The Gender War (The Gender Game #4)(82)

I stood for a moment, my mouth hanging open. An icy spear of fear had sunk into my heart at the very thought of Tim and Jay going anywhere near that palace… near Tabitha. I’d been keeping silent, letting them go on dangerous missions, knowing that if either of them got hurt or lost their lives, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself anymore. This was the moment I had to put my foot down.

“Tim, Jay,” I said slowly, looking for words. “You can’t. Not this time.”

Tim’s face became thunderous, and he took a step forward. “We go,” he said insistently, and I slowly shook my head.

“I know you want to help,” I said, “but I can’t take you with me. I… The resistance… We need you both to stay here. What if Amber and I don’t make it? Can the group afford to lose both of you, too? And I can’t have you anywhere near the Matrians. If Tabitha catches you, she’ll start making you take the Benuxupane… and then you’ll be under their control. What if they tried to make you hurt one of us?”

Tim’s gray eyes were fierce. “Never,” he said, and I understood exactly what he meant. But I still couldn’t take the chance.

“I love you, little brother,” I begged. “But please. Please, listen to me. You can’t come. I can’t take the risk that you’ll end up imprisoned again. Or that you’ll end up like Henrik.” I looked at him, then at Jay, including him in my statement. “I can’t lose you guys, too.”

The two young men fell silent for a moment. Then, finally, Jay gave me a look, letting out a sigh, and turned to my brother. “She’s right, Tim. This time… we should stay here.”

I gave him a grateful look, and turned back to Tim. He wasn’t happy, but after taking a look at Jay, he nodded, then strode off, his face tight and his spine rigid. Jay followed, catching up with him and leaning up to say something to him.

I watched my brother, wishing I didn’t have to see him leave like this, wishing I could make him smile again. But it was probably better this way. I steeled myself, telling myself that it was better he was angry and safe here, than happy to be going into danger with me. But the pain in my chest stayed.

Finally, I turned back to Amber, who had watched the whole thing impassively, without comment. “All right,” I said. “I think… I have a plan. I’m going to go get the egg and some supplies. Could you go into your father’s secret basement room and grab a few things?”

“What? Secret basement?” Amber wrinkled her nose in confusion.

I realized then that, of course, she can’t have known about it, or she would have informed us of its existence before. After I explained to her what we’d found, she told me that it must have been installed during the time she was away from home. Then she nodded at my request to go there, and listened intently as I outlined the rudimentary parts of my plan. It had more than a few bugs, and I was going to need additional assistance, but I would cross that bridge when I came to it… and hopefully not have to set it on fire in the process.





31





Violet





“Are you sure you can’t get ahold of Viggo?”

Jeff shook his head, his face reflecting genuine worry. “I’m certain he and Owen took a handheld, but since it was from Mr. Ashabee’s armory, I haven’t been able to find out which one it was to connect to them.”

My heart sank further in my chest. “Keep trying, please?”

“What shall I tell Viggo if I do get ahold of him?” Jeff asked, his eyes looking too keenly into my own.

“Just… just find me and give me the handheld,” I said, and Jeff nodded. “Of course, Violet.”

Now there was a man with some discretion. I felt vaguely guilty about not telling Jeff my whole plan, but I didn’t know what his, the staff’s, and the other refugees’ response would be. It was certain that other parts of our group would soon notice Amber’s return; the news spread fast in such a little group. But I didn’t want any of them to try to stop us—or try to join us, for that matter. This matter wasn’t up for popular vote. I hoped Jeff would forgive me.

I ran up to the room Viggo and I shared, staring around, trying to make a quick and rational list of things I might need. I hoped that Jeff could get in touch with Viggo. I wanted his advice on my plan, and I couldn’t, wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.

Of course, with the heloship, which could get to the palace in under an hour, there was a chance that I could wait to see if Viggo and Owen returned. I could push my luck until the last possible moment, just to get a glance at his face, then drag him—the one other person Henrik had said the whole group followed—into danger with me. Could this rebellion survive without both of us? I wanted to say it could, but I had no certainty. I had time to see Viggo again, if I waited.

But then I would have no time to set up my rapidly forming plan.

Tabitha had thrown down a challenge, threatened my family, taken her fight directly to what was closest to me. I was terrified, but more than that, I was angry. I was furious. I was tired of waiting for the next shoe to drop, the next body to fall lifeless to the floor. Tabitha wanted me? Fine. But if I was going down, I was taking her down with me.

I finished packing quickly. I threw the prototype egg—Mr. Jenks’ failed test—into my bag, along with a change of clothes, the bloodstained picture of Cad and his family, and a few spare clips for my pistol, which I had kept out of our shared stockpiles, just in case.