The Consuming Fire (The Interdependency #2)(30)
To continue, Naffa Dolg, the emperox’s childhood best friend and first chief of staff, was fucking murdered on the emperox’s coronation day by a bomb that was almost certainly but not yet provably planted by some asshole working for the Nohamapetan siblings, the asshole children of this asshole countess. Whether the countess herself knew about the attempt at the time or not, she certainly knew about it now. Just like she knew the bomb was meant to kill Grayland.
So basically the Countess Nohamapetan was currently saying to the emperox, “I’m proving my loyalty by offering money I don’t have to the charity named for your friend, who my kids accidentally slaughtered when they tried to fucking assassinate you.”
Which struck Kiva as an interesting way to try to win favor with the emperox.
Either the countess was laughably oblivious to the insult she was offering to Grayland, or she was daring the emperox to make something of it. Kiva, remembering both Nadashe and Ghreni Nohamapetan from her college days, doubted that the countess was that oblivious. She might currently look like a glittered chicken, but she wasn’t stupid.
So this had to be a test of some sort or another, one that the countess thought she was administering to the emperox. To see if Grayland was oblivious, perhaps. Or to see how the emperox would react to what amounted to a bald-faced slap against her and her beloved friend. Or maybe the countess just wanted to see what she could get away with, and what the emperox was willing to take from her. Or maybe she just thought Grayland was a fucking idiot.
Kiva glanced over to Fundapellonan, whose face was pleasantly blank. Kiva wondered briefly whether her recent lover might have suggested this particular course of action to her countess. She doubted it. Fundapellonan didn’t seem to have the sufficient level of gutstabbery in her soul to pull a stunt like this. Kiva’s eyes went back to Grayland, who took this all in and processed it.
Go on, Kiva thought. Fucking ask me about this.
“Your pledge moves us, Countess,” Grayland said. “It is a reflection of the quality of your soul, and we are glad to know it.”
And then, after that absolute fucking masterpiece of saying, Oh, I see you, bitch, and making it sound like a compliment, the emperox turned her attention to Kiva. “We wonder what Lady Kiva, as the countess’s in-system director, has to say regarding this remarkable offer.”
Watch this, Kiva thought, and began. “No doubt the countess has the best of intentions, Your Majesty, but I regret to say that this year our in-system profits will be close to zero.”
Grayland blinked at this. “And why is that, Lady Kiva?”
“Widespread graft, ma’am. I instituted an audit when you asked me to supervise the in-system businesses of the Nohamapetans, and we have uncovered substantial business discrepancies, all of which will affect revenues and profits. We are still uncovering them. It will take months to get a full account, and meanwhile we are in a position of having to deal with make-goods with our customers, as well as fines and penalties which will be assessed by your own Ministry of Revenue.”
“This is unhappy news,” Grayland said.
“I can have a full report sent to you, if you would like,” Kiva said, helpfully. “It has already been sent to the Ministry of Revenue.”
“Thank you, Lady Kiva. We would like that very much.”
“And if I may,” Kiva continued, “I can offer you a solution to this unfortunate problem.”
“We are listening.”
“No doubt the countess had no intention of offering you nothing when she offered you this year’s in-system profits, Your Majesty. Her own accountants were misled and deceived, and as she is newly arrived in-system, I have not had an opportunity to get her or her people up to speed on the financial affairs of the local business. This is almost certainly an innocent mistake. And truth be told, if the graft were not as endemic and widespread as it is, the House of Nohamapetan would be having a banner year, profit-wise.”
“What do you suggest, Lady Kiva?” Grayland asked.
“Simple, Your Majesty. I will have my accountants provide you an amount that represents the sum of local profits for the last twelve months, without the graft and penalties. The countess may then present to the Naffa Dolg Foundation a donation of that sum, from the House of Nohamapetan general coffers. Everyone wins.”
Grayland nodded and turned back to the Countess Nohamapetan. “If the countess will accept this small emendation to her generous offer, as we are sure she will, then we will be delighted to accept her gracious gesture.”
Suck on that, you duplicitous crab, Kiva thought. The countess thought she was testing Grayland, and it turned out she was the one who got schooled. The emperox had turned her slap of a gift around and shoved her face right into it.
The Countess Nohamapetan allowed herself roughly a second and a half to blink in surprise. And then, “Of course, Your Majesty. It will be exactly so.”
“Wonderful.” Grayland turned to Kiva. “When may we expect that number?”
“I can have it to you tomorrow, Your Majesty.”
“We will expect it then.” Over to the countess again. “And the Naffa Dolg Foundation may expect your contribution quickly after? Within the week?”
“Of course,” the countess said.
Grayland nodded. “You are very lucky to have Lady Kiva as your director, Countess Nohamapetan,” she said. “Aside from her clever solution to this minor problem, her uncovering of the widespread graft and corruption within your organization must be a great relief to you.”