The Comeback(33)

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? ? ?

The party was in a white palace at the top of Benedict Canyon. Elon knew the security code of the gate, punching it in before holding it open for me. We walked around the house and straight through to the backyard, where water cascaded over terra-cotta boulders into an Olympic-sized swimming pool. A guy in white Calvin Klein briefs threw a shrieking woman into the water, and Elon grinned at me before excusing himself to find the host. People swayed in the water and whispered about me from behind their raised red cups, while I stood awkwardly alone by the sliding doors into the house.

After a few minutes, I let myself into the house and found the kitchen. I opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of vodka. I’d drunk a little before but never by myself—I was too much of a control freak. As awful as it had been, however, the experience of shooting the film and spending time alone with Elon gave me a sense of independence, and I figured that now could be the time to start making a few of my own decisions. A girl wearing a shimmering white jumpsuit approached me just as I was pouring vodka into a red cup. I quickly topped it up with a splash of orange juice before she could see how much vodka I’d used. When she got closer I noticed that she had tiny crystals embedded in her eyebrows. I took a sip of my drink, wincing as it burned its way down my throat.

“You came with Elon, right?” the girl asked, and she instantly seemed too friendly for one of these parties.

“Yes,” I said, smiling politely at her. “I should maybe go look for him.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t bother,” she said, laughing. “He’s probably giving someone a BJ in the guesthouse.”

“Oh,” I said.

“Didn’t you know?” she asked, and I shrugged.

“I don’t really care,” I said, and she laughed again, seemingly delighted with me. I already felt better from the alcohol, giddy almost.

“I’m Alaia,” she said at the exact moment I decided that I liked her.

“Grace.” I nodded back at her.

“You know, you look like you could use a real party,” she said after a moment, and she waggled her tiny, fluffy purse at me. “Wanna join?”

I stared at her for a minute, uncomprehending, and she grabbed my hand, smiling.

“Come with me.”



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? ? ?

Alaia led me up the marble staircase to a bathroom on the first floor, where a rose quartz bathtub glowed beneath a window overlooking the pool. I sat on the closed toilet seat and watched with interest as Alaia portioned out two neat lines of white powder along the edge of the bathtub. She used her gold credit card to chop and press the powder until it was as fine as dust. I watched as she ran her finger along the card and then put it in her mouth. When she held the card out to me, I did the same. After that, Alaia took a metal straw out of her purse and hoovered up one of the lines in less than two seconds. When she was done she stood, pressing up the tip of her nose and inhaling sharply. The sound was surprisingly guttural, like the noise an animal might make before a fight.

Alaia gestured to the line on the edge of the bathtub, and I slowly eased onto my knees. I took a gulp of my drink, and it was so strong that it made my eyes water. I tried to remember how Alaia had done it as I bent over the powder with the cool straw resting lightly inside my nostril. I inhaled and felt the burn inside my nose. I thought instantly of Esme, and decided that I would call her when I left the party if it wasn’t too late.

Alaia smiled at me.

“You okay?”

“I think so,” I said, but I was already enjoying how I could really feel my brain working in my skull for the first time. It felt as if I could finally control my wayward mind, choosing exactly what I wanted to zone in and focus on with military precision. I felt an immense surge of appreciation for this stranger who had somehow known exactly what I was searching for.

“It’s fair trade,” Alaia said brightly as she leaned in toward me from her position on the edge of the tub. I looked at her uncomprehendingly. “The coke, I mean. Nobody died to get it to us.”

For some reason I found this hilarious, and when I started to laugh, she did too.

“Can we have more?” I asked, sliding back onto the floor. I felt good, clearheaded and alert, but I was also already worrying that the effects would wear off. “Since nobody died or anything.”

Alaia smiled and took the bag out from her purse again.

“Have you ever been to Burning Man?” she asked as she poured more out.

“No, have you?” I asked, running my tongue over the roof of my mouth. The ridges felt numb and foreign.

“Yes. You have to come with us this year. My friend can fly us in.”

I nodded, smiling slightly.

“That sounds fun. I’d like that,” I said. “I don’t have many friends in LA.”

Alaia looked at me quickly and then nodded, and I wondered if that had been obvious when she saw me standing alone in the kitchen.

She handed me the straw again, and I bent over to do my second line. I had only cleared half of it when I felt something catch in my throat and I straightened up to swallow. As I did, I happened to glance at Alaia, who was holding her phone at an odd angle in her lap. I stared up at her, and I could tell instantly from her expression that she had been filming me.

“Give me the phone,” I said, my voice low and rough. Alaia froze, panicked, and I grabbed it from her lap. The grainy camera was still recording when I turned it over. I realized that I had no idea how to stop it or how to delete what she had done, so I pressed some buttons on the side until the screen went black.