The Fall Up (The Fall Up, #1)(28)
“I wasn’t going to jump!” I yelled for what felt like the millionth time, but when it cleared my lips, I realized it was the best lie I’d ever told.
Even I believed it.
Sam hadn’t though.
Deep down, I’d seriously considered it. More times than I should have.
Daily.
My legs began to tremble, but they never even had a chance to give out before I was caught by Devon’s embrace.
“Shh. I gotcha,” he whispered into my hair. “Always, Levee.”
“I, um… I think… I need”—Sam—“help.”
“Then we’ll get it.”
Shit.
IT’D BEEN ANOTHER sleepless night for me. After some huge guy I assumed was another bodyguard drove me home, I’d sat on my porch with Sampson at my side and watched the sun rise. I was starting to feel like I’d never get a full night of sleep again. It didn’t take long for me to regret having stormed out on Levee. She had problems, and I had done the one thing I’d sworn I’d never do again after Anne died—I’d walked away. But f*ck, her explosive rant had cut me deep.
That’s not completely true though.
Anne had cut me deep.
Levee had unwittingly rubbed salt in the already-gaping wound.
I needed to apologize. She didn’t deserve that shit. If I went back over there, I could probably make her understand my over-the-top reaction.
But that was the last thing I really needed.
I had absolutely no business trying to pursue something with her. We came from different worlds—and only part of that had anything to do with her being famous. Hell, that was the easy part. We were both so filled with pain. Only she was determined to escape it, while I physically ached to stop her. We’d be a f*cking train wreck together.
But that woman…
It’d only been a week and we’d only spent one night together, but, God, she’d felt like the great I’d always been searching for. Who cared if she had issues I would probably always stress about?
Oh, right. Me.
But, when we were together, it was easy to forget how we’d met. It was easy to get lost in her whiskey eyes and her contagious smile.
Her lithe body and her smooth, white skin.
Her soft breasts and her tight…
Damn it.
I desperately needed someone to talk to about her. But since Levee was such a public figure it made it tricky. I couldn’t air her bullshit like she so obviously already thought I was going to do. My mom was still struggling with Anne’s death. I couldn’t bring this kind of drama up without upsetting her. She was just starting to get it back together.
I had one choice…
So, at nine a.m., I grabbed my wallet and headed out the door.
“Dude, what the hell are you doing up here?” Ryan asked when I walked into his office, closing the door behind me.
“I just hired you. I f*cked up last night and I need to talk, but you can’t say a word to anyone.”
“What. Did. You. Do?” he said very slowly, pushing away from his desk and rising to his feet.
“By the way, I really wish I’d known you charged four hundred dollars an hour before I paid Jen for your time. Fucking hell, man.”
He cocked an angry eyebrow. “One, stay the f*ck away from Jen. Two, we’re best friends! You didn’t have to pay for my time, *.”
“Yeah, I know, but I needed attorney-client privilege for what I’m about to tell you.”
“Fuck, Sam. This does not sound good.” He pinched the bridge of his nose as he perched on the edge of his desk, and then motioned for me to spill it.
“I’ve been kinda seeing Levee Williams, and last night, I slept with her,” I rushed out.
His head snapped up. “Levee Williams, the singer?”
I quickly nodded.
“No shit?” he breathed. A grin spread across his face, but just as quickly, his eyes grew wide. “Oh, Jesus, did you hurt her? Is she trying to claim you forced yourself on her?”
“What? No!” I shouted, jumping to my feet.
“Then what the f*ck did you do that you suddenly need a criminal defense attorney?”
“Nothing! I just wanted to talk to you without worrying that you’re gonna run your big-ass mouth. For f*ck’s sake, Ryan! The first thing you assume is that I assaulted her?”
“I didn’t think you necessarily assaulted her,” he scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest and shrugging. “Maybe she didn’t like the bionic cock? You never know.”
I laughed without humor. “Don’t be ridiculous. Everyone likes that.”
“Including Levee Williams?” He smirked.
“Come on, jerkoff. Act like a professional.”
“Fine. I’ll ask that when we aren’t on your dime.” He walked back around his desk and, very businesslike, sat in his chair. ”Now, Mr. Rivers. What can I do for you today?”
I sucked in a deep breath and settled back in my chair. “I met her on the bridge about a week ago.”
He lowered his voice and mumbled a curse. “You have to stop going up there and torturing yourself.”
I waved him off. I didn’t need a lecture. I needed someone to tell me that I was insane for wanting to be with Levee. Then I needed someone to convince my body that it was insane, too, because all I really wanted to do was run back up that hill and lose myself inside her again.