The Friendship List(63)

“No.” She picked up her fork and put it back down. “I’m determined to let him tell me himself. At some point he has to. He can’t just disappear for a week or two.” She managed a smile. “Besides, someone has to drive him to the airport.”

“Are you still upset?”

“Less than I was. You’re right. I’m not going to lose him, even though that’s what it feels like. He’ll tell me. I just wish he already had.”

He reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “Want me to slap him around for you?”

She laughed. “Thank you but I’m good.” Her smile faded. “Lissa and I talked when we went shopping today.”

His good mood vanished. He pulled back his hand and told himself whatever it was, he could handle it.

“Is she pregnant?”

“What?” Her voice was a shriek. She looked around, then lowered it. “No. Why do you always go there?”

“It’s the worst-case scenario.”

“No, it’s not. There are plenty things much worse than an unexpected pregnancy.”

He remembered she’d had to deal with one and winced. “Sorry. You’re right.”

Their server brought the drinks. When he’d left, Ellen said, “Lissa talked about her mom. She thinks Becky only had her to keep you around.”

He sagged back in his chair. “She said that?”

“Kind of.” She sighed. “Yes, but it was more the point of the conversation that concerned me.” Her tone gentled. “I know they don’t see each other much.”

“Or at all. Once Lissa and I moved here, Becky lost interest. I’ve been worried about that. I love Lissa, but I’m not always enough.” He looked at her. “What with being a guy and all.”

“You do have your flaws, but you’re a great dad. I’m sorry Becky is such an indifferent mother. That must hurt both of you. Was she like that when you were still married?”

“Some. I was way more excited about the pregnancy than she was.” He grimaced. “Becky was always on me about my football career. She seemed to think if I tried harder, I could become a starter and a star. That was her goal. It wasn’t like I didn’t want that, too.”

He’d worked as hard as he knew how. He’d taken his body to the limits of his endurance, then had pushed past them. There was skill and there was experience and then there was a God-given gift. He had the first two but the last one had eluded him.

Oh, he’d been good. No one got as far as he did without talent, but that extra ability needed to cross the line to greatness had eluded him.

“When I finally retired from the NFL, our marriage really suffered,” he said. “Becky hated everything about my coaching job at the community college. In a twist of fate I can’t explain, she loved the town. Just not me.”

“What about Lissa?”

He tried to remember. “I guess she lost interest in her, too.” He thought about all that had happened, all he never talked about. “She cheated. That’s why we finally split up.”

Ellen stared at him. “No way. She had an affair?”

“More than one.” He tried to smile. “Ironic, huh? Not that I was ever unfaithful, but what with playing football and all, I’d be the one who was expected to do that.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shrugged. “I was at the time, but now I see it was her way of ending things. She wasn’t subtle about it and when I gave her an ultimatum, she chose to stay with the other guy. So I moved out.”

“Did you take Lissa with you?”

“We shared custody until I got the job here. When I told Becky I wanted to move, she said I should take Lissa with me. I know it was the right decision, but I hope I didn’t mess her up.”

Ellen smiled at him. “You did the right thing. She’s great and she knows you love her.”

“Then why is she acting out?”

“That, I don’t know.”

Their server returned with menus and told them about the specials.

“I’ll give you a few minutes to decide,” he said with a smile. “And don’t forget tonight we have live music and dancing, starting at eight.”

Ellen looked at Keith, her eyes bright. “Live music and dancing? People do that?”

“The band plays the music, but yes, people dance. You’ve never been—”

He stopped himself, remembering what she’d told him. Of course she hadn’t been out dancing—she hadn’t been on a date since she got pregnant with Coop. She hadn’t done anything.

Not even make love with a man.

That unhelpful comment, compliments of some twisted part of his brain, caused him to look at her breasts, which basically emptied his mind of rational thought.

She looked around, as if trying to figure out where it all happened. “Can we... Would you...”

She wanted to stay and dance. He couldn’t remember for sure, but he thought maybe it was on her list of things to do to be wild. Although dancing in a restaurant wasn’t anyone’s definition of wild, unless you’d never done it.

He supposed the good news was if she was that close to him, he wouldn’t have to worry about being distracted by looking at her breasts.