The Electric Woman: A Memoir in Death-Defying Acts(45)

*

“What are your days like?” Davy asks on the phone. It’s hard to know how to answer, how much detail to give.

“We get up, and perform all day, and then go to bed,” I tell him. “It’s fun,” I add, to make sure they aren’t worried for me.

“Sounds fun,” he says.

What I don’t say is:

8:00 a.m.: Wake up.

8:10 a.m.: Walk through the fair to the bathrooms, hope they are open. Squeeze in a shower, if you can, or just brush teeth/wash your face/wash out tights or underwear to wear the next day if you didn’t manage to do it the night before.

8:20 a.m.: Eat breakfast. If you are the first one up, you have first dibs on the mini-coffeepot. Fill the filter with a few scoops from the Folger’s can in your room, pour bottled water into the trough. If you aren’t the first one up, wait until the coffee is poured into someone’s mug or soda cup, or barter: one cup of theirs for one of yours, later.

8:30 a.m.: Hoist the show’s banners, set the props on inside stages, open the mummy cases and turn all the spotlights on, set up the electrical system on the bally stage, test the sound, test the lights, count out change for the ticket man.

8:50 a.m.: Get into costume. Fix your hair like a showgirl. Full makeup. Do this all in the dirty back end of a truck.

9:30 a.m.: Set props on bally stage, make last-minute run to bathroom, count out change if you talk a ding, one of the extra moneymakers inside the show. Ready your individual props.

10:00 a.m.: Open the show.

10:02 a.m.: On the bally stage, hold the snake.

10:09 a.m.: Turn one dollar into a five.

10:18: Turn one dollar into a five.

10:33: Turn one dollar into a five.

10:37: Escape from handcuffs.

10:44: Escape from handcuffs.

10:50: Escape from handcuffs.

10:59: Escape from handcuffs.

11:02 a.m.: Tommy leaves bally stage, Cassie comes onto bally stage, begins talking.

11:03: Escape from handcuffs.

11:12: Escape from handcuffs.

11:23: Escape from handcuffs.

11:34: Hold the snake. Try to hypnotize passersby.

11:49: Escape from handcuffs.

11:58: Escape from handcuffs.

12:00: Cassie leaves bally stage, Tommy comes onto bally stage, begins talking.

12:04: Escape from handcuffs.

Etc.

1:30 p.m.: Break. Walk around the tent, up the steps, and into the trailer. Lie on your bunk in the dark room and massage your feet. Eat a granola bar.

1:45 p.m.: Escape from handcuffs on the bally stage.

Details: Do this all while standing in high heels on a wooden stage set atop the asphalt midway. The sun will not be so bad in the morning, but as you stand there for an hour, two, four, eight, twelve, the sun will burn your skin despite the sunblock—there’s never enough to last as long as you’ll be out there—and you will sweat and sweat into your corset, down your dress. You are standing onstage, and so you are always displaying yourself as if someone should look at you.

1:52 p.m.: Escape from handcuffs.

1:59 p.m.: Escape from handcuffs.

Details: Listen to the bally, don’t listen to the bally. Know not whether you are listening to the bally or whether the sound track of the bally is just looping in your unconscious. Watch people walk by. Pay attention to their outfits. Count the number of jumbo stuffed prizes. Be surprised by the number of jumbo stuffed prizes. Play games with strangers. They won’t know you’re playing. Look at one as he passes and try to telepathically convince him to buy a ticket. Fail. Fail better.

Etc.

Etc.

Etc.

4:30 p.m.: Break. Walk off the stage, down the midway to the bathrooms. Back to the trailer. Eat a sandwich.

5:00 p.m.: Escape from handcuffs.

Etc.

8:15 p.m.: Light up your torches and eat fire.

8:28 p.m.: Light up your torches and eat fire.

8:33 p.m.: Flirt with man in front row who won’t look away.

8:48 p.m.: Light up your torches and eat fire.

8:49 p.m.: Massage cheeks for ten seconds because they ache from smiling.

8:52 p.m.: Light up your torches and eat fire.

9:00 p.m.: Light up your torches and eat fire.

9:14 p.m.: Light up your torches and eat fire.

9:15 p.m.: Vow to eat fire better than you ever have before, because the turns are too small tonight and you know you need more bodies in the tent.

9:16 p.m.: Wink to a group of teenagers out front who aren’t sure whether they want to come in.

9:21 p.m.: Light up your torches and eat fire.

9:24 p.m.: Wave to the same group of teenagers who didn’t come in.

9:29 p.m.: Light up your torches and eat fire.

9:41 p.m.: Light up your torches and eat fire.

9:48 p.m.: Light up your torches and eat fire.

9:57 p.m.: Light up your torches and eat fire.

9:59 p.m.: Beckon the leader of the group of teenagers over and light your fingers on fire just for him. Watch him buy a ticket. Watch the others follow.

10:00 p.m.: Watch talkers switch places.

10:07 p.m.: Light up your torches and eat fire.

10:15 p.m.: Light up your torches and eat fire.

10:20 p.m.: Remember that you have forgotten to drink water for a few hours and wonder whether your headache is from dehydration or gas fumes. Chug water.

10:22 p.m.: Light up your torches and eat fire.

10:36 p.m.: Light up your torches and eat fire.