The Girl in the Love Song (Lost Boys #1)(31)

“Of course, it is. But that…” I waved my hand at the Homecoming table. “That’s just fun. It’s high school. It’s experiences, and I want them. I need them. My every waking hour is taken up with studying and extracurriculars…my home life is imploding. And if Nancy’s really sick—like terminal—I’ll take any distraction I can that isn’t complete shit. Okay?”

“Fine. Whatever.”

We stood in a terrible, tense silence that broke my heart because it wasn’t us. So much stress was etched into Miller’s handsome face, and I saw new worry suffused in his eyes that already held their fair share.

“I heard about what happened with Frankie yesterday,” I ventured.

“I’m sure you did.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Made a new friend.”

“That new guy, Ronan? I have him in History. In theory. He hasn’t shown up—”

“He’s suspended,” Miller said.

“I heard he broke Frankie’s nose.”

“You heard right. I wasn’t feeling up to the job.”

My hand on his arm tightened. “Were your numbers low? Again? Maybe you should talk to your endocrinologist. Or what about your PCV? How is that working out?”

“It’s not.”

“What does that mean?”

He gently extracted his arm from my grip. “Stop worrying about me, Vi. Please. Just…stop.”

“I can’t. I can never stop caring about you. You’re my best friend.”

The bell rang, and he stared at me through it, then looked away. “I gotta get to class.”

“Miller, talk to me. Please.”

The fight went out of him; his shoulders dropped. His deep, gravelly voice sounded even rougher. “My mom has a new boyfriend.”

“Oh.” My heart sank at the subtext imbedded in those words. “Is he…bad?”

“Remains to be seen how bad, but yeah. The PCV, Marco, came over the other day. Chet made a complete ass of himself. It was fucking humiliating. So I told the guy not to come back.”

“Miller, no. You need the help.”

“I’ll be fine. And I don’t want to talk about it, Vi.”

I nodded reluctantly. “Okay. I’m sorry you have to put up with that. Him.”

His eyes met mine and the hard walls came down a little, like they only did for me. He sighed, ran a hand through his longish brown hair. “I’m sorry for being a dick, but it’s just what I’ve been dealing with.”

Wordlessly, I hugged him tight. He leaned into me, let me hold him, but his hands were light on my back as if it burned him to touch me.

“Mr. Stratton? Miss McNamara?” Over Miller’s shoulder, Vice Principal Chouder was tapping his watch. “You’re both late.”

Miller pulled back, shouldered his bag, his gaze anywhere but on me.

“See you later?” I asked.

I wanted to ask if he’d come over that night, like I had a thousand times in four years. But it felt wrong. Everything between us now felt all wrong.

“Yeah, see you, Vi,” he said and quickly walked away.





In History class that day, I sat next to Shiloh as usual. Mr. Baskin called roll.

“Watson?”

“Here.”

“Wentz?” A silence followed, and then Baskin, a heavyset guy with a graying beard, muttered to himself. “Oh, that’s right. Suspended.”

He made a check in his roll book, then restarted the movie on the whiteboard that we’d begun last class: a documentary on the Russian revolution.

When the classroom was dark and the documentary rolling, Shiloh leaned into me, whispering, “Okay, Miss Friends-with-TMZ. Who is this new guy who keeps not showing up?”

“Ronan Wentz,” I whispered back. “He’s suspended for punching Frankie Dowd. Broke his nose.”

“My hero,” Shiloh muttered. “That shithead had it coming.”

I nodded. “He was giving Miller a hard time. Again.”

Shiloh scowled and tossed a cluster of small braids over her shoulder. “Frankie’s psychotic. Gets it from his dad, I’m sure.”

“The police officer?”

“Yep. You’re not the only one with gossip. Bibi’s friends with one of the detectives at the precinct near our house.”

I smiled. “Bibi is friends with everyone.”

Shiloh’s grandmother was pushing eighty, almost totally blind, and active in nearly every rotary, city, and social club in town.

“Bibi said her detective friend warned her about Officer Dowd. He’s had a few disciplinary issues lately.”

“Evelyn said this Ronan guy looked like a criminal himself. Not that she was there…”

“He’d better watch his ass then,” Shiloh said, facing forward. “If he broke Frankie’s nose, his dad is going to be out for blood.”

I was quiet for a minute and then leaned back at Shiloh. “Did Miller mention to you about his mom having a new boyfriend?”

“No. He’s been pretty quiet lately. Why?”

“I think he’s not a good guy. Miller won’t tell me much and I don’t think he’s coming over anymore. I think…”