The Fandom(57)

He laughs, his chest vibrating beneath my ear. ‘No we didn’t, we looked awful, like a copy of a copy. We all look the same, us Gems, I get so bored of looking at us.’

‘You should mix with us Imps a bit more, you know, slum it.’

‘Is that an invite?’

‘Yeah, any time you fancy hanging out at the Imphut, just let me know.’

We stop revolving and he holds me away from his body so I can really take in the beauty of his face – so perfect, it’s almost bland.

‘Alice was quite charming,’ he says. ‘But she said a few things that really made me . . .’ I get this twinge in my stomach, anticipating the stab of further betrayal. But he chuckles softly to himself and says, ‘. . . miss you.’

The betrayal thins in my veins. ‘Like what?’

‘Oh you know, she said something about intrigue being at the core of attraction and, of course, I thought of you. I know I said I loved the way you were so free, but I also love the way you can be so, so . . . awkward, and real. You’re such a strange combination, you really fascinate me.’ He pauses. ‘You remind me of what it is to be human.’

This really makes me smile. Not just because he uses the word human, an old-fashioned term never used in the world of The Gallows Dance, as it implies the Imps and Gems belong to one species, but also because he likes me. Violet. The branches slapping my face, the hair in my mouth, he finds it fascinating.

He takes both my hands in his. ‘And then Alice said something really beautiful. She said that you could spend your whole life wandering the earth and never find that one person who makes you feel complete. So if you ever meet that person, you should cling to them with both hands and never let them go.’ He pulls my hands into his chest and smiles.

The quote from the book. Alice was helping me all along. I feel like a maple seed, spinning and floating through the sky. The betrayal disperses completely, replaced by pure love for my best friend.

‘Rose?’ he says.

I shake my head. ‘Sorry, yes. Never let them go.’ I take a deep breath. It’s time to seal the deal – to get the canon back on track and go home. I smile into his beautiful face and say, ‘It’s like we were born to . . .’ and as if to prove the point, he joins in, and we utter the same words, ‘. . . slot together.’

My mind reels back to earlier this evening. How Ash and I fitted so perfectly together, beneath the silver birch, curled up in the grass. But I order my brain to stay on track, to stay in the moment. I stare into Willow’s eyes and notice how bright they look against the watery, morning sky. He studies my face, tracing a line from the corner of my mouth to my cheekbone with his index finger.

Then finally, he kisses me.

We kiss for a long time, neither of us pulling away. I love the scent of his skin, the pressure of his lips, the gentle flick of his tongue against mine. It’s a perfect kiss, not a gherkin in sight. But I don’t feel moved. I no longer spin like a maple seed. It just isn’t how I’d imagined it all those times sat on the sofa, dreaming it was me in his arms. Maybe my expectation was just too high – he is, after all, only human. Genetically tweaked, but still just a man.

Eventually, the kiss comes to a natural end. He stands tall and smiles down at me. I ignore that nagging, disappointed feeling and tell myself I’m only doing this to go home. I’m about to kiss him goodbye, when a slight movement draws my attention. In the elm trees on the horizon, peering at us through the leaves.

The palest blue eyes I’ve ever seen.





I spend the rest of the morning looking for Ash. I scour the estate while the sun lights up the sky all orange and pink, this burning sensation growing in my chest. I finally give up and return to the Imp-hut, the contents of my head turned to pulp.

I push through the door, amazed by how heavy it feels. Nate sits at the table drinking tea next to Matthew. I notice with a pang of jealousy that they’re playing cards.

‘Well?’ Nate says, his face a real mixture of excitement and fear, like he’s just sneaked a horror film past Mum.

‘Nailed it.’ I try to look happy, but I think of Ash’s face peering from the leaves and I just feel like crying.

I roll on to my bunk, let the cotton divider separate me from the world, and I pray for the numbness of sleep. But Nate ducks under the makeshift curtain, his sandy head bobbing into view. He speaks quietly so Matthew won’t hear, but an unfamiliar sharpness hardens his voice. ‘You’ve just pulled Willow . . . why do you look like someone’s died?’

I exhale heavily. ‘It’s just, I don’t know . . . Ash saw.’

‘Saw what?’

‘Me – pulling Willow.’

‘So?’

I cover my eyes with my hands, secretly wishing Katie were here, even Alice. You can’t really talk girl-stuff with your little brother. But right now, he’s my only option. ‘So . . . it felt weird.’

‘Violet, Ash is just some little dweeb who follows you around looking lost and in love. Remember that.’

‘No, you’re thinking of Ash from canon. My Ash is completely different.’

‘Since when was he your Ash?’

‘You know what I mean, this Ash, real Ash.’ I roll on to my front so I can see Nate better. It feels like we’re in a tent, the light sifting through the dirty white divider, contained and safe in our own little pod. ‘He’s so different from canon-Ash, he’s funny and edgy and not in the least bit lost . . . He delivers babies in his spare time.’ Nate opens his mouth to object, but I keep on talking. ‘But you know, part of me wonders if he’s different because I’m so different from Rose, maybe he can be himself with me, maybe I bring out a different side to him, a better side to him. Maybe we’ve just got that thing, you know, that connection.’