The Boy and His Ribbon (The Ribbon Duet, #1)(77)

I was ready.

If I was honest, I was dying with readiness, but I still couldn’t take the plunge because I knew the consequences of sex, and as much as I loved Della and was grateful for her in my life and besotted with everything she did, I refused to raise another.

Sex talks and naked days and the terrible circumstances of watching her body turn from washboard to budding with breasts had drained me. Her body was no longer a kid’s and had to be covered in public, making her self-aware, and stealing the remaining days of her childhood.

I was tired.

Frankly, I was exhausted, and I just wanted to give in to the thick desire in my blood whenever I looked at a pretty woman and forget about rights and wrongs and pregnancies.

But I couldn’t.

Because I did not want to be a father.

And once I’d had sex once, I had no doubt I’d want it again and again and just like the stallion or bull who serviced an entire herd, delivering each mare and cow with a foal and calf, I did not want to have multiple Rens running around, killing me slowly.

That was my view on the world.

And because I never talked about my concerns, my beliefs became fact until one night when Cassie drove home with a squeal of tires in her second-hand red Corolla and bolted into the house.

Yells and sobs flowed from the farmhouse for hours, making me wonder what the hell happened.

Whatever it was made her angry and sad, and later that night, past midnight and almost at witching hour, a pebble dinged against the window above my head and I shot awake.

Della had always been a heavier sleeper than me, and just because she was flirting with puberty didn’t change that fact.

Shrugging into a t-shirt and pulling on some shorts, I stumbled from our room to find Cassie pacing like a caged ferret with her hair wild, white nightgown flowing, and lips pinched with an aura of hurt female bristling amongst the hay and horses.

“You okay?” I asked, clearing the scratchy sleep from my throat.

The moment she heard me, she barrelled toward me, snatched my hand and yanked me into a free stable. The moment the stall door closed, she shoved me against the wall, leapt into my arms, and planted her mouth on mine.

I stumbled beneath her weight, instinct causing my hands to cup her ass and my arms to bunch and hold her close.

Her legs wrapped around my waist as her tongue plunged deep, kissing me with a kind of passion I’d never tasted before.

It triggered something in me.

I went from courteous and willing to help to matching monster like she was.

Spinning around, I crushed her against the wall as hard as she’d slammed me.

Her moan only ignited me further, and our kiss turned savage.

We devoured each other with nips and thrusting tongues, struggling to breathe and spit slippery between us.

While our mouths attacked the other, our hands roamed.

Mine fisted her full breasts, kneading her with choking desire, being more aggressive than I’d ever been, unable to rein myself in.

I pinched her nipples, and she mewled.

I bit her neck, and she gasped.

I thrust the aching steel between my legs directly against her wetness, and she begged for more.

Her rapid fingers slipped down my front, cupping me, squeezing, fisting, jerking me off until I thought for sure I’d come.

As quickly as she’d grabbed me, her touch was gone, focusing on tugging down my shorts.

My brain was mush. My heart smoking. My blood black and thick with uncontrolled need.

I couldn’t think or stop as she yanked out my pounding length and shoved aside the material of her nightgown.

The heat of her…holy shit.

The wet slick and tight promise pressed against my tip, and I groaned loud and long—a growl with every want I’d denied myself for so long.

I thrust upward, needing what she offered before my heart exploded and my life ended.

My aim wasn’t right, and we slipped apart.

I stumbled to the side, crashing against a spade and sending it clattering to the cobblestone floor.

The noise reverberated around the stable, freezing us.

My heart kept thundering, obscuring my hearing as I did my best to look in the direction of my bedroom where Della hopefully continued to sleep none-the-wiser.

My chest squeezed as if I was doing something against her wishes. As if I was breaking her trust. Ever since our sex talk, we’d had an unspoken agreement that sex was an open topic. If she had something she wanted to ask, she asked it, and I swallowed down my chagrin to answer her.

She knew exactly what kissing meant, and what it led to, and what sex was between two parties.

She’d come with me to the neighbouring farm to watch ducks mate and pigs and dogs and even fish in the farmer’s pond. She knew the mechanics now.

Therefore, she would understand what I was about to do with Cassie if she walked in.

Tripping backward, I unwrapped my arms from around Cassie’s waist, dropping her to the floor.

My cock stuck out, glistening and angry beneath my t-shirt hem.

Cassie looked one last time toward the door leading to my room, then hissed with frustration. “She won’t know.”

“That’s not the point.”

She clamped her hands on her hips, looking girlish in her white nightgown with pink flowers and all woman with her puffy lips and tight nipples. “Then what is the point, Ren? Why do you keep stopping this?”