The Deepest Blue(75)

It hurt to reach so far. She felt as if she were fraying.

The leviathans slept fitfully, in dreams that were drenched in ancient memories of the birth of the world. They’d been there when the Great Mother had called for the creation of the land and the sea. They’d reveled in her boundless love, and their rage when she’d died had been immense and unquenchable. It was that old rage that drove them still, churning the waters while they slept.

All heirs, after they completed their testing, were taught how to subdue the sleeping monsters. You had to guide their dreams: keep them remembering the days when the Great Mother ruled all, before humans arrived, when spirits created beauty and didn’t know death.

It was remembering death that woke them.

If you could pull their dreams back far enough away from that cliff, they’d continue to slumber. Guiding the dreams of spirits was a trick that any heir could do, but only a queen had the power, drawn from all the spirits who were bound to her, to reach so far and influence such old, powerful minds.

When she finished, she drew herself back, feeling as if she were pulling in a mile-long strand of seaweed that snagged on rocks and coral. She had to pull carefully so that it didn’t tear.

It was so tempting to let her mind flow free, mixing with the water, losing herself in the chaotic swirl of the countless numbers of wild spirits who lived beyond the borders of the known world. But if she did, she might truly lose herself.

She couldn’t risk that.

She thought of Rokalara once more, who was waiting for her to someday return. She’d promised they’d be together again, knowing it was a promise she might never fulfill. Queens stayed queens until they died.

Unless Garnah and Kelo succeed.

That thought jerked her back to her body so hard that it felt as if she’d fallen. She felt aching and bruised. It’s getting harder and harder.

What was she going to do if it got too hard to withstand?

“I’ll die then, I suppose,” she said out loud.

A voice behind her said, “I’d prefer you didn’t, my queen.”

She turned, wincing, to see Lady Garnah had entered the room. She wondered how long she’d been there.

Asana thumped the heels of her palms on her thighs, trying to remind her blood to circulate. As she understood it, her whole body slowed when her mind wandered that far. She kept breathing, and her heart kept beating, but it was sluggish. She’d had a healer watch over her once, at the beginning, and he’d remarked that her mind-travel was not so different from what he’d seen in dying patients. Her body was empty, and so it began to shut down.

It was all rather horrible.

But necessary.

“I’m surprised the guards let you in,” Asana said. She didn’t try to stand. She knew her legs wouldn’t be functioning properly yet. Her guards were under orders to keep everyone out while she communed with the spirits of the Deepest Blue.

“They didn’t want to, but I convinced them,” Garnah said, then flashed her usual delighted-with-the-world smile. Asana wondered what it would be like to go through life like her, without concerns weighing her down. “They’ll wake up in a few hours, feel guilty for napping on the job, and be none the worse for wear. It’s a delightful powder. Also useful if you’re having trouble sleeping at night. You wake up so refreshed!”

Looking at Garnah’s oh-so-pleased-with-herself expression, Asana allowed a hint of hope to creep in. “Either your attempt was a success or a failure. You wouldn’t be here unsummoned otherwise.”

“It was educational,” Garnah said.

Asana stretched her fingers and shook them as feeling began to return to her extremities. Her heart was already beating faster. Don’t get your hopes up. Don’t start believing. Wait to hear what she says. “Oh? It was?”

“And entertaining.”

“Out with it.”

Garnah pouted. “I was going to lead up to the dramatic reveal. You’re ruining my timing.” But then she took one look at the expression on Asana’s face and said quickly, “The Family Neran. Your parents and daughter are in the Neran Stronghold on the island of Olaku.”

Asana felt as if she’d been shoved underwater. It was hard to breathe, and her lungs felt as if they were being crushed from the pressure. Lord Maarte. “Are you certain?”

Garnah turned serious. “Absolutely. Our informant was . . . informative.”

She wasn’t going to let herself rejoice until she was certain all was well. “Did you endanger my family? Does the Family Neran know that I know? Can you be certain your informant won’t tell anyone that he told you?”

Garnah smiled again, and this time it was a predator’s smile, all teeth and no humor. “He won’t tell anyone anything.”

“Please tell me you didn’t kill him,” Asana said. Her heart sank. She knew it was too good to be true that this would go smoothly. “If there’s a death, there will be suspicion. The Family Neran may react. They could move my family. Or retaliate—”

“I didn’t kill him,” Garnah said. “Great Mother, I wish one day someone would just understand that I know what I’m doing,” she complained, mostly to herself. Louder: “To be honest, it was my first choice. Death is so much neater than other options, but your good little artist boy wouldn’t have it.”