The Gender War (The Gender Game #4)(42)

Owen looked pointedly at Amber. “She might not even need to send somebody to kill them if she sends them all out on suicide missions. I probably would have died in that bombing… Did she give you guys a backup plan if you succeeded in killing the king? Or did she just leave you to fend off the entire king’s guard, just the three of you?”

“It would have been worth it—if we could change how things are run in this rotten country,” Amber said simply, then crossed her arms, turning to gaze out at the passing farms. We were deep into the farmlands now, and I hadn’t seen this much produce in a very long time. I hadn’t even known that corn grew on stalks taller than a man—a discovery that surprised me in a good way, even though the topics we discussed were so heavy.

Owen turned back to the road, shaking his head in the face of Amber’s stubbornness and addressing me again. “I wish I could go back and help them, Violet. I wish I knew that the rest of them would be safe, that there was another way for them to fix society. But I can’t see how it will work. None of them will even believe us anymore, probably. I doubt that Desmond has forgotten to tell them about me… defecting. I know how she works. She could have ordered me killed on sight as a traitor. And even if I wanted to take my chances… she still has Ian.”

Owen’s voice had fallen into deep sadness, his face portraying how trapped he felt. It took me a moment to figure out that Ian was his brother, one of the boys who had been taken from a Matrian family. Just like Tim… I remembered Owen had mentioned it, but he hadn’t used his brother’s name before. I wondered if all this had gone through his mind when he’d decided to join us instead of run back to the Liberators from the Matrian palace.

“Owen,” I said softly. “I’m so sorry.” I had my own brother here with me; Owen hadn’t been able to save his. When I’d lost my brother, I’d been willing to do just about anything to save him. The thought woke a dark anger in me. “We’ll find a way to get Ian back,” I told Owen. “I don’t know how yet, but we’ll do it. And we’ll do it the right way. We won’t make compromises with Desmond… We’ll just have to beat her.”

Owen’s expression was ashen as he looked out at the road, not saying anything for a moment. Then he looked at me. “Thanks, Violet,” he said, swallowing. “If anyone can do it, you can.”

His confidence warmed me. I felt a little bit better for making the promise, even if I had no idea how to go about it yet.

In between me and Owen, Amber had turned sullenly silent. She seemed unaffected by the emotions passing between us, and I watched her sadly. I disagreed with her, but she was my friend too, and I wished she wouldn’t be so closed off. Since she clearly wouldn’t talk any more about this subject, I tried a different one.

“So, what can you tell us about where we’re going?” I asked her.

Amber sighed and lifted her legs, placing her boots on the dashboard and sinking deeper in the seat. “It’s a large estate, guarded by built-in automated defenses. It will have provisions and space. If the perimeter is breached it will be hard to defend outside of the house, but the inside has defenses. A small, armed unit could theoretically hold it for days.”

It sounded impressive—exactly what we were looking for, actually—but I had been hoping for something a little more personal from her. After all, Amber was in an odd situation, Patrian-born but fighting for the Liberators, which consisted mostly of families who’d had their sons or brothers taken from them by the Matrian government. I knew only a little about her history—that her father had tried to give her to another man—and wasn’t sure that explained the full extent of her reluctance to go home.

“What about our reception?” I asked, but Amber’s only response was to give me a stony look, and then turn back to the window.

All right then. I’d tried, at least, but it was clear she wasn’t going to say more. I had to trust that she would tell us if the situation were dangerous. Otherwise, I was going to be incredibly pissed at her—especially if she held back details that got someone hurt or killed.

I turned my gaze to the road rolling by, and let my mind drift to the topic of the larger problem we were facing. Namely, how to undermine Desmond and Elena’s plans. We had already dealt them a blow by saving the king. Raising a rebellion for him was something I left to Ms. Dale and Viggo—I had no idea how to recruit people, and I trusted their guidance on how to proceed.

Yet with the hanging threat of the Matrians using the boys to fight through Desmond’s control over them, I couldn’t imagine it would be a straightforward battle. There was no way Ms. Dale, Viggo, or I would want to bring any harm to those boys. They were victims of a carefully planned deception. Who knew all the lies Desmond was filling their heads with, fueled by the Benuxupane that tempered their moods?

My mind circled around that. Whether it was by design or accidental side effect, Benuxupane did make the user more complacent as well as less emotional. I knew from personal experience. After all, Lee had used it on me when I had resisted his plan to frame Viggo. Which meant that the boys on Benuxupane would be much easier to turn into human weapons.

Which meant we needed to try to find the drug, all of it… and destroy it. That would effectively stop regular dosing, and if we could slow down or stop the drug’s manufacture, it would give the boys a fighting chance to at least decide for themselves where their loyalties lay. Which meant we needed to find out where the Benuxupane was being stored and where it was being made.