The Deepest Blue(88)

“Lanei! How could you listen to her? She tried to kill you! Plus, she’s not even an heir! She can’t be queen.” Mayara wanted to scream in Palia’s face. It was utterly illogical and idiotic—a queen could be crowned only in a grove, and Lanei was back on Akena Island fending off the Silent Ones and the spirits. She hadn’t even escaped, had she?

“She’s trying to save the future spirit sisters of Belene, which includes my daughter,” Palia said. “She’s willing to sacrifice for the greater good. How can I do less?”

“Easily!” Mayara shouted. “It’s very easy not to stab the queen!” How could Palia do such a thing? I know her! She’s not . . . But what did she really know about Palia? All she really knew was Palia loved her daughter and would do anything for her. Anything. “How could you put your trust in Lanei? Over the queen? Over us?”

“Everything Lanei has done has been to end the test. What about Queen Asana? What has she ever done to save any of us? She’s sat by while spirit sisters died. Everyone in the last group of spirit sisters died, and she did nothing. Just sent more of us to die. I can’t risk that happening to my child.”

“Why blame Queen Asana? You heard Roe! It’s the Families who are to blame. Lord Maarte and those like him! They took Queen Asana’s family, threatened their safety.”

“And Queen Asana wasn’t willing to sacrifice them for the good of Belene,” Palia said stubbornly and sadly. Mayara remembered how she’d seen Lanei whispering to Palia—she hadn’t imagined this is what she’d been saying or that Palia would be so weak and fearful as to listen. “Lanei will sacrifice anyone and everything. She’ll end the test permanently. Queen Asana couldn’t do that. Look at her and Roe. Queen Asana would sacrifice us all for her.”

From across the sand, by the prone body, there was shouting. She felt Kelo’s arms close protectively around her, pulling her back from Palia. The soldiers had reached the sand. And we’re with a dying queen.

ASANA KNEW WHAT IT FELT LIKE TO BE SUBMERGED IN WATER, HELD down until your lungs burned and your thoughts fractured. This felt like that. She tried to focus on her daughter’s face, but it blurred in front of her. Roe’s voice sounded distant, wobbly.

She heard others talking about a woman who wasn’t an heir who was to become queen, if she understood correctly. That’s not possible. There’s always a trained heir in the grove, ready in case the queen falls. She tried to sift through their words, to think like a queen and handle her responsibilities. But Roe was weeping. . . .

“Mother, I just found you,” Roe was saying. “Don’t leave me again.”

“Oh, my sweet girl,” Asana whispered. “I never left. My heart was with you, always.” She tried to think of what she could say, wise and true, that Roe would be able to treasure. Something to fix this. There had to be words she could find.

She’d never been a great orator. Every speech she’d ever given was written by one of her chancellors or a representative of the Families. Her audiences had cheered because of the crown she wore, not because of what she said or who she was.

Lady Garnah was beside her, swearing colorfully, which made Asana smile. And then she coughed, which hurt. “You’re going to die,” Garnah said bluntly. “My potions can clean a thousand poisons from your blood, but this . . . I can’t heal you, Your Majesty. You’d better say what you want to say.”

What do I want to say?

I want to be sure Roe lives. And if the leviathans wake . . .

She could suffer through the pain a little longer to tell them what they’d need to know to live.

“I wasn’t a very good queen,” Asana said. “But I kept the leviathans asleep. The next queen must be a trained heir, or the leviathans will wake. They’re restless already, and they’ll feel my death. When the spirits on Belene are released with my death . . . the leviathans will wake with them. The new queen must send her thoughts to the Deepest Blue. This woman, the non-heir—she won’t know how to do that. The Deepest Blue . . . She must send her mind to the Deepest Blue.”

“We’ll tell her,” another woman promised—Asana didn’t know who she was, but this must be Kelo’s wife. He was clinging to her like a barnacle. At least I brought someone joy. That was nice. He was a nice boy.

“Where is the Deepest Blue?” Roe asked.

“To find it . . . follow the dreams.”

“Mother, that doesn’t make sense. Please . . . don’t . . .” She choked on her last word.

“Die.” That’s the word my Roe won’t say. Asana wanted to tell her that it would be all right. She’d gotten to see Roe, and that was a wonderful gift. Her Roe, all grown and beautiful and strong and clever and kind. She’d escaped the island and come here—Asana wanted to tell her how proud she was and how sorry.

She felt a prick in her side. Energy rushed through her, and her muscles tensed and twitched, her legs spasming.

“What did you do to her?” Roe cried.

Ignoring Roe, Garnah said to Asana, “This won’t fix you, but you should feel more awake. Talk fast.”

Pain came with being awake. She wanted to sink into it, make it stop. “The monsters dream of the beginning of the world. They must be convinced those dreams are real. Only then will they sleep and not destroy everyone and everything. You must tell the new queen that. She must trick them into believing that time hasn’t moved on, the Great Mother never died, and humans were never born. Or everything . . . everyone . . .”