The Family Next Door(61)
“What the heck,” she said. “Let’s order in. And let’s get ice cream too.”
The boys whooped, and Ange chose not to take it personally. They wanted their father, she understood that. Of course she understood.
She wanted him too.
44
ESSIE
Essie watched her mum in the corner of her hospital room, thumbing through a magazine. A cup of tea sat on the table beside her, her third in an hour. Only Essie’s mother could drink tea in this heat. She’d arrived a little while ago with an armful of books, a lemon tart from Essie’s favorite café, and a photo of Mia in a frame. (Essie hadn’t printed or framed any photos of Polly yet. More proof she was a terrible mother and she had had another postpartum episode.)
Essie glanced at the photo of Mia on her bedside table. It was a preschool picture, and she was doing that peculiar wince she always did when she knew she was having her picture taken. (Ben did the exact same wince in photos—her mum had said it had all but ruined their wedding pictures, but Essie thought it was adorable—on Ben and Mia.) Mia’s nose was wrinkled (she had Essie’s nose—small and ever-so-slightly turned up at the end) and her large forehead (lots of brains, everyone always said) was furrowed. Essie looked at her mother, who carried on reading, oblivious. Her mum had a strong, straight Roman nose. She had a smallish forehead and unremarkable chin. There wasn’t much of a resemblance, Essie noticed, perhaps for the first time. No resemblance at all, actually.
Her mum must have felt her gaze, because at that moment, she looked up from her magazine. “Are you all right, honey? Do you need anything? A cup of tea?”
“Actually I wondered if you could tell me about my birth.”
Her mum blinked, then flicked her magazine closed. “Well,” she said. “This is out of the blue.”
Essie rolled onto her side, propping her chin in her hand. She was, for reasons that weren’t quite clear to her, trying to act nonchalant. “There’s not much else to do around here, is there?”
“Yes, I suppose that’s true.” Barbara uncrossed and recrossed her legs. “Okay, let’s see. I think I’ve told you it all. It was long. And painful.” She smiled. “But all worth it, in the end.”
“And … the moment they handed me to you?” Essie concentrated on speaking in a slow, offhand manner. “What was that moment like?”
“I guess … honestly, honey, I don’t really remember. I was so tired at that point. I’m sure I was delighted.”
“Surely you remember?” Essie pressed. “That first moment with your child?”
Her mum’s eyes focused in the middle distance, searching for the memory. But how could she not know? Essie had been exhausted after giving birth to Mia and Polly. She had felt like she might die from the exhaustion. But she still remembered Mia’s cross little face—so disturbed from being ejected from her comfortable resting place. And Polly—she was so calm and alert it was almost as if she’d rested up for the big day and it was exactly as she’d expected. Essie could have described every fold in each of their faces during their first moments together. Then again, their births weren’t thirty years ago.
Barbara’s gaze darted back and forth like she was scanning the insides of her brain. “I … you were … quiet, as I recall. A serious baby. You had … very long fingers. Piano-playing fingers. I said that to someone, I think. ‘She’ll have a career as a concert pianist.’”
Essie smiled. A concert pianist. She felt a wave of relief. Of course her mum remembered her birth. Because she was her mum. Isabelle’s theory was nothing more than just that … a theory.
Her mum smiled and reopened her magazine. Essie glanced down at her fingers, admiringly and that’s when she noticed they weren’t particularly long at all.
*
An hour or so after her mum had left, Essie reached for her iPad. She had several messages waiting for her—from Ange, from Fran. Several from Isabelle. She ignored them all. Instead she opened up Google. She hesitated a second, then typed in GENETIC SEXUAL ATTRACTION.
Genetic sexual attraction (GSA) is sexual attraction between close relatives, such as siblings or half-siblings, a parent and offspring, or first and second cousins, who first meet as adults.
Essie shuddered. The idea was just so … sickening. Before she knew it, she was clicking on another link.
The phenomenon of genetic sexual attraction is sexual attraction between two close relatives. It’s believed to be triggered when two family members are estranged early in life. Failing to form the family bonds which create a natural taboo around sexual bonding, they risk interpreting intense familiarity as sexual attraction.
Barbara Gonyo coined the term in 1980. She reported feeling overwhelmingly attracted to her own estranged son upon meeting him later in life. However, her son’s unresponsiveness towards her attraction meant she never acted on it. Known as GSA, genetic sexual attraction is reported in a full 50 percent of reunion cases between related adults separated in their early years.
Essie closed down the browser quickly and put down the iPad. It was interesting enough, in a really creepy way, but it was of no relevance to her. She wasn’t actually entertaining the idea that Isabelle could be her sister. She refused to believe that her mother would have snatched her. Her mother was the most honest, upstanding citizen she knew. She wouldn’t so much as park in a No-Standing Zone, let alone steal a baby! No. It was ridiculous.