Something to Talk About(67)

Today, though, Jo had leaned in. She did. Emma hadn’t imagined that. She could still feel the satin soft skin of Jo’s cheek beneath her thumb. Her fingers buzzed. They’d been close enough to breathe each other’s air. Emma could count Jo’s eyelashes as they fluttered.

She should’ve been frightened of these feelings, maybe, but the memory was too intoxicating to be terrifying. Emma pulled out her phone and sat on the couch. Her finger hovered over her sister’s name in her list of favorite contacts. Avery would be able to help her figure this out. Avery helped her figure everything out. But Avery also teased her. She couldn’t tell Avery about this without getting laughter and an I told you so. It would be well meaning, sure, but Emma couldn’t. Not when the walls of her heart felt thin, like they might collapse in on themselves at any moment.

Because none of this could work.

Even if Jo wanted to kiss her, too, it was too complicated. Jo was her boss. Her boss who was already being undermined by people who didn’t think a woman could write an action movie. This would just give them something else to complain about, to point to and say women had too many feelings, weren’t focused on what mattered. Of course it was men sitting on the sidelines who decided what mattered.

As Emma’s anxiety explained how this would never work, her pragmatism kicked in. She was a problem solver, a planner. If anyone could figure this out, it was her.

A few months from now, Jo would be working full-time on Agent Silver. Emma would be an associate producer on Innocents. Different projects, different hierarchies of supervision. She could move up the hiring process for Jo’s new assistant, if Jo agreed, and move to associate producer earlier. The optics of a relationship might not be excellent. Maybe they’d get dragged through the mud in the tabloids, but Emma had been through enough shit in the tabloids this year. She could take it. This could work.

Of course, it all hinged on Jo actually wanting her back. Just because she’d leaned in today didn’t mean she wanted more. What did Emma have to offer Jo freakin’ Jones?

Except—didn’t Jo always say how important Emma was to her? Wasn’t that what the whole fight with her dad was about? How much Emma helped her get through each day.

If Jo was interested in her—it made Emma reexamine their whole relationship. She knew better than to wonder if that was the reason Jo had hired her. Jo was too professional for that. Emma hadn’t had a crush on Jo then, either. So when had things changed for Jo? Was it possible that Jo had taken her to the SAGs because she liked her? Emma couldn’t believe that.

But she remembered Jo’s panic at upfronts, the way Jo touched her back. Emma had been the one worried about the rumors then. She’d had to remind Jo about them. Jo was willing to miss a panel for her. Jo canceled plans for her.

Over the summer, Jo had said Emma was hiring her next assistant, not her next Emma. Emma hadn’t thought much about it at the time, but now her heart leapt at the idea of being Jo’s Emma.

Maybe this wouldn’t work. Maybe saying anything was a terrible idea. But these feelings mattered now. The chance that they might be mutual mattered. Emma didn’t know what she was going to say the next day, but she had to say something.



* * *



—

    She stood next to her desk when Jo arrived. Indoors, and Jo had huge cat-eye sunglasses on. Emma held on to the coffee cup as Jo’s fingers closed around it.

“Can we talk?”

Emma felt Jo grip the cup tighter.

“Of course,” Jo said.

Emma swallowed and let go. She knew that tone of voice. That was Jo’s network voice. If you didn’t know her, her voice sounded agreeable and warm. But Emma knew her. She knew it was distanced and fake.

She followed Jo into her office anyway and closed the door behind them.

“What can I do for you?”

Emma closed her eyes. Her breath hissed out of her nose. She pressed her lips together, planted her feet, and opened her eyes. Jo hadn’t taken her sunglasses off.

“We need to talk about yesterday.”

Jo nodded, jaw set. “We do.”

This was it. Emma was going to tell her—well, maybe not everything. She’d test the waters before she told her everything. Emma took a breath and—

“My father has always made me behave in ways I shouldn’t,” Jo said. “I was unfocused and not thinking, and the situation it led to was inappropriate.”

The situation. Emma blinked.

“That’s not—”

“I apologize.” Jo smoothed her ponytail. “I won’t let it happen again.”

“No, it was fine.” Emma shifted from one foot to the other. “That’s what I wanted to say—I didn’t mind.”

Emma wasn’t done, but Jo acted like she was. “I appreciate that,” Jo said. “Not many people would understand my relationship with my father. If what happened yesterday had to happen with anyone, I’m grateful it was with you.”

She made it sound like it had been bad. Like she was embarrassed. Emma herself flushed at the thought. If Jo was embarrassed over the almost kiss, Emma couldn’t tell her how she felt. She tried one more time anyway.

“I’m here for you,” Emma said. “I want to be here for you. With your dad or the network or anything. Whatever you need.”