Spy Games (Tarnished Heroes #1)(73)

“Who’s he?”

“He’s a contractor stationed in South Korea. MSS hates him. Unfortunately, he’s good at his job, but he has chatty friends. Now, I know he’s in contact with at least one guy—name’s Noah, real piece of work. I know about your little fake auction. That trap’s not going to work. One of those three is going to get cold feet, and you’re all going to be left with your thumbs up your asses.”

“You worked with this woman?”

“Sarah? Yeah.”

“You had operational control at some point regarding the contents of the case. If we have you, why do we need her?”

“No, the intel was never left with me. At least not what you’re after. Sarah delivers paperwork, documents, stuff to me. What you want, she hands off to the people directly. Well, indirectly, since they’re dead drops. Anyway, I told your boss that he could only have one of two things, the information or the key to the information. He picked the information, so that’s what he got.” He shrugged, as if that explained everything.

“What good are you then?”

“Oh, Wei, I’m all the good you’re going to need.”

…

Sarah carried the dishes to the sink. Emily was already elbow-deep in the sudsy water while Julie packed up the leftovers. Sarah peered into the dining room, where Rand and Matt were kicked back talking about high school football stories. They’d reached some sort of truce in her absence and things were oddly…okay.

“That went better than I’d have imagined,” Emily whispered.

“Hmm? Oh, right.” Sarah scraped the last of the dishes.

“How are you?”

“Shocked.” Sarah took up the post on Emily’s other side and began drying dishes.

“You look tired.”

“I am. All this continent-to-continent travel has me exhausted.” Sarah tugged her sleeves down as far as they would go. She’d rather talk about how haggard she was or the bags under her eyes than why the hell she had stitches.

“So, you and Rand, huh?”

“Not really.”

“Whatever, Sarah, I see the way you’re looking at each other.” Emily flicked some soapsuds at Sarah. “You’ve always liked him.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean anything. His life, his career, is so far away from mine. There’s no making that work.”

“You can’t go on being the single water warrior for the rest of your life, you know? What comes after?”

“Who says there is an after?” Sarah shrugged instead of biting back. Just because Emily had retired from the field to be a mom and wife didn’t mean Sarah had to. She was so very grateful for Emily. She’d single-handedly saved Matt just by being herself, but in the process she left Sarah alone.

“Julie?” Emily glanced over her shoulder at the blonde woman. “How long do most people stay in the field?”

“Hmm? Oh, I don’t know…”

“You told me when I turned in my resignation that most people are done after six years.” Emily directed her gaze back at Sarah. “You’ve got your six in.”

“What do you want me to do with that information?” Sarah knew there was a lot of turnover in humanitarian work. It burned people out because it was hard and thankless, but there were people who stayed. Who weren’t like Emily.

Maybe Sarah still had some bitterness issues to work out, and that was on her. She’d never had another friend like Emily who got her.

“All I’m saying is, it’s not bad to want to move on to something else. And there’s plenty of work to do in other areas. Keep an open mind.”

Sarah wanted to laugh or cry, she wasn’t sure which. Emily was only trying to help, but damn. Sarah couldn’t be with Rand. It was dangerous right now. If she followed him into the field, it would be suicide. She wasn’t cut out to do this like he was.

She loved Rand, but it didn’t solve their problems. It didn’t magically make the world a better place or all the dangerous stuff go away. It was still there, ready to stab her if she let her guard down.

Love might have saved Matt, but it didn’t solve Sarah’s problems. It didn’t do anything except make this whole mess more complicated.

“Hey, Em, we need to go save Mom and Dad.” Matt braced his elbows on the bar.

Rand hung back, glancing at his phone.

“Oh, yeah.” Emily groaned. “The kids are going to be hell tomorrow.”

“Sarah, got a minute?” Matt’s gaze speared her.

“Sure.” She’d rather skewer her eyeball than have another of those brother-sister talks, but she was going to need both eyes.

Sarah followed Rand into the living room, the drying towel still clutched in her hands.

“I wasn’t prepared for tonight. I still don’t know what to think.” Matt stared at the floor, his gaze distant.

“Yeah, me neither.” She sat on the sofa and pushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

“I need to sleep on things.”

Sarah glanced up at Matt’s face. The lines were back, thoughtful, contemplative furrows. As much as it’d hurt losing Rand, Matt had it worse. Rand was not only Matt’s best friend, they’d served together, done things together Matt still wouldn’t talk about. And then he’d gone. And now he was back. No explanation given.