The Deepest Blue(69)

“I couldn’t have hidden all of you,” Lanei said. “That never would have worked.”

“So your solution was to let people die slowly and horrifically from starvation or dehydration if they weren’t found, tortured, and killed by spirits? That’s cruel!”

“How do you propose to change the world?” Lanei challenged. “You want to ask your mommy nicely to alter hundreds of years of tradition? She’s been so badly suckered in by the myth of the Deepest Blue—believing the worst problems of Belene lie out in the ocean, when they’re all here on our shores.”

But that was the thing: Mayara had never wanted to change the world. She just wanted to survive long enough to return to Kelo. As she saw it, there were only two outcomes to this test: win (and leave this nightmare) or lose (and die). Mayara didn’t like the idea of losing. In fact, she was adamantly opposed to it. And Lanei was just as adamantly opposed to any of them winning.

Roe and Lanei began arguing, with Roe saying killing the innocent was never a solution to anything, and Lanei saying she was merely hastening the inevitable.

“Our deaths are not inevitable,” Roe said. “You didn’t die yet. Why do you think we’re doomed? We survived this long. Admittedly, it hasn’t been pleasant, and I would trade my right arm for a bath with soap, but day by day, we’re surviving. And maybe others are too.”

Palia chimed in. “How many others are left?”

“Besides you three?” Lanei said. “I don’t know.”

“Then there could be others surviving too!” Roe said.

“So what if there are? What happens next? You all go out and fight for the queen? How long will you survive that?” Lanei asked. “Do you know how few heirs ever make it past thirty? Surviving here isn’t a guarantee to a long life. Heirs are lost in every wild spirit storm. They’re lost in storms we don’t even know about that never make it to shore. The queen uses those losses as an excuse for the atrocities of the test—because the battle after is so tough, it can only be fought by the best. But why not just train all of us to fight? Select a few to be actual successors, but leave the rest of us alive to defend our homes. No more dying on Akena. No more Silent Ones. All of us trained to fight side by side.”

Palia looked impressed. “You have plans.”

“Yeah, murderous plans!” Roe said.

Lanei smiled. “Think how effective it will be when Queen Asana learns that her adherence to tradition has resulted in the death of her daughter. She will cancel the test. Hundreds will be saved, and the world will change!”

And this conversation just took a turn for the worse, Mayara thought.

Gripping her glass knife, Roe jumped to her feet.

“Wait,” Palia said. “We all want the same thing here!”

“I really don’t think we do,” Roe said, eyeing Lanei.

“Palia’s right,” Mayara said. “Sort of. We want the test to end, don’t we? But we also don’t want to die if it can possibly be avoided. Can we all agree on that much?”

Roe didn’t lower her knife as she nodded. Lanei was still smiling creepily, but she also nodded. She seemed unnaturally calm, as if she thought she had control of the situation. On a hunch, Mayara reached out with her mind, scanning the nearby tunnels for spirits, but she felt nothing. So far, they were safe. Just a nice, safe, calm conversation about our own murders.

“Future generations should not have to live like this,” Palia said. “Our daughters . . . shouldn’t have to fear their future. Lanei’s goals are worthy.”

Lanei beamed at her as if the older woman were a child who had remembered her manners. “You have to ask yourself: What would you give to end the tests? How far would you go to save those you love? Those are the questions you need to ask. I’d give my life. And yours.”

“The thing is: my life isn’t yours to give,” Mayara said.

“Right. And besides that, how do you know for certain our deaths will end the tests?” Roe asked. “They didn’t stop after all the spirit sisters died last time. Why should it be any different now? I have a much better chance of convincing my mother alive than dead! Everything she does, she does to keep me safe! If I survive the month and become an heir, I can talk to her. Persuade her.”

The three of them continued to argue, but those words echoed inside Mayara. Mayara thought of Kelo and how he’d persuaded her to try to escape from the Silent Ones. I’m asking you to pick a third choice, he’d said. “A third choice,” she said out loud.

The others stopped.

“What was that?” Roe asked.

“We need a third choice. We’re talking as if the choice is survive the test or die. Win or lose. What if there’s a third choice?” Her heart began to beat faster. This felt right. “What if we just don’t play?”

“Cryptic,” Lanei said. “Go on.”

“You say your mother would never do anything to endanger you, right?” Mayara asked Roe. “That’s the whole reason your family was taken. As collateral against her good behavior. A way to control her. So if she found out you were on the island . . .”

“She’d stop the test,” Roe said. “Yes, but there’s no way to get word to her from here. Believe me, I tried for years to reach her from Neran Stronghold—you know, before we were imprisoned on a remote island guarded by Silent Ones and plagued by bloodthirsty spirits—and it was impossible then from there. It’s more impossible now from here.”