The Friend Zone (Game On, #2)(86)

“I was a mistake,” I blurt out.

Gray blinks, his expression pinched. “A mistake? What? You think I view you as a mistake?”

“No.” I take a breath. “I was an accidental pregnancy. My parents were only dating when Mom became pregnant. She was supposed to go back to England, not stay here. They got married because of me.” The irony is a twist in my guts.

For a second, Gray just stares. Then he reaches for me and I’m cuddled tight against his chest. “Honey, no. No.”

Burrowing closer, I clutch his waist. “How can you say no when you don’t even understand what I mean?”

“Because I know you.” He leans back a little to look me in the eye. “You think we’re like them? That I’m asking you because I feel obligated? Fuck no.” His fingers trace my jaw. “We’re nothing like them. First off, we’re not dating.” His mouth twists like it’s an ugly word. “We’re together, as in I wake up every morning and think, ‘Thank f*ck, Ivy wants me. How can I persuade her to keep me forever?’”

I snort and lean my head against his chest. “I do want you,” I whisper. “But that doesn’t mean we have to get married. Don’t ask me because of this pregnancy. That would be the very worst way to start a marriage. You’ll regret it, Gray. Trust me.”

Gray blows out a frustrated breath. “Did your dad ever say why he cheated?”

Caught off guard, the answer tumbles out of me. “He said he felt like it was his due. Women and fame.”

“Well, that’s not me. I’ve had that already and just…” He shakes his head. “No. I’m twenty-two and I feel like an old man with that shit. The thought of fooling around like that again exhausts me, makes me ill. I haven’t even looked at another woman since we started texting. Because I only want you. With or without a baby, I want you, Mac. Just you.”

“But you’re asking me to marry you, Gray.”

“Uh, yeah, and you keep rejecting me, damn it.” He laughs, but the vulnerability in his voice guts me.

My palm spreads over his heart. “Are you going to tell me that you’d have asked if I wasn’t pregnant?”

His chest lifts on a sigh, and he peers down at me, his blue eyes dark. “Ivy, you woke me up. I thought I was living each day to the fullest but it was bullshit. I was playing a part, being a joker. And I didn’t know it.”

“That’s not an answer.”

He frowns. “You think I’d planned to let you go? That was never going to happen. Yeah, I’m asking sooner because of this. Because it gives me an excuse to do it. Fuck, Ivy, deep down I knew you were it for me from the beginning. Only I’d look crazy if I said it so soon.”

My smile is wobbly. “Not crazy.”

Gray cups my cheeks and presses his forehead against mine. “So say yes.”

“Gray… The first year of marriage is supposed to be the hardest. And that’s without the pressure of caring for a baby. It’s a recipe for disaster.”

“I like a challenge.” Gray gives my shoulders a squeeze. “If anything, I should be worried. You’ve only had one crap experience and then me. Who’s to say you aren’t the one who gets bored?”

“I find that idea laughable. I’m never bored when I’m with you.”

His smile is crooked. “Yeah, well, same here.” Gray leans a little closer, bringing his warmth. “I told you we’d be so f*cking good together. And I’m never wrong about these things.”

I can’t help drawing closer, nipping the clean curve of his jaw. “Know-it-all.”

“You know it,” he murmurs as his mouth chases mine. His kiss is tender.

When he pulls back, we grin at each other. But the shaky, nervous feeling returns, and I take a breath. “But, Gray, marriage? I can barely get past this whole being-knocked-up thing and, hell, I don’t know…”

Gray runs his fingers along the fringe of my bangs. Calming me. “Look, I know it feels like everything is happening too fast. I probably just made it worse. Shit. We don’t have to get married. It’s just I wanted to give this ring to you. To show you what you mean to me. That I have your back. Always.”

Sitting in its little black box, the ring shines, the diamonds clean as ice and winking. Gray glances at it then back to me. “It doesn’t have to be an engagement ring if that scares you. Wear it because we’re together. Wear it because I love you.” He rubs the back of his neck, his skin flushed. “That is if you want to. Hell, I’ve fumbled this whole thing—”

I cup his warm cheeks and kiss him. His lips part on a surprised breath, then he’s kissing me back, deep and needy, his arm wrapping around my waist to haul me close. We’re a bit sloppy, taking and receiving kisses as though we’ve been apart for years.

By the time we calm down, I’m a little dizzy and a lot giddy. My nose touches his, nuzzling. “Maybe we can be engaged to be engaged?”

“As long as we’re together, it can be anything you want.”

“Put it on me.”

Our hands shake only a little as Gray slides the ring on my finger. It’s beautiful. So beautiful my vision blurs, and I blink to clear it.

Gray rests his forehead against mine. “So I didn’t completely f*ck it up?”