The Closer You Come (The Original Heartbreakers, #1)(95)

How would he react the day she pushed him past the limits of his control? And she would. That was a guarantee.

Why couldn’t she be like the women in books and movies and just trust him?

Easy. Because she was real, with real reactions.

Being real sucked.

“Dane says Jase is miserable.” Kenna smoothed hair from Brook Lynn’s brow. “Though he won’t give details. Bro-code or something like that.”

“You won’t go see him. You won’t talk about him. What’s going on?” Jessie Kay asked.

She didn’t want to reveal Jase’s secret, but she desperately needed advice. She’d been agonizing for days with zero results.

“I just found out... I mean, Jase told me...” The rest of the words snagged in her throat. Was she really going to do this? Betray him? Because that’s how he’d see it. He’d trusted her enough to share the most painful part of himself.

Dang it! She couldn’t do it. She was on her own. “I plead the ho-code and will remain silent.”

Jessie Kay snorted. “Did you just refer to yourself as a ho?”

“Did he cheat on you?” Kenna demanded.

“No, nothing like that.”

“Did he lie to you? Steal from you?” Jessie Kay asked.

“No and no.”

“Dude. Did he hit you?”

“What? No!” she gasped out.

But...would he? It was a question she couldn’t shake, a fear she’d never before entertained. The only way to find out how he would treat her while enraged was to, well, enrage him.

A frisson of distress swept through her. I’m miserable without him, but too unsure about what the future holds to go to him.

She couldn’t afford to make a mistake. But...she couldn’t let fear make her decisions for her, either. After all, she might actually be in love with Jase Hollister. All the signs were there. A need to give him everything she had...to protect him from further pain. And she treasured her time with him, delighted in teasing him, laughing with him. She thrilled in breaking through his icy demeanor to find the heat that swirled inside him.

But, dang it, the fear remained.

“I need a new job,” she muttered. “Just for a little while. Just until I figure some things out.” But what could she do? Who was hiring? What wouldn’t destroy her soul, little by little?

Off the top of her head...nothing. Cooking was the only thing she truly enjoyed, but none of the local restaurants or bakeries were hiring. Maybe they’d make an exception for her, though. She’d never forgotten the way those guys at the auto shop had reacted to her sandwich. Name your price, they’d said, as if they’d pay anything. Even...ten dollars? Fifteen? Just for a sandwich!

She would have tried opening her own shop, but it would have required too much overhead on her part.

Although...did she really have to open a shop to sell her sandwiches?

Buds of excitement unfurled within her, giving life to a tide of eagerness. What if she operated on a delivery-only basis? People could place their orders every morning, and she could make deliveries every afternoon and evening, making casseroles for working moms and dads to easily heat and serve to their families. That wouldn’t be enough to sustain her, but she could always expand into catering.

My own business, she thought, awed. She would be in control of her hours and her schedule.

She had to try.

“The job search can wait another day,” Jessie Kay said. “You don’t want to tell us what’s going on, fine, but we’re not letting you wallow a second longer. We’re going dancing, and that’s final. You deserve a good time. And a new man, if that’s something you’re interested in exploring.”

“I’m not. I only want Jase,” she muttered.

“I bet I can change your mind.” Jessie Kay tugged her out of bed and herded her into the bathroom. “Shower. Wash the stank off.”

“Fine. I’ll wash the stank off, as you so elegantly put it,” she said. You’re welcome, world. “But that’s it. That’s all I’m doing.”

Kenna grinned at her. “I’ll be in the closet, looking for your sluttiest dress.”

“I mean it,” she insisted. “I’m staying in tonight.”

“Sure, sure.” Jessie Kay riffled through her underwear drawer. “Do you want to wear a thong or go with something lacy? Definitely lacy,” she answered for her. “It’ll drive all the guys you meet wild.”

“I’m. Staying. In,” she said and slammed the bathroom door.

*

TWO AND A HALF hours later, the girls flanked her sides, guiding Brook Lynn into the club. Of course, nothing in Strawberry Valley had been good enough for Jessie Kay, so they’d driven into the city.

“I can’t believe you forced me into this,” she muttered, waving a hand in front of her face. Smoke thickened the air, tickling her throat and making her cough.

Jessie Kay grinned. “I know! Isn’t it great?”

Strobe lights flashed a million colors in every direction, spinning, spinning. Bright white lights pulsed in sync with the music. A thousand bodies overflowed the small space, men and women crowding the bar, standing around the occupied tables, bumping and grinding on the dance floor. She expected the seams of the building to split at any second.