Take Your Time (Boston Love #4)(79)

“It can’t… or we can’t?” he asks in a guarded voice.

God, how does he always see straight through me?

I swallow and look up at him. “Both.”

His face adopts that intense, determined expression he wears right before he steps into the ring.

Shit.

“Delilah, hate to break it to you, but we’re already happening.”

I shake my head, as if to block his words. “I still don’t understand why you did this.”

Luca’s eyes narrow. “Your lease expires in two days. You had nowhere else to go, nowhere I knew you’d be safe. So I moved you in, like we agreed on last night.”

“We did not agree on anything! You made a unilateral decision on my behalf.” I laugh, a little crazily, as I look at my things covering the majority of his floor space. “You do realize, of course, that this is insane?”

“Not seeing how, babe. You’re mine. I protect what’s mine. Simple as that.”

“Not simple as anything! I’m not yours. We barely know each other. We aren’t dating. Hell, we’re not even friends. And you think we can live together?! Even temporarily!? Are you nuts?”

His eyes get a little scary, when I say that. “You do what we did last night with barely even friends?” He takes a step closer. “You come like that for barely even friends? You scream out the name of barely even friends and fall asleep with them wrapped around you?”

I have no answers for him — none he doesn’t already know, otherwise he wouldn’t be asking.

No. I never do that with my best friends, let alone my barely even friends. I never do that with anyone at all.

Last night, with him… it was the first time I’ve ever been that intimate with a man. The first time I’ve let myself go, wholly and uncompromisingly. He saw the surrender in my heart as he consumed my body… and now he’s using it against me.

I jerk my chin higher, eyes flashing with defiance.

He steps closer.

“Come on, Delilah. Don’t back down now. Tell me. What was last night to you, huh?” His voice is pissed. “How are you going to explain that away? Another lapse in judgment? Another slip up? Just about the sex?” He glares at me. “Not buying it. It wasn’t just about sex. If it was about sex, we would’ve fucked months ago and moved on. Case closed.”

My lips press together.

His eyes lock on them. “You might not be able to admit it to yourself or to me, except maybe when you’re drunk out of your mind or half asleep, but this thing between us is real, and it’s not going away.”

I blink. “What do you mean, when I’m half asleep or drunk out of my mind?”

“Doesn’t matter.” He shakes his head. “What matters is, I care about you. I care about you. Why the hell won’t you just let me?”

My eyes fill with tears. His expression softens as he watches them cut angry paths down my cheeks. I don’t know how we got here, screaming at each other about moving boxes, when five minutes ago we were kissing.

It’s a mess.

“Can’t you see how screwed up this is?” I ask brokenly.

His eyes are steady on mine. “Yeah, I can see exactly how screwed up it is, babe.”

I get the sense he’s not talking about boxes. He’s talking about me.

I dash the tears from my eyes. “Don’t turn this around on me, Luca Buchanan. I’m not the one who stole the entire contents of someone’s house against their will and started this whole stupid fight.”

“Yeah? Well I’m not the one with such intense commitment issues, she can’t see something good even when it’s standing right in front of her.”

“I do not have commitment issues.”

“Delilah, you won’t admit to loving the twins or your dog, let alone a man. You have bigger commitment issues than anyone I’ve ever met.”

“Do not!”

“Do too.”

“Do not!”

“Fuck,” he curses. “I’m not having this fight with you like we’re in first fucking grade.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, we can’t go five minutes without fighting! Yet another reason WE SHOULDN’T LIVE TOGETHER!”

“Babe, half the time our fights are bullshit excuses for you to create distance between us, and the other half are foreplay. Already told you, I’m okay with the bullshit. Definitely okay with the foreplay, too, since what comes after is hands down the best sex I’ve ever had.”

My stomach flips.

He leans closer. “So yeah, we’ll probably fight, we’ll probably drive each other half crazy, but I don’t really give a shit because I’ve never felt this way about anyone before and, bullshit aside, I know you feel the same way.” His words hit me like a right hook to the stomach. “You may want to deny it, you may not be ready to face it, but the fact is… you and me are together. And if that scares the shit out of you? Fine. Be scared. But do it here. With me.”

“I— I—” I pull in a sharp breath. “I don’t know how to do this—”

“Neither do I.”

I can’t make eye contact. “Maybe… if you just give me some time to figure things out…”