Tempted & Taken (Men of Haven #4)(57)
He shook his head. Or at least he tried to. Given how tense the muscles in his neck and shoulders were, he wasn’t sure how good the movement turned out. His voice wasn’t much better. “I never had a place to bring anyone before high school. My foster homes were either too crowded or not welcome to me having company.”
“But surely after...once you got your own place.”
A slow, uncomfortable panic crept in, casting an unwelcome shadow he had no intention of letting overcast tonight. “Never.” He snagged his backpack off the floor, unzipped the main compartment and pulled out his laptop.
She moved in beside him and laid a hand over his forearm just as he sat in his big wingback and centered the computer in the middle of his desk. “Why?”
He shrugged and captured her hand in his. Smoothing his thumb along her knuckles, he let the memories surface. “Another way to keep women at a distance, I guess. Once you’ve had enough disappointment, you find ways to limit the damage going forward.”
Edging close enough her knees brushed his, she gently combed her fingers through his hair. It was such a giving touch, full of heart despite its simplicity and so potent it quaked through every part of him. “It was the teacher who disappointed you? The one you mentioned that first morning after we...”
She dropped her gaze and bit her lip, all the comfort and ease she’d shown since Beckett and Danny’s departure disappearing under uncertainty.
Oh, no. That wasn’t happening. His pain was one thing, but she wasn’t suffering through it. Not by his hand and damned sure not tonight. He tugged her hand enough to draw her off balance and guided her tumble forward so she landed in his lap. “You mean the morning after we started something I cannot find an ounce of regret for?”
Her smile was brilliant. Totally the stuff of spring mornings without a single cloud to blemish its beauty. Talk about a way to pump his ego up into Empire State Building range. “Not an ounce?”
He traced her jawline and marveled in the moment. Never in a million years did he think he’d find the courage to take this chance, but now that he was here, he wasn’t going back. Not for anything. “Nada.”
She studied him, her fingers cautiously moving above his sternum. “Do you think...would you tell me about her?”
It was a reasonable request. One he had every intention of mirroring back at her when the time was right. No matter what her past entailed, he’d make sure it never came back to bite her. But if he expected her to share her secrets, he’d have to grab his own by the nuts and show her he was worthy of knowing.
He swallowed huge, the action hindered by the fist-sized knot in his throat. “I was big for my age. Cocky as hell and looking for trouble anywhere I could find it.” He chuckled as some of the lightness from those days filtered through. “I told you, Beckett and I really didn’t have a ton of supervision, so we didn’t really have to look hard.”
“I found a picture of you.” She giggled as she said it, but it had a husky edge of confession to it, too.
“You found a mugshot. Hardly my best look.”
“But you were handsome.” She snuggled a little closer to his chest. “My guess is trouble jumped in your lap.”
Actually, she wasn’t far from the truth. Beck had been just as eager as he had to explore the physical wonders the girls at school afforded them, but Knox had tackled getting them off with the same tenacity he spent penetrating firewalls. “I got a bit of a reputation, yeah.”
Darya waited, patiently watching him while he tried to find some way to ease into the uncomfortable topic. As if sensing his lack of direction, she offered, “What was her name?”
“Tami Henderson.” It was weird saying her name out loud after all these years. Weird, but not nearly as traumatic as he’d expected. “She was my history teacher. Had her for sixth hour. All the kids loved her because she wasn’t the uptight stick-up-their-ass type and really loved what she did for a living.”
“You were attracted to her?”
He grinned at that. “Uh, yeah. So was every other guy at the school. She was in her mid-thirties, but had a smokin’ bod and wasn’t the least bit shy about showing it.”
“So, you approached her?”
Cold crept through his veins, starting at his toes and fingertips and winding its way toward his torso. He hugged Darya tighter to fight it off. “No. I was ballsy as hell, but not that ballsy.” He anchored his gaze on her and ripped the Band-Aid off. “Just after Christmas break, she asked me to stay after class one day. From there, things just happened.”
Her face softened and she cradled his cheek with one hand. “She meant something to you.”
He hesitated for a second, trying to find the right way to explain it. “I didn’t have anyone growing up. Not until I met Beckett. And yeah, I love him the way I would a brother by blood, but a man can only give you so much.” He tugged her shirt free of her prim skirt and slipped his hand against her warm flesh, needing the contact to ground him. “I never had a mom. Never had affection. Tami gave me that. I thought it meant something to her, too. Had shit all planned out. Happily ever afters and everything. Totally pussy whipped.”
“But she didn’t feel the same?”
He scoffed. “If she did, she dusted me off quick enough. We’d kept it quiet all of second semester, but one of the other kids caught wind of what was going on and spilled to the principal. We had one week left before graduation. One week before I thought we could be on the up and up and wouldn’t have to hide this great thing between us anymore.”