The Burning Maze (The Trials of Apollo #3)(37)

The real conversation piece was his ears. What I had mistaken for a headdress had come unfurled, revealing two floppy ovals of cartilage, shaped like human ears but each the size of a beach towel, which told me immediately that the poor boy’s middle-school nickname would have been Dumbo. His ear canals were wide enough to catch baseballs, and stuffed with so much hair that Piper could have used it to fletch an entire quiverful of darts.

‘Big Ears,’ I said.

‘Duh,’ said Meg.

‘No, I mean this must be one of the Big Ears that Macro spoke of.’

Grover took a step back. ‘The creatures Caligula is using for his personal guard? Do they have to be so scary-looking?’

I walked a circle around the young humanoid. ‘Think how keen his hearing must be! And imagine all the guitar chords he could play with those hands. How have I never seen this species before? They would make the world’s best musicians!’

‘Hmm,’ Piper said. ‘I don’t know about music, but they fight like you wouldn’t believe. Two of them almost killed Jason and me, and we’ve fought a lot of different monsters.’

I saw no weapons on the guard, but I could believe he was a tough fighter. Those eight-fingered fists could have done some damage. Still, it seemed a waste to train these creatures for war …

‘Unbelievable,’ I murmured. ‘After four thousand years, I am still discovering new things.’

‘Like how dumb you are,’ Meg volunteered.

‘No.’

‘So you already knew that?’

‘Guys,’ Grover interrupted. ‘What do we do with Big Ears?’

‘Kill him,’ Meg said.

I frowned at her. ‘What happened to He’s fun? What happened to Everything alive deserves a chance to grow?’

‘He works for the emperors,’ she said. ‘He’s a monster. He’ll just dust back to Tartarus, right?’

Meg looked at Piper for confirmation, but she was busy scanning the street.

‘Still seems odd there’s only one guard,’ Piper mused. ‘And why is he so young? After we broke in once already, you’d think they’d put more guards on duty. Unless …’

She didn’t finish the thought, but I heard it loud and clear: Unless they want us to come in.

I studied the guard’s face, which was still twitching from the effects of the poison. Why did I have to think of his face as the fuzzy underside of a dog? It made killing him difficult.

‘Piper, what does your poison do, exactly?’

She knelt and pulled out the dart. ‘Judging from how it worked on the other Big Ears, it will paralyse him for a long while but won’t kill him. It’s diluted coral-snake venom with a few special herbal ingredients.’

‘Remind me never to drink your herbal tea,’ Grover muttered.

Piper smirked. ‘We can just leave Big Ears. Doesn’t seem right to dust him to Tartarus.’

‘Hmph.’ Meg looked unconvinced, but she flicked her twin blades, instantly snapping them back into golden rings.

Piper walked to the metal door. She pulled it open, revealing a rusty freight elevator with a single control lever and no gate.

‘Okay, just so we’re clear,’ Piper said, ‘I’ll show you where Jason and I entered the maze, but I’m not doing the stereotypical Native American tracker thing. I don’t know tracking. I’m not your guide.’

We all readily agreed, as one does when delivered an ultimatum by a friend with strong opinions and poison darts.

‘Also,’ she continued, ‘if any of you find the need for spiritual guidance on this quest, I am not here to provide that service. I’m not going to dispense bits of ancient Cherokee wisdom.’

‘Very well,’ I said. ‘Though as a former prophecy god, I enjoy bits of spiritual wisdom.’

‘Then you’ll have to ask the satyr,’ Piper said.

Grover cleared his throat. ‘Um, recycling is good karma?’

‘There you go,’ Piper said. ‘Everybody good? All aboard.’

The interior of the elevator was poorly lit and smelled of sulphur. I recalled that Hades had an elevator in Los Angeles that led to the Underworld. I hoped Piper hadn’t got her quests mixed up.

‘Are you sure this thing goes to the Burning Maze?’ I asked. ‘Because I didn’t bring any rawhide chews for Cerberus.’

Grover whimpered. ‘You had to mention Cerberus. That’s bad karma.’

Piper threw the switch. The elevator rattled and began to sink at the same speed as my spirits.

‘This first part is all mortal,’ Piper assured us. ‘Downtown Los Angeles is riddled with abandoned subway tunnels, air-raid shelters, sewer lines …’

‘All my favourite things,’ Grover murmured.

‘I don’t really know the history,’ Piper said, ‘but Jason told me some of the tunnels were used by smugglers and partyers during Prohibition. Now you get taggers, runaways, homeless folks, monsters, government employees.’

Meg’s mouth twitched. ‘Government employees?’

‘It’s true,’ Piper said. ‘Some of the city workers use the tunnels to go from building to building.’

Grover shuddered. ‘When they could just walk in the sunlight with nature? Repulsive.’