Sweet Nothing(55)

“Go away, please,” she whimpered, spitting into the toilet. “Oh, God …” She heaved again.

“You were feeling fine earlier. Maybe it was the candy?”

“Food poisoning. Has to be the Japanese,” she said before hurling again. “I’m dying. I’m going to die.”

“I’ll get you a cool rag.”

“Thank you. Then please leave. I don’t want you to see this. It’s going to get ugly really fast.”

I rubbed her back, knowing exactly what she meant. I wouldn’t want her to see me like that, either.

I fetched her a cold rag and then shut the door behind me. “I’m going to check on you in ten minutes,” I said through the door.

“Please don’t.”

I pulled back my old gray and black comforter, and then placed a garbage can on the floor. Mother was still in the kitchen, watching me search through the cabinets for a clean glass.

“For f*ck’s sake, Mom. Glasses.”

“Watch your language,” she said. “Water bottles in the fridge.”

“You have something to say?” I asked, grabbing two bottles of Aquafina.

“I didn’t say anything.”

I spun around to see her struggling to light her cigarette from a match, her eyes nearly closed.

I sat the bottles on the counter and took the matches from her. She watched me with a frown and heavy eyes as I effortlessly tore one away from the matchbook and lit it for her.

Leaning toward the flame, she puffed and then exhaled, enveloping her face in a cloud of smoke before inhaling and choking out a cough.

“I know something is on your mind. Spit it out.”

“She’s sick, huh?” Mother blew out a cloud of smoke and I waved it away.

“She’ll be fine by morning. It’s been a long trip. The cigarette smoke isn’t going to help, if you’re wondering.”

“I wasn’t,” she said, blowing out another puff. “So, this is why you’re really here? You got another girl knocked up and now you want my help.” Still the mother I remembered. After Kayla had drowned, she didn’t enjoy life sober.

I laughed once. “You can’t be serious. How could you help anyone in this shape?”

“I’m not pregnant.” Avery’s voice was quiet.

I spun around to see her leaning against the kitchen wall in one of my T-shirts and basketball shorts, her chin beginning to quiver.

“Avery,” I breathed. I grabbed the bottles of water and walked toward her. When I reached out for her, she held up her hand to keep me back.

She took a water from my hand. “I feel better. I’m going to bed.”

“I’ll come with you,” I said.

I glared over my shoulder at my mother, hoping it would be the last time I’d have to look at her.

Following Avery to my room, I twisted the lock on the knob while I watched her climb under the covers.

“Avery, I’m not sure what you heard, but …” I shook my head, unsure of what I was going to say.

“Don’t.” There was no anger in her voice, just exhaustion. She stilled, her back to me.

I peeled off my shirt and then kicked off my shoes and jeans. When I slipped into bed, I was careful not to bounce her around. I wanted to wrap my arms around her, but I didn’t want to make things worse.

“This was obviously before we met.” She glanced over her shoulder and I closed my eyes. She’d heard it all.

I nodded in confirmation.

“Then hold me.” I slowly wrapped my arms around her, pulling her back against my chest. Her body stiffened, but she didn’t pull away.

She was silent for several moments. Seconds had never passed by so slowly. She breathed in, and then said the best thing I’d ever heard.

“I love you.”

I pressed my forehead against her back. “I love you, too.”

“We should probably talk about it … when you’re ready.”

I nodded. “I’m ready.” I took a deep breath. “Her name was Brooke. A buddy from high school named Daniel introduced me to her one night at a party the summer after we graduated. Daniel went to an alternative school. He’d been held back twice, barely graduated, already had a kid somewhere—bad news all around. Brooke was Daniel’s tutor through most of that. She’d just finished her freshman year of college, so of course I thought I was hot shit when she started flirting with me.

“Daniel broke it to me that she was pregnant a month later.” I breathed out a laugh, still in disbelief. “We’d only spoken once since that night. Neither of us was interested in a relationship, but suddenly, we were attached for life. I never pressured her to get rid of it. I never even brought it up.”

Avery tightened my arms around her.

“I was a scared kid, sure, but never once did I try to sway her one way or the other. Daniel was dying to swoop in and be her savior, constantly offering his shoulder to cry on. I went to her first appointment, and then … I freaked. I needed space. She wanted me to be her rock, but I didn’t know how. We got into a huge fight. We both said things we didn’t mean. I left town for one night and turned off my phone.

“When I turned it on the next morning, she’d left me a message. She was going to a clinic. I tried to call her. I called her a dozen times, but she wouldn’t … she wouldn’t f*cking answer,” I said, feeling suffocated by the memory. “I got stuck in traffic, and by the time I got there, she’d … she … it was over. It was done. She never spoke to me again.”