The Dark Calling (The Arcana Chronicles #5)(101)

“You? That close to an unpredictable sphere? If you got caught, you’d kill Evie and me. You’re a ticking time bomb, remember?”

“I won’t get caught. I’m too swift.”

“Will speed make a difference? I doan think it’s possible for you to stay away from her no matter what you heard. Think about it: if Lark’s wolves tore into her, you still couldn’t pass that barrier.”

“Remaining away would be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Battle is easy. Facing my demise is easy. Denying my need to protect her would be grueling. But I would summon the strength.” He handed me the bottle.

I tilted it up, then asked, “In past games, has the Empress ever lost herself to the witch? Like permanently?”

“There was no separation between the two, no name for an alter-ego. She was the red witch always. Her hair was forever red, her very eyes green.”

And by all accounts, that was a damned bad state. So what had we dredged up in Jubilee? What might she tap into tomorrow?

The wind gusted again, rocking the dish and sending snow blowing across the ground. I pulled my coat tighter and said, “Evie’s right about one thing. She’s got to get inside that castle.”

“If I’d developed an alternative site, that castle wouldn’t be all-important. I thought I’d anticipated every possible contingency, but I couldn’t. No one could. And now I’ve left my wife and child so vulnerable that I actually have to consider the prospect of letting her take back that stronghold.”

“You never played with the idea of a bolt hole?”

“History told me I had no need. I was raised in a fortification. A strong enough sword meant all was protected. I am the strongest sword alive. So chalk up this failing to arrogance.”

“I was raised in a place that couldn’t be defended, and I learned early that life was unpredictable. So chalk up my wariness to experience.”

“It’s served you well, mortal.”

Kind of what Evie had said about my pre-Flash hardships. Could all my tough luck in the past be a gift in this future? “Say she can take out Paul. What then?” Would they expect me to let them get back to their marriage? When I needed her like I needed my next breath?

“Regrettably, the advantage is all yours, mortal.” He voiced my own thoughts: “You’re the only other male alive who knows what it’s like to covet her like this.”

“I get that you want her back, want your family. But I bowed out before, and you nearly killed her.”

In a strangled tone, he said, “Yes.”

I’d told Evie that if we could trust that Domīnija wouldn’t give in to his rage again, I’d let them get back to it. Which meant I needed to do some digging. “I want to look at this from your point of view, walk a mile in your shoes.”

He stared at the sphere. “A mile in my shoes? I wouldn’t wish that on you.”

I could now see all too clearly what his long life had been like. I had no family left. No close friends. Everyone but Evie had died, and I’d lived on, just as this man had done for two millennia. “How much of your rage was Paul? How much was you? Make me understand what happened.”

“How can I, when I hardly comprehend it myself?”

“You must’ve put some of the past behind you. You two were together and happy, non?”

“I knew she was hurting because of you, but I believed that we could overcome any obstacles. Then I got the news that she was expecting. You can’t understand my shock. For a time, I thought myself the most fortunate man alive.”

“For a time, you were. When I hunted that lion, I saw you through the window. I wondered if you felt what you’d lost. I thought, Would I rather have everything and lose it—or never know that happiness?” Too late for me. I hadn’t had everything, but I’d tasted enough to ruin me.

“Even then, I did feel the loss.” He eyed me. “Astute mortal. Not for the first time, I am reminded of why she fell for you.”

I hated that I enjoyed his praise. But he was a wise immortal, wise even beyond his endless years.

“Yes, I had everything, but then I forfeited all.” He clenched his fists, as if he wanted to punch himself. Or Paul?

“How’d it start?”

“At first, stray thoughts would enter my mind, like an idea with no genesis. Memories of her treachery from long ago would feel more visceral. I began to dwell on our past more than ever before. I know now that Paul was already testing his skills, sowing discord. After activating his full powers, he convinced me that she’d betrayed me again, lying about the baby. I thought she had mesmerized me. And being mind-controlled is as vile a curse as you can imagine.”

“I can imagine a lot.” Under the Hierophant’s control, Evie had nearly become a cannibal.

“In Tarot, my card reversed symbolizes the inability to change—which provides the grounds for resentment to grow. He made me burn with it, as I never have before. Had I once harbored resentment toward her? Yes. But I’d moved past it. I’d grown. It would be like you hating her now because you two had a rocky start.”

“Rocky’s one way to put it.” I turned up the bottle, saying over a gasp, “I considered her a stuck-up bitch.” I’d had no idea what she would come to mean to me, calling her bonne á rien.