The Four Winds(35)

Her handsome, charming, moody husband.

“Hold your head up,” she said out loud.

She had children to think about. Two small people who needed to be comforted in the wake of their father’s betrayal.

Children who would grow up knowing that their father had abandoned them at this tender time.

Children who, like Elsa, would be shaped by heartache.



BY THE TIME ELSA got back to the farm, she felt as if she were a machine slowly breaking down. Her family was in the house, bustling about. Rose and Loreda were in the kitchen, making pasta, and Ant and Tony were in the sitting room, rubbing oil into the straps of a leather harness.

The children’s lives would never be the same after today. Their opinions of everything would change, but especially their opinions of themselves, of the durability of love and the truth of their family. They would know forever that their father hadn’t loved their mother—or them—enough to stay with them through hard times.

What did a good mother do in this circumstance? Did she tell the harsh, ugly truth?

Or was a lie better?

If Elsa lied to protect her children from Rafe’s selfishness and to protect Rafe from their resentment, it might be a long while before the truth came out, if it ever did.

Elsa walked past Tony and Ant in the sitting room and went into the kitchen, where her daughter was working the pasta dough on the flour-dusted table. Elsa squeezed her daughter’s thin shoulder. It was all she could do not to pull her into her arms for a fierce hug, but frankly, Elsa couldn’t handle another rejection right now.

Loreda pulled away. “Where’s Daddy?”

“Yeah,” Ant said from the sitting room, “where is he? I wanna show him the arrowhead Grandpa and I found.”

Rose was at the stove, adding salt to a pot filled with water. She looked at Elsa and turned off the burner.

“Have you been crying?” Loreda asked.

“It’s just watery eyes from all the dust,” Elsa said, forcing a tight smile. “Can you kids go look for potatoes? I need to talk to Grandma and Grandpa.”

“Now?” Loreda whined. “I hate doing that.”

“Now,” Elsa said. “Take your brother.”

“Come on, Ant,” Loreda said, pushing the dough away from her, “let’s go root through the dirt like pigs.”

Ant giggled. “I like bein’ a pig.”

“You would.”

The kids shuffled out of the house and banged the door shut behind them.

Rose stared at Elsa. “You’re scaring me.”

Elsa headed into the sitting room, went straight to Tony’s bottle of rye, and poured herself a drink.

It tasted awful enough that she poured a second one and drank that, too.

“Madonna mia,” Rose said quietly. “I have never seen you take one drink in all these years, and now you take two.”

Rose came up behind Elsa, put a hand on her shoulder.

“Elsa,” Tony said, putting the harness aside and standing up. “What is it?”

“It’s Rafe.”

“Rafe?” Rose frowned.

“He left,” Elsa said.

“Rafe left?” Tony said. “To go where?”

“He left,” Elsa said tiredly.

“Back to that damn tavern?” Tony said. “I told him—”

“No,” Elsa said. “He left Lonesome Tree. On a train. Or so I’m told.”

Rose stared at Elsa. “He left? No. He wouldn’t do that. I know he’s unhappy, but . . .”

“For God’s sake, Rose,” Tony said. “We are all unhappy. Dirt is raining from the sky. The trees are falling over dead. Animals are dying. We’re all unhappy.”

“He wanted to go to California,” Elsa said. “I said no. It was a mistake. I was going to talk to him about it, but . . .” She pulled the letter out of her pocket and handed it to them.

Rose took it in trembling hands and read it, her lips moving silently over the words. Tears filled her eyes when she looked up.

“Son of a bitch,” Tony said, crumpling the letter. “That’s what comes of coddling the boy.”

Rose looked stricken. “He’ll be back,” she said.

The three of them stared at each other. Absence could fill a room to overflowing, apparently.

The front door banged opened. Loreda and Ant came back with dirty hands and dirty faces and three small potatoes between them.

“It’s barely any use.” Loreda stopped. “What’s wrong? Who died?”

Elsa set down her glass. “I need to talk to you two.”

Rose put a hand over her mouth; Elsa understood. Saying these words aloud would change the children’s lives.

Rose pulled Elsa into a tight hug, then let her go.

Elsa turned to face the children.

Their faces unraveled her. Both of them were such spitting images of their father. She went to them, pulled them into her arms, both at once. Ant happily hugged her back. Loreda struggled to break free.

“You’re smothering me,” Loreda complained.

Elsa let Loreda go.

“Where’s Daddy?” Ant asked.

Elsa smoothed her son’s hair back from his freckled face. “Come with me.” She led them out onto the porch, where they all sat on the porch swing. Elsa pulled Ant onto her lap to make room.