but I know that he started out enjoying his work, and especially his six-figure beginning salary. Ben hadn’t grown up with money. When we married, he was thrown into a world of expensive cars and clothes and any toys that grown men wanted. Of traveling wherever his whim took him. I know he liked those things. Why did it change? How did our relationship become so toxic that he wanted to kill me? If he’d fallen out of love, why didn’t he just ask for a divorce?

I knew the answer. I’d introduced him to the world of wealth, and he didn’t want to give it up. Dad had insisted on the prenuptial agreement, and I’d gone along just to please my father, even though I’d thought we’d never divorce. Now, the marriage was shattered beyond repair. I just had to make sure I survived the wreckage.



“You’re awfully quiet tonight,” Dad said. “Something bothering you?”

I broke out of my trance. I should have been thinking about Ben, about how to deal with living in the same house with him, but instead, I kept thinking about Mallory Holcolm. “No, nothing. Just thinking about the gallery’s taxes. I was working on that all day today.”

Somehow, it felt more shocking to me that I had a sister, a twin sister, than that my husband wanted me dead. I’d known our marriage was in trouble for almost a year. I’d known he’d been addicted to money much longer than that. So, as disturbing as his plan was, it wasn’t a shock.

But a sister! I so wanted to despise her; yet, I wanted to know her, too. I wanted to know more about her life, about our mother, about the ways we were similar and the ways we diverged. I wanted her to be my confidante and me hers. I’d known since a young age I was adopted, and it hadn’t bothered me, but now, for the first time, I had a blood relative. I wanted desperately to be close to her; yet, at the same time, my thoughts kept reverting to her alliance with Ben. Still, blood had won out with her. In the end, she’d come to me. She’d walked away from his scheme and into my life. Now, I had to decide whether to let her in.

My father groaned, and I stood up to get his next dose of medicine. When I returned with it and a glass of water, he said, “You know, you don’t have to be here every night. Tatiana is perfectly capable of bringing me medicine. Stay home with Ben some nights.”

“When you’re better, I’ll stay home with Ben. In the meantime, I’d rather be with you.”

“Nonsense. You’ve always felt a sense of duty. I’m letting you off the hook. If you insist on seeing me every night, come for a half hour, then go home.”

“Daddy, I promise you,” I said, telling him the absolute truth, “this is exactly where I want to be.”



I walked in the door of my townhouse at my usual time—a little after 10:00 p.m. Ben was where he always was—sitting in the den watching television. Usually, it was some sporting event, but tonight it was a political show. From the time I’d met Ben, he’d told me he wanted to go into elective office. Law school was the path he’d seen for that. Part of the reason I had been able to convince him to work for Dad was because of the connections he’d make with wealthy individuals, people who could later back his candidacy when he was ready. Once he’d settled into his new life, the reality of a politician’s salary took hold, and he’d never expressed interest in that career again. Still, once in a while, when there were no sports to watch, he’d turn on a political talk show.