The Girl in the Love Song (Lost Boys #1)(102)

“Stop torturing yourself,” I muttered as I pulled the car into the covered parking of the Desert Dune Apartments.

It was a cute complex about a mile from Baylor. Despite my roommate, Veronica’s urging to make it my own, it had very little of me in it. Her tapestries and bizarre artistic knickknacks filled the cozy two-bedroom, one bath unit. My contribution had been to bring in a few houseplants for a bit of green, but I never quite felt settled there. Like wearing a sweater that was too tight.

Inside our apartment, I headed straight for the shower to wash the scent of bacon grease from my hair and skin. Afterward, I dressed in a tank top and sleep pants—my usual Friday night attire. Veronica’s bedroom door was open, but she wasn’t home. The apartment was thick with silence.

I had a report to write up for Physics Lab, but the couch called to me because suddenly, I was so tired. Tired of being sad. Tired of missing him. God, I missed Miller so much, my bones ached. Sometimes, in moments like that, I had the urge to throw it all away, quit school, and be with him on tour. But I knew it would wreck us. As hard as it was being apart, it would be harder still for me to do nothing and watch my own goals slip away, city by city, concert by concert. I would lose my sense of self. Miller and I were two halves of the same equation. If I faded away, we wouldn’t work anymore.

Still, tears filled my eyes to look at the wreckage of my old life. I missed Mom and Dad. I missed my house in Santa Cruz and the family we’d once been in it. I missed Shiloh and River…all of us blasted apart and flung to all corners of the country.

As if she’d heard my silent plea, my phone lit up with Shiloh’s number.

I swallowed my tears. “Hey, Shi.”

“What’s wrong?”

I sniffed a laugh. “Hello to you too.”

“It’s me, Vi,” she said. “I know you.”

“I’m so glad it’s you,” I said, curling up on the couch. “I miss your voice.”

“Me too, girl. How are things? Though I think I already know.”

“I’ve been better.” I hesitated, then asked anyway. “How’s Ronan?”

“Same.” She bit off the word.

“And you? How are you, Shi?”

She exhaled softly into the phone, but when she spoke, her voice was hard again. “I’m fine. It’s you I’m worried about. I read that Miller is going to be on the next cover of Rolling Stone and something told me to call.”

“Is he?” I said, my heart soaring and cracking at the same time.

“He didn’t tell you?”

“He never tells me stuff like that. He considers it bragging.”

“Lord, that boy. He’s the least-famous famous person I know. How are you holding up?”

“Okay. I had to take some time off from the diner to get a huge Biochem project completed. Now I have midterms coming up.”

“You should be proud,” Shiloh said. “You’re working your ass off over there.”

“Thank you. I’m sort of proud of me too.” Tears filled my eyes. “This is hard.”

Her tone grew soft. “I know it is.”

I sniffed and wiped my eyes, trying to keep it together. “But we knew it would be. He’s headlining a world tour. He has shows almost every night. There are time zone differences…” I heaved a sigh. “I’m trying to stay positive.”

“I know. Long-distance relationships suck and you’re over there without even a lifeline from your parents. Has Miller offered to help with your college? I’m sure he—”

“No, no. My tuition is paid for. I earned that scholarship on my own and I want to keep earning it.”

“Okay, but how about rent? He’s sent you money, right? He’s making a fortune over there. There’s no way he wouldn’t help you.”

“He wants to. And if I got in real trouble, he’d help but I don’t want his money. All my life, I’ve been a pampered rich kid who never had to want for anything. Hell, I never even had a job until Mack’s.”

“Girl, you volunteered for every medical program under the sun.”

“True, but ultimately that helped me get ahead in my career. I never had to earn a living. I think I need this. I can’t see the whole thing yet, but I feel like my crappy job, my crazy school work load and even being apart from Miller are making me a better person. One who understands what it’s like to struggle so I can appreciate what I have even more.”

Like Miller has done is entire life.

“Well, dang, girl. I guess Snow White has left the building.”

I laughed. “I hope so.” I plucked a piece of lint off the couch. “Shi, you know you can talk to me, right? Like how I talk to you?”

A silence. Then, “I know.”

“I mean, if it’s too much to talk about, I get it. I don’t want to make you relive anything over the phone with me. But I just want you to know that I’m here, okay?”

“Okay,” she said, her voice breathy with tears. Then she cleared her throat, pulling her own protective walls around her. After all that happened, I couldn’t blame her.

“Shi?”

“I’m okay. I promise.”

“Okay. Call me if that ever changes. Hell, call me anyway.”