The Gender Plan (The Gender Game #6)(43)

She sighed again, her arms twitching in frustration. I closed the distance between us again to grab her hand, pressing it flat between my own. She rocked back and forth on her feet, her eyes distant and vacant. “Hey,” I soothed, reaching out with one hand to cup her cheek. Her eyes danced back, and I could see the tears there. My heart bled for her, and I bent over and gently pressed kisses to her forehead, her eyebrows, her eyelids, the tip of her nose, and then, finally, a small chaste kiss to her lips. “I know exactly how you feel.”

“Ian wasn’t your fault,” Violet said automatically, crushing herself to my chest. “He wasn’t.”

I shook my head, my heart a stone in my chest, listening, but not really understanding. “It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change what I see in my dreams. How it feels.”

She didn’t respond, but then again, this time, she didn’t need to. We just held each other, drawing strength from the support and compassion we found in our embrace. It helped soothe the pain a little, and gave us this one small place of solace that we could only find in the other. I didn’t know what I would do without her, and I didn’t want to find out.

I could happily lose all awareness of time, standing there. Yet, as inevitable as the sun rising in the east, it was impossible to prevent the moment from being shattered by the eagerness of a young man hellbent on being the perfect soldier.

“Hey, guys!” shouted Jay as he rushed over, a long duffel bag swinging casually from his hand. “Whatcha doing?”

Violet nuzzled in a little closer, her eyes still closed, and I could tell she was content to ignore Jay in order to steal a few more moments with me. It made me smile, and even, just for a moment, consider doing the same. But in the end, I couldn’t—it was Jay.

“Talking about politics,” I said sarcastically, and Tim, who was following Jay at a more leisurely pace, snorted. He moved up around Jay, pushing my bag deeper into the small trunk, and then took the oblong bag from Jay.

“Yeah? I bet you guys were smooching. Which brings me to an important question! Can you guys explain sex to me?”

I froze, feeling very much like a deer facing an oncoming truck. Looking down at Violet, I saw her fighting back a laugh, burying her face into my chest so hard, it felt like she was physically trying to shove her head into my ribcage. I let out a little cough that turned to a laugh halfway through, aware of how uncomfortable and awkward it sounded, and then cleared my throat.

“I… um… What do you want to know?”

Jay shifted uncomfortably, and then ran his hand through his hair, his shoulders shrugging halfheartedly. “I don’t really know,” he admitted honestly. “I heard someone say ‘sex,’ and then say a bunch of stuff that I didn’t really understand. I know it has something to do with a—”

“And this is the point where I leave,” Violet practically sang, her eyes sparkling in humor. “I’ve got a lot of work to do.”

“You cannot leave me like this,” I hissed, taking a step forward to grab her arm.

She danced away, moving faster than she probably should have, and gave me a little wink. “Relax! You got this.”

“But wait, Violet… don’t you want to tell Tim? I mean… he should know too.” Jay’s stare was wide-eyed with concern over Violet’s looming departure.

Tim snorted again, laughing as he finished loading the last bag and closed the trunk. “It okay. I know sex.”

I pressed my lips together, trying to fight the urge to laugh. Tim’s English was fragmented as a result of years of isolation in his solitary confinement. I knew—absolutely knew—that he did not mean it how it sounded.

Violet cleared her throat, clasping her hands in front of her, her smile widening. “Our orphanage had sex education once a year,” she announced primly. “It was mandatory. But the first time I heard it, I was so horrified that I had to tell somebody about it all… And my brother was the only one around. Uh, he didn’t seem too traumatized.”

With that, she waggled her fingers and disappeared into the house. I gaped at her departure, and then turned to Tim. The young man tossed his head, and then gave me a little shrug. “Busy,” he said, before turning and ambling away, trying to whistle.

Which left me with Jay, who was staring up at me expectantly. I closed my eyes, inhaled deeply, and then met his gaze. “Let’s talk about it in the car, buddy. We need to get out of here soon anyway.”

If possible, Jay became even more eager. “All right. How can I help?”

“Go inside and do a last check with Violet and Ms. Dale—see if there is any more leftover equipment for us to share or any final jobs we might be needed for before we go.”

Jay gave a little salute, and then bounded off, hot on Violet’s trail. I smiled as I watched him go, wondering how I was ever going to give him the talk, and then turned toward the barn. Owen was busy there, carefully packing rifles into a bag, oblivious that I was only a minute’s walk away.

I took a deep breath, trying to clear my mind from the anger that was beginning to build in me just watching him, and then walked toward him. At first, he didn’t notice me. He was so absorbed with his task of breaking down the gun and making sure the chamber was clear, magazine out. When he did notice me, he froze, and then slowly sat the gun down, standing up from the bench he had been perched on. I stopped just on the other side of the table, keeping a healthy distance between us.