The Girl in the Love Song (Lost Boys #1)(50)

Violet’s dark blue eyes were miles deep, so beautiful the way she looked at me, seeing and accepting every flawed and broken piece of me.

The air thickened and turned heavy.

I cleared my throat. “Short answer, I want to make music and earn enough money to live without being so goddamn stressed out all the time. And to help my mom.”

Violet smiled softly. “I get that. But with talent like yours, being famous or not might be out of your hands.”

I smirked. “I think that’s overstating it.”

“I don’t.”

God, her faith in me was total. As if superstardom was a matter of when, not if. But the internet was flooded with wannabe Shawns and Billies. I’d just be another voice shouting into an overcrowded void. On the other hand, my own plan to send unproduced, raw-as-hell demos to record companies wasn’t exactly a sure bet either.

“We can try, but—”

“Great! I’m ready when you are.”

But I still needed to tell her I was ready to stop being an asshole and be the friend she wanted. To take care of her like she took care of me. Best to do it quick, like tearing off a Band-Aid.

“So, how are things with River?” I asked, unlatching my case.

She sat back on her bed, wary. “Why are you asking?”

“Because you’re my friend. And I want you to be happy.”

Her shoulders relaxed, and her smile was so goddamn beautiful…

“Thank you. I want that for you too. I’ve missed you.” Her smile faltered. “But River? I’m not sure what’s there. If anything.”

“No?” My heart stood at attention and my plans instantly wanted to go up in flames. “Why not?”

She shrugged. “He seems interested but then he doesn’t. He asked me to Homecoming and then hasn’t texted since. It’s just weird.”

“Oh.” I pulled out my guitar and set it on my lap, pretending to mess with the frets. “You looked pretty happy with him at the pep rally.”

“That’s only because I have to work overtime with my formidable charm and wit just to make the barest of conversation,” she teased. “Hell, we played a kissing game, and he didn’t even kiss me.”

My head shot up, my heart taking off. “He didn’t?”

“It’s like he’s nervous around me, which has to be impossible, right?”

“No. Not impossible at all.” My voice had turned gruff. Thick. Violet noticed.

“So…what about you?” she asked, plucking an invisible piece of lint off her pajama pants. “Are you and Amber going to the dance?”

Was it my imagination that she sounded afraid of the answer? But afraid I’d say yes? Or no?

“I haven’t asked her yet. Don’t know that I’m going, anyway,” I added quickly.

Violet tucked a lock of raven black hair behind her ear, her eyes anywhere but on me. “So…shall we?”

I nodded as my every honorable intention walked away. The neutral song I’d been thinking about playing followed it out the door as well. “All I’ll Ever Want,” the song I’d wanted to sing to her on the eve of the first day of school, was now front and center.

“Ready?” she asked.

“What do I do?”

“Introduce yourself and tell us the name of the song you’re about to destroy us with.”

I sat on the edge of Violet’s bed, and she sat beside me, cross-legged, phone held up.

“Five, four, three…”

“So, hey. I’m Miller Stratton,” I said, suddenly nervous without the liquid courage of tequila I’d had at the party. The eye of Violet’s phone camera stared me down. “Uh, I’m from Santa Cruz, California…”

Suddenly, my knit beanie was itchy as hell. I took it off and scrubbed my hand through my hair. A few locks fell over my brow. Violet’s eyes widened and her breath caught. Probably because I was messing this all up. I whipped the hair out of my eyes, cleared my throat, and put my attention safely on my guitar.

“I’m going to play a song called ‘All I’ll Ever Want.’”

My fingers found the strings and strummed, creating sounds that helped make order out of my chaotic feelings. The emotions and harmonies were like twin currents that carried my voice, and my voice spoke the words—a hundred different ways of saying the same thing. Asking Violet the same thing—to fall in love with me the way I loved her.

At the last chorus, my voice rose up and my heart clenched, squeezing hard and emptying itself, giving everything.



Feels so good and feels so weak

This love cuts until I bleed

Don’t touch me, baby, don’t look at my scars,

Until you want to know which ones are yours

All I’ll ever want

All I’ll ever want

Is for you to fall in love with me tonight



The last note wavered then dissipated. Violet held the phone a moment more, then hit stop and dropped her hands in her lap. Her mouth was open, her lush, full lips parted. Her porcelain skin was flushed and her eyes lit up. I saw me reflected in her eyes. Someone who just might make it out of this shit life after all with whatever talent God or the universe saw fit to give me.

“Miller, my God…” she breathed. “That was…”