The Christmas Pact(29)

I hadn’t heard back from Ask Ida and wasn’t sure I ever would. After my rude response to her previous advice, she was probably done with me. I was secretly hoping that Soraya would read my email and try to convince me contacting Kennedy was the right thing to do. But on my own, I simply didn’t have the courage to reach out to him. Why was I still hung up on a man who apparently wasn’t interested in being with me? If he was interested, he would have called by now, right?

The phone rang, snapping me out of my thoughts. Of course, my heart raced at the possibility that it might have been Kennedy.

I looked down at the screen. It was my mother.

The adrenaline rush subsided as I picked up. “Hey, Mom.”

“Hi, honey. Just checking in. Are you alright?”

Letting out a breath into the phone, I stared at the reflection of the Christmas lights in my window.

When I didn’t immediately respond, my mother sensed something was wrong. “Oh, no. Did something happen with Kennedy?”

Great.

I didn’t want to have to do this so soon—try to figure out how to explain Kennedy’s exit from my life. I just didn’t have it in me to mislead her anymore. So instead of concocting a lie, I decided to tell her the truth.

“Mom...I lied to you, and I’m very sorry,” I blurted.

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Kennedy wasn’t really my boyfriend.”

“What?! How is that possible? You two seemed so enamored with each other.”

“I know. Looks can be deceiving, can’t they?” I sighed. “I lied about the whole thing.”

“Why on Earth would you have lied about that?”

“Because I wanted to give you something new and exciting to be proud of when it came to me. Every year, in your Christmas letter, I’m the only child with nothing exciting to report. I was sick of feeling inadequate and figured if I could appear to be with someone worth writing home about...that you would finally be proud, even if it wasn’t real.”

My mother fell silent. Then she said, “I don’t even know what to say. I never imagined that my letters made you feel inadequate. That was never my intention.”

“I know. And actually...it doesn’t even bother me anymore. The whole thing seems silly now. I’m just letting you know my reasoning at that time.”

“So, if he’s not your boyfriend, then who is he?”

Good question.

“He’s a friend from work. Or rather, we work in different departments of the same company. He made up the whole thing about the space program. Well, actually, that wasn’t a total lie. He had applied in the past and gotten in. That’s how he knew so much about it. But currently, he works at Star Publishing along with me. But don’t blame him for lying. He was doing it as a favor to me. It was totally my fault.”

It was interesting that despite everything, I still wanted to protect him.

“Boy, you sure had me fooled.” Her next question surprised me. “So...why aren’t you actually with him? Aside from the fact that he lied for you, he still seems like he’d be a catch. You two had such amazing chemistry. You just can’t fake that, Riley.”

“It’s complicated, Mom. But by the end of my trip out to visit his family, I actually had started to fall for him.”

She laughed. “Well, isn’t that ironic.”

Yup.

“Anyway. I’m really sorry for lying.”

“Well, I think we all fell for him a little bit. Please don’t do something like that again, Riley. Not only because it’s not good to lie, but because there really is no need to. I love you just the way you are, even if I do go a bit overboard with the letter every year. I never realized that it bothered you so much. You know that ever since your father died, I’ve been looking for ways to distract myself, throwing myself into making the Christmas decorations bigger and better every year, trying to make it seem like everything is going so well via those letters. Truth is,” she said, her voice shaky, “I’m really quite sad, deep down. I do the best I can, but being without your father is harder than I ever imagined.

“I’m sorry, Mom. I know.”

“I suppose I’ve convinced myself that if others believe my life is wonderful, then eventually I’ll believe it myself. Not the best example to set for my children, I know. But, Riley, always be honest with me, even if I apparently don’t deserve it sometimes.” She sighed. “Now tell me more about this Kennedy. You didn’t really answer me. Why can’t you two be together?”

“It’s a long story, but the gist is that Kennedy’s ex-girlfriend ended up marrying his brother.”

She gasped. “Well, how terrible! Wait, was that the wedding you attended together?”

“Yes. And so...he’s definitely wary of women and of getting hurt, although I can’t be a hundred percent sure that’s why he hasn’t contacted me. He may just not be that into me.”

Suddenly, I heard something hit my window. Something small. It sounded like a rock against the glass. Sensing potential trouble, Sister Mary Alice started barking and ran to the window.

“Hang on, Mom.”

When I peeked out the window, I saw the last thing I ever expected to: a man sitting atop a beautiful white horse. I leaned in, squinting to try to see who it was. A second later, my eyes flew wide open and I jumped back with a gasp. The phone slipped out of my hand and fell to the ground. I could hear my mother’s muffled voice off in the distance, but I could only focus on so many things at once.