The Girl in the Mirror(69)

“Iris, you crazy cow,” he hisses. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Would you please shut the door?” I hiss back. “And don’t wake Esther or the nurse will come.”

Ben shuts the door. His form, even with his back to me, is so familiar—tall but slight, with those long, angular limbs—that I could pick him from a lineup of thousands. How could I ever have thought he wouldn’t know me?

“How could you do this to Mum?” he asks, turning to face me.

“What have I done?” I ask. “Annabeth prefers Summer. If I didn’t know that already, I would now. You should hear what she says about Iris now that she’s dead.”

Ben’s eyes meet mine.

“About me, I mean,” I find myself saying. “What she says about me now that I’m dead.”

Ben looks aghast. “Jesus, now that you’re dead. Okay, maybe you’re right about our mother, but what about Adam?” He sinks into a chair and buries his head in his hands.

“Um, Adam obviously prefers Summer. As does Tarquin. As does, actually, everybody.”

“Except me,” says Ben.

“Well, you weren’t too cut up, were you? Don’t forget, I read the email you sent Summer when I died. You didn’t even mention my name. In fact, let’s go back a step. You sent an email.”

“So you think I didn’t care? Iris, for a bright girl you can be freaking stupid. I didn’t phone or visit when you died, and you think it’s because I didn’t care about you. I lie in bed every night thinking about you lost out there in the darkness. You who loved the ocean, who were always so powerful and brave. Did you suffer? Were you alive, injured, struggling to stay afloat? Were you terrified? Despairing? What got you in the end, the cold or exhaustion? Or a . . . a . . .”

He sticks his fist in his teeth and bites down. I know what he can’t say. The thought that a predator took our sister. It haunts me, too.

“But all that did happen to your sister, just not the sister you thought.”

“Oh, and that would make no difference to me?”

“Well, if anything, it’s worse that it was Summer.”

Ben’s face screws into a scowl. I can feel his fury. “You know what, Iris? Fuck you and your obsession with Summer. I know you think the sun shone out of her pristine little butt, so you’ll just have to wonder why I didn’t rush to her grief-stricken side. No, you know what? I will tell you. I thought it was murder. Just so you know. I thought she pushed you. And I couldn’t do a goddamn thing about it. I knew she would have covered her tracks.”

My scalp prickles. Is this how Ben thinks about his family, that we would kill each other over the money?

“Why would Summer ever want or need to kill me?” I ask. “She had everything.”

“Maybe you were pregnant.”

“No,” I say. “She was pregnant.”

Red spots appear before my eyes. I can’t bear what my brother is about to say.

“I didn’t do anything, Ben,” I say. “You have to believe me. She fell.”

Ben rolls his eyes. “Would you quit already, you moron? I know you, Iris. I’ve spent my life watching you watching Summer. You kill her? You’d as soon cut out your own heart. But who else will believe you? She was pregnant, about to get a hundred million dollars. The press will dig up the whole sordid story. They’re gonna love how you rushed out and married Noah the day after Summer and Adam got engaged. You’ve framed yourself perfectly. You know Noah’s in town for the memorial service, by the way? Don’t you think he might recognize you?”

All I can see is blood. That blood in the cockpit. Adam washed it away. Has he forgotten it?

Ben’s right. I’ve framed myself perfectly. What a mistake to throw that CCTV footage in the sea. If Adam ever finds out who I am and starts wondering about that blood, I’m done for.

And the memorial service is tomorrow. Annabeth decided to delay the memorial service for her lost daughter until my birthday “so that we only need to live through one dreadful day.” She avoided consulting me about the service because she didn’t want to stress me out during my pregnancy, but it should have been obvious to me that Noah or Ben might attend.

“And what about the sprog?” Ben gestures contemptuously toward Esther’s bassinet. “Is it Adam’s or Noah’s? Do you even know?”

“How dare you bring my daughter into this!” I cry. “I’m sorry you missed out on the cash, but if you tell anyone, it won’t help you, because Virginia’s married and pregnant, too. Or are you ahead of us all? Have you had a baby?”

“Is that what you think?”

“I don’t know,” I say. “Francine thinks so. Have you? Is that why you’re here, to claim the cash?”

Ben glares at me with such a look of pain, anger, and hatred that I have to look away.

“This is bullshit,” he says.

Esther stirs in her sleep. My body tells me to go and pick up my baby, but I don’t want Ben to look at her. Not when he’s so enraged.

“I’ll give up the money,” I say.

“It’s too late for that.” Ben speaks slowly, coldly. “Think, Iris. Think hard. If anyone does bust you, the money is the only thing that could keep you out of prison.”