Single White Vampire (Argeneau #3)(92)

"What about my family? How would I explain… ?" She paused when he clasped her hands.

"You would have to disappear in ten years or so. The fact that you wouldn't age would be noticed, and you couldn't explain it to them without risking the lives of my entire family," he admitted. It was something he had hoped to keep to himself until after he had turned her and bound her to his side.

"Give up my family?" she whispered, obviously not happy with that point.

"Kate, come inside please?" His hands slid up her arms, caressing her. He wanted to make love to her, convince her with his passion. He knew how heady and addicting it could be. She wasn't the only one who experienced the double pleasure. He did, as well. Even as Luc shared his excitement with her, Kate had opened instinctively and shared her own with him. It was a rare experience, one borne of the trust and love they shared. At least he thought it was. He had never experienced it with any other woman. But she still hadn't said she loved him.

He didn't care, Lucern decided. He wanted her, he needed her, he loved her. His pride be damned, he would take her any way he could get her, and would use every trick he knew to do it. Tipping her chin up, he claimed her lips, kissing her with all the passion he possessed as he fitted their bodies together. It was as if she had been made for him. She was soft where he was hard, giving where he was not. Lucern embraced her tightly and groaned as he ground his body against hers. He had missed her presence, ached for her body, and longed for her smiles and soft laughter. He couldn't lose her now. And for a moment, he thought he would win.

Kate yielded against him with a sigh, her arms sliding up around his neck and holding him just as desperately as he held her. Little moans issued from her throat as his hand found and cupped one breast—but then he pushed too fast.

Breaking the kiss, he caught her wrist and pulled her toward the front door. "Let's go inside."

Kate resisted, the passion disappearing from her face and something akin to fear replacing it. She shook her head. "No, I can't. I need to think."

"You can think inside," he insisted, pulling her toward the door.

"No. You'll make love to me and bite me and my brain will turn to mush." She pulled her hand free and backed up to the edge of the porch. "I need to think, Luc. You're asking me to give up everything I know, everything I love."

"Everything you love?" he asked softly, pain on his face.

"No. I love…"

Lucern held his breath. If she said she loved him, too, nothing on earth would stop him from dragging her into the house and claiming and turning her. But she stopped short of admitting it, her expression wary. Shaking her head, she backed up to the edge of the porch. "I have to go home and think about this. I have to decide…"

Kate whirled away and started down the stairs, but he hurried to catch her arm. She turned frightened eyes on him, and Lucern knew she feared he would take the choice away. For a moment, he was terribly tempted. But then he recalled those words the psychic had said, and he knew he couldn't fight this dragon for Kate. He had fought his own dragons, bypassed his pride and fears and placed his heart in her hands. Now he had to trust that she was strong enough to keep it safe. He let go of her arm and said, "I'll call a cab for you." Kate relaxed, a grateful smile tipping her lips. "Thank you."



Chapter Twenty



Kate managed to get a flight back to New York that night. She spent the time before, during and after the flight wavering between happiness and despair. Lucern loved her. She wasn't just a meal to him. He wasn't dead, didn't sleep in a coffin, and he loved her. All of these were wonderful, marvelous things. But to be with him, she had to be "turned," had to give up her family and friends—or would have to ten years down the road. That was not marvelous.

Kate considered everything. She thought perhaps she could be with him and not turn, but the idea of aging, her body and mind deteriorating while Lucern stayed strong and sharp-minded, was unbearable. She suspected he would stay with her if that was her choice, but the idea of his hands playing over her wrinkled, sagging flesh, and leaning her gray head against his strong, muscular chest… No, she would never do that to them.

Of course, she could simply have an affair with Lucern, then break it off in ten or twenty years when people started mistaking her for his mother. But she could barely imagine walking away from him willingly now; doing so after loving and sharing her life with him for ten or twenty years would be impossible.

Which meant she had two options: allow him to turn her and give up everyone else she knew and loved in ten or twenty years, or walk away now, while she had the strength. Neither option seemed acceptable. Despite the distance that separated them since she left Nebraska and moved to New York, she was very close to her family. Her mother and father often came to New York to attend plays or to shop, and they stayed with her. And her sisters made several trips a year to New York, to visit, shop and just generally hang out with her. They were her family, knew and loved her better than anyone. They had encouraged her dream to write, had thought her intention to be an editor in the city was admirable. They were her support, the foundation of her life. But to have Lucern, she would have to give them up. Or to have them, she'd have to give up Lucern.

Kate hardly slept that night. In the morning, she showered, dressed and went out to catch the subway to Roundhouse. Her mind had been going in circles all night and she had yet to come up with an answer that would allow her to keep both Lucern and her family. It was making her crazy. She was desperate to get away from the concern for a bit, and hoped that some work would take her mind off of it.