The Fourth Friend (DI Jackman & DS Evans #3)(38)

‘Well, I should be getting along now.’ Silas wiped his hands on his trousers and stood up.

‘Thanks for your help, Si. I appreciate it.’

‘I’m always here if you need me.’ He looked intently at Carter. ‘Always.’

Carter touched his shoulder and nodded.

Klink and his master disappeared from sight.

Carter waved across to Laura. ‘Come up and take a look!’

Laura climbed the ladder into the boat and ran a hand over the smooth paintwork. ‘I thought she was going to be a wreck, but she’s beautiful!’

‘She was a wreck when we started.’

‘What an achievement!’

‘It’s just a shame the lads can’t see her.’

Laura nodded.

Carter suddenly frowned. ‘There’s nothing wrong, is there? Only you’ve never been here before.’

‘I had an hour spare, and I thought it was time I checked out what you’ve been up to for so long.’ She looked at the planed and polished wood and gleaming brass fittings. ‘I didn’t expect anything like this.’

‘We did have help, but basically the Eva May was ours. Blood, sweat and tears.’

‘I think you should contact some marine heritage group. This should be seen, and maybe even used by people who love our island history. I bet she has one hell of a story to tell.’

‘She does. Tom did some research on her life. She was involved in lots of heroic rescues, and many of her crew drowned at one time or another. You wouldn’t believe the kind of seas this little vessel braved in order to rescue others.’

‘I would. I used to live in Northumberland, close to a lifeboat station. I used to pray whenever I saw it go out.’ She looked at him. ‘Why not use it? Maybe for river trips or seal watching, or something like that. It could be a memorial to your friends. What better way to pay tribute to all their hard work?’

He tried to look as if he were considering her suggestion, but he had something else entirely in mind for the Eva May. ‘Want a beer? We have a small fridge on board. All mod cons, you know.’

‘No thanks. I’ve not had lunch yet, and some enthusiastic copper might stop me on the way home.’

Carter pulled a face. ‘I used to think like that too.’ He sat down and patted the seat facing him. ‘Can I ask you something?’

‘Of course.’

‘At the moment I am involved in a case where a young woman is being followed by an amorous admirer. I honestly believe that she is in no real danger, but nevertheless we need to sort it out — especially as it’s the super’s niece.’

Laura listened in silence.

‘The thing is, the others are working the Suzanne Holland disappearance. They are getting nowhere fast, although if anyone can help them, it’s me. But they refuse to let me work with them.’ He leaned towards her. ‘I need to get on that case, Laura.’

‘Need is a very strong word, Carter. Why do you need to be on the case?’

‘For Tom.’ Carter tapped his fingers rapidly on the side of the boat. ‘They have all gone but him. Matt, Ray and Jack, all gone.’

Laura didn’t ask him to explain. After a while, she said, ‘You’ve done something for each of them, and you believe you’ve allowed them to rest. Is that it?’

Carter nodded. ‘Except for Tom, and . . .’ He wanted to cry. He swallowed. ‘The thing is, I know what he wants me to do, and he’ll keep haunting me until I do it.’

‘What does he want?’

‘He hasn’t said it in so many words, but he keeps whispering “Suzanne,” over and over. He wants me to find out what happened to her, I know he does, but I’m not on the case! How can I help him if I’m shut out of the investigation?’

‘Have you spoken to DI Jackman?’

‘And tell him what? That my dead friend won’t get off my back until I’ve tracked down his wife’s abductor, or maybe murderer? How would that sound?’

Laura spoke calmly. ‘Perhaps you could just offer to assist, since you knew Tom Holland so well?’

‘I’ve done that. They don’t say it, but they want me well away from the case. Even Marie was as wary as hell when I broached the subject.’

‘They are trying to protect you, Carter. They don’t want you being overwhelmed with memories from the past. Jackman will want to ease you back into the job, not chuck you straight in at the deep end.’

Carter shook his head. He still felt like crying. ‘I know, but you have no idea how horrible it is, not being able to help.’

Laura smiled gently. ‘You do know that your “seeing” Tom is part of what we call survivor guilt? It’s a common reaction, Carter. When others have tragically died and you have survived, it has a massive impact on you. Many people in similar circumstances try to keep the memory of the deceased alive.’ She leaned a little closer to him. ‘Actually you have devised a brilliant way to move forward, and you did it without anyone’s advice. Lots of therapists recommend finding a way to memorialise the deceased. The way you’ve done it is by helping their loved ones, and that is wonderful. It’s a very positive action, Carter.’

Carter rubbed his eyes. ‘Maybe. But why does he seem so real? And why do I always smell burning?’