Sweet Nothing(92)

“Like what?” I asked, pressing on the gas. My eyebrows pulled together. I had feared so much that she wouldn’t wake up or wouldn’t come home if she did. It hadn’t occurred to me the millions of other problems she could have. “Has the doc ordered a CT? Maybe there’s swelling,” I said, swallowing hard. “It could be a brain bleed. He needs to run tests. Now.”

“He’s not going to take orders from me, Josh. You know that,” Quinn said, sounding half worried, half frustrated. “She’s … she keeps asking you to wake up.”

“What?”

“She keeps saying it over and over. She wants you to wake up.” He began imitating her. “‘Wake up, Josh. Listen to my voice. Come back to me. I need you to wake up.’ Her eyes are wide open, man. It’s like she’s talking to you, but you ain’t here. It’s … you just need to get here.”

“Wake up?” I asked. “She’s asking me to wake up?”

“Wake up,” Quinn said, over and over. “It’s time for you to wake up.”





I clicked my nails on the table, staring out the window at the street outside. A Buick was parked in place of Josh’s SUV. Quinn said Josh wouldn’t be able to drive the Barracuda. It was bent and crumpled in a salvage yard next to the Prius.

There were a few lucky, blissful nights I dreamed of Josh, but it was nothing like before. His face was blurred, his voice not quite as comforting as I remembered.

“Avery?” Deb called from the kitchen. She brought me a bowl of steaming soup, setting it on the table. “Avery,” she chided, “if you get like this every time I bring news about Josh, I can’t keep doing it. It’s not good for you.”

“No,” I said, snapping out of my stare. “It’s okay. I want to know.”

“I thought you’d be happy. Helping people is what he does. His dad donating his organs just makes sense out of all this.”

I swallowed. “Planning for his death before he’s dead is wrong. He’s not dead. However you look at it, Josh protected me. Now he’s spare parts.” I thought about my Prius and shivered.

“I can take you to see him tomorrow.”

“Yes,” I said, nodding.

“I think he likes it when you come.”

I smiled, swirling a spoon around the beef and vegetables. “He doesn’t like it enough to wake up.” My mood plummeted. “If he doesn’t soon, his father won’t have a choice but to take him off life support.”

“That won’t happen. You woke up. He will, too.”

I tried to smile, but I’d forgotten how.

“Maybe you should … maybe you should visit your aunt in Florida? I know you two got closer while she was here.”

“She wants me to move.”

“I can’t agree to that, but the sunshine would do you some good.”

“There’s sunshine here,” I mumbled.

“Not like Florida. She lives a block away from the beach, right? Imagine being able to swim in the ocean whenever you want. That would be epic.”

“I’m not leaving Josh.”

Deb poured me a glass of orange juice, and then one for herself. “This would be much better with vodka.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“What were you thinking for dinner tonight?” she asked. “I can make something quick or grab something for you, and then I have to go.”

“Don’t worry about me, Deb. I appreciate you, you know that, but I’m not helpless. Go do whatever. Are you going to Corner Hole?”

“No. I don’t know,” she said with a coy smile.

I set down my glass and arched an eyebrow. “What are you up to, Hamata? Are you holding out on me?”

She shook her head. “I can’t tell you. I would be a huge dick if I did.”

“I’m your best friend. Do not think for a second I can’t be happy for you.”

“I have a date,” she said, immediately cringing.

I smiled for the first time in weeks, grabbing her hand across the table. “Deborah Keiko Hamata! With who?”

She hesitated, then looked down at her glass. “Quinn.”

“What?” I squealed.

“If I’d known you were going to actually show a real smile, I’d have told you a week ago.”

“You’ve kept this from me for a week?” I said, a little hurt.

“I’m sorry.”

“No. It’s okay. I understand why you did.”

“No. I’m sorry I have a date with Quinn. It might not even happen. He’s been texting me nonstop, and then today … nothing.”

“Don’t be sorry. It gives me hope,” I said, looking out the window with a smile. The world was going on with me—without Josh. The branches were almost bare. Halloween was just a few days away. I closed my eyes, wondering how I would make it through the first snowfall, through Christmas without Josh. “And don’t worry. Quinn’s probably just busy at work. It’s a full moon tonight.”

“So … dinner?” Deb asked.

“I was thinking Japanese. JayWok is right down the street.”

Deb nodded. “You sure? I really don’t mind.”