The Calculating Stars (Lady Astronaut, #1)(57)

Somewhere in the back of my brain, a rational part remained, screaming at me to pull it together.



Or maybe it wasn’t rational, because it was my mother’s voice, sounding mortified.

Elma!



What will people think?



I wiped my eyes with the handkerchief—when had I acquired a handkerchief?



Oh, it was Nathaniel’s.



In one of my few early domestic fits, I had embroidered NDY in the corner with dark blue floss.



“I’m sorry.”



“No, no.



It’s my fault.



I should have waited until I wasn’t so angry.”



Nathaniel squeezed my hands.



“Elma, I’m not angry at you.



At all.



You’ve done nothing wrong.”



“I got you in trouble at work.



I didn’t pay the electric bill, and we were behind on the gas, too.



My housecleaning isn’t much more than doing the dishes and making the bed.



I’m having trouble concentrating at work.



If I weren’t trying to make trouble—”



“Okay.



Stop.



Shh…” He squeezed my hands and rose up on his knees.



“Elma.



Elma?



What’s 441 multiplied by 48?”



“21,168.”



“Divided by twelve?”



“1,764.”



My breathing eased a little.



“Square root of 1,764?”



“Forty-two.”



“Okay.



Good.”



He wiped the tears from my cheeks.



“Can you look at me?”



I nodded, but gravity seemed to keep my gaze chained to the floor.



I used my next breath as a propellant to look up.



Nathaniel’s sky-blue eyes were pinched and worried.



“I love you.



I’m proud of you.



I’m sorry for whatever I’ve done to make you doubt that.”



“Nothing.



I mean…” I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand.



“This is just … I’m sorry.”



“If I accept your apology, will you stop apologizing?”



He tried for a smile, but his voice still cracked with worry.



“Tell you what.



Let’s take the rest of the day off and go home.”



“No—I don’t want to pull you away from work.



And Bubbles still needs my help with calculations, and if I’m not there, Mrs. Rogers will have to reschedule people, and I don’t want to be trouble.”



He put a finger over my lips.



“We’ll stay here, then.



Okay?



But I want you to stay in here with me.



I need your help on some calculations.



Okay?



Can you help me with those?”



I nodded.



I could be helpful.



That I could do.



I could do all the math he wanted.



“Good.



Now, Elma, here’s…” He stood and rooted around on his desk until he found a piece of paper and drew it toward me.



“Here’s the equipment list for the moon landing.



What I want to know is how many launches we’ll need to do to get everything there.”



I pulled the chair closer to the desk.



“What type of rocket am I assuming?”



“The Jupiter class, unless it’s more efficient to do something else.”



He rested a hand on my back.



“Just sit here and work.



I’ll be right back.”





NINETEEN

BIRTHS IN SPACE HELD POSSIBILITY

Psychologist Believes Man Could Produce Children Fit for New Environment





By GLADWIN HILL


Special to The National Times.

LOS ANGELES, CA, Sept. 19, 1956—The possibility of husband-and-wife scientist teams voyaging through space and begetting children on the way was seriously cited today at a gathering of leading space scientists.

By the time I’d figured out that the lunar mission could be done with five launches using the Jupiter class rockets, or two using the Sirius class that was still in development, Nathaniel had cleaned up my mess, brought me a lemonade, and …

And I’d realized that he had given me equations to do so I would calm down.