The Complication (The Program #6)(27)

Nathan wipes his face and then blinks quickly, as if the emotional moment passed. He reaches to touch a few bolts in the engine, fidgeting.

“So when I couldn’t get ahold of anyone else, I walked you to the door. And you looked up at me with those sad brown eyes, and . . .” He stops and turns to me.

“What?” I ask.

“I just realized, that was the last moment,” he says. “My last moment with you—the old you.”

The idea is heavy between us, and I look away, feeling like an imposter. The wind kicks up, and above, a brilliant flash of lightning electrifies the sky.

I finish installing the battery, and when I’m done, Nathan takes my grease-streaked hand.

“I sent you out into the darkness,” Nathan says apologetically. “I told you that I loved you and closed the door. And the next day, I went to your house to check on you. But you were gone. Pop pulled me inside, and then he and Gram told me The Program had taken you. They weren’t even sure why. They said you’d been completely fine, which—if I’m being honest—wasn’t true.”

“None of us were fine,” I say.

“Yeah, but you were worse off than most. But that’s not all of it,” he tells me. “Pop said . . . well, he said he knew who called the handlers. Who turned you in.”

I slam the hood of my Jeep, my entire body alert. “Who was it?” I demand. “Who did this to me?”

Nathan swallows hard. “It was Wes’s mom.”

I stare at him, although I shouldn’t be surprised. “Why?” I ask, feeling like I’ve just been socked in the chest. “Why would she do that? Why would she try to destroy me?”

“I’m not sure what happened,” Nathan says, holding up his hands like it proves he’s being honest. “But when Wes found out, he went a little nuts. I mean . . . he hated his mother after that, Tatum. He went to her work and caused a scene. He said he’d never forgive her.” Nathan shrugs. “Wes may have been dating Kyle, or whatever was going on between them, but he still wanted to protect you.”

“Wes and I . . . ,” I start, not sure how to finish. “Like my pop said, we have a connection. Wes and I have always loved each other. Probably always will. So he would have been angry with his mother. It would have made him sick.”

“Clearly it did,” Nathan says. “Not that he talked to anyone about it. He’d already withdrawn by then. After you were taken, I only saw him once. He was sitting in front of your house on his motorcycle, reflective sunglasses hiding his eyes. He looked . . . I don’t know, it was like he was shaking even though he was perfectly still. I called out to him, asked if he’d heard anything, but he didn’t respond. He just started the engine and took off. And then . . . you came home and I didn’t see him again.”

“Maybe he felt guilty for what his mom did to me.”

“Or what he did with Kyle,” Nathan offers, and when I flinch, he quickly apologizes for bringing her up again. “Anyway,” he says, trying to cover. “You came home, but I wasn’t allowed to see you at first. Then, that Saturday, Pop called and invited me over for dinner, like it was any other Saturday. But he caught me outside the house before I went in.”

I watch him, trying to see the memory through his eyes. “Why?”

“He asked me not to mention The Program to you,” Nathan says. “He said he’d gotten to you early, and that although they might have taken a few smaller memories, you were completely intact—just like before. I didn’t want to tell him I hoped it wasn’t exactly like before.

“And then,” Nathan continues, “Pop made me promise not to bring up The Program because the doctor warned him you were a special case—short-term memory loss, but with the highest potential for danger. He told me a crashback could kill you, so I made a deal to never bring it up. And then I went inside, and we ate enchiladas like nothing had ever happened.”

I wonder how Nathan could have gone through the motions, ignoring something so huge. Was he as awkward as he was tonight with my grandparents? Worse? I’m not sure, because I wasn’t paying attention. I didn’t know anything was wrong.

“Was that the night I found out Wes was missing?” I ask, piecing it together.

“Yeah,” Nathan says. “You called him after dinner and found out he was gone. None of us knew what had happened to him, but privately, I assumed he ran away because you were in The Program. I figured he didn’t know you got out. Thought maybe he couldn’t live with what happened to you. I’ll be honest, Tatum,” he says like this pains him. “I thought he’d killed himself.”

“So did I,” I whisper, laying my hand flat on the cold metal of the hood. “But he didn’t. He came home.”

“He must have heard you were back,” Nathan says. “And that’s why he showed up at your door. I was scared when you went to his house to bring him home. I was scared Dorothy would call the handlers again. But she must have seen you were cured.”

“It was never a cure,” I say immediately.

Nathan allows this, and then looks at the house just as the kitchen light goes out. “That’s all I’ve got,” Nathan says, turning back to me. “That’s everything I know. I wish I had told you sooner.”