Silver Tears(58)

“I of all people know. The fact is, it’s not completely dissimilar to the way you tried to break me by becoming Julienne’s best friend. Because that’s what you did, right? Played moms and dads with Jack while I’d lost everything. To crush me.”

“That’s not fair,” Ylva said in a low voice. “And you know it.”

Faye’s hands were shaking.

“From here on, keep your opinions on my private life to yourself. Focus on your job. And update me if there’s any movement on the shares.”

She grabbed her handbag and stood up so quickly that her chair fell over onto the floor. She threw a final, icy stare at Ylva before turning on her heel and leaving. She slammed the door hard behind her. The staff looked up before quickly returning their gazes to their screens.





Faye drove aimlessly along the narrow streets on Liding?. Picturesque suburbs, trees, and small cafés all drifted past outside the window. It was all perfect. Intentionally designed and impersonal.

She could never live here.

Faye regretted her outburst at Ylva. After all, she was the one who’d asked for the woman’s opinion. Demanded it. Put her friend in an impossible position. But Ylva had gone too far. Accusing David of lying. Why would he do that? Faye had seen for herself how crushed he had been after every conversation with Johanna. How she was doing everything to ruin his life. Had it been a mistake to hire Ylva at Revenge after all? Had Faye misread her? Perhaps she was jealous? What if she still secretly blamed Faye for her own misfortunes, for the separation from Jack, for being forced out of the industry?

Faye had picked her up out of the gutter despite the scars that Ylva had inflicted on her soul, scars that were still there. Like an invisible patchwork of lost dreams. And now, when Faye had finally begun to heal and finally found love, Ylva couldn’t let her enjoy it. Ylva didn’t appreciate how good things were for her. Thanks to Faye, she was staying with Alice. Thanks to Faye, she had a good job. And most important of all: she could have her daughter with her. Not like Faye, who was forced to be apart from Julienne. She missed her so much she was going to pieces.

Faye passed the Liding? shopping precinct and narrowly avoided running over a ginger cat hurrying across the street. She pulled out her phone and called David. She needed to hear his voice. The phone rang but he didn’t pick up.



“Fuck.”

When it went to voicemail, she threw the mobile phone onto the passenger seat in frustration. She took a deep breath and drove onto the Liding? Bridge.

She accelerated, zigzagging through the traffic. The speedometer was at one hundred and twenty kilometers per hour. She took delight in the speed. Instead of taking the new tunnel into the city, she turned off and headed toward G?rdet. She soon eased her foot off the accelerator and slowly passed the spot where—almost twenty years ago—she had kissed Jack for the first time. A quick, fleeting kiss. Then he’d turned on his heel and left. Left her behind. That kiss, that night—they had changed her life. Given her Julienne.

Her throat tightened. Tears stung behind her eyelids.

“Pull yourself together,” she muttered.

She carried on, heading toward Djurg?rden. She felt calmer now.

Faye pulled off onto a small track through the woods, not far from the Kakn?s Tower. She switched off the engine. Savored the tranquility. Then she reached for her mobile. She thought for a while, then made up a name, stole a couple of pictures from an American woman’s Facebook page, and created a fake Instagram account.

She followed a dozen strangers at random from the new account and then she entered Johanna Schiller’s name into the search field. Her profile was set to private. 1,489 followers. “Petra Karlsson” was hopefully going to be follower 1,490.





FJ?LLBACKA—THEN

The islets and skerries that we glided past were dark and shapeless shadows in the twilight. This was Tjurpannan, a region made up of marshes, rocky shorelines, and heath. The unsheltered location made the waters around here treacherous.

Mariners had feared Tjurpannan since the dawn of time. The absence of any outer archipelago meant it was completely exposed to the elements.

Tomas had emerged from the cabin and rubbed his eyes sleepily. He exchanged a few words with Roger, and I assumed they were talking about me. Perhaps they were worried I was going to talk when we got back. Sebastian was nowhere to be seen. If they decided to throw me overboard, would he protest? No, I knew my brother. He was afraid of a thrashing—all he respected were strength and fear.

The dinghy was at the stern. I went back to it. The wind tore and tugged at my clothing. There were bubbles whirling to the surface, created by the blades of the engine. The oars were lying inside the boat.

Roger and Tomas watched me suspiciously as I went over to it and sat down not far from them.

“Be careful,” said Tomas. “It’s blowing pretty hard and you know what they say about Tjurpannan.”

“No,” I said, despite knowing full well what they said. What was more, I was surprised at his sudden consideration for me.



“If you fall in here they will never find you. It’s the currents, you know.”

He turned to Roger, took the last beer from the crate, and opened it.

I slowly and imperceptibly began to reach out my hand for one of the oars. A trough in the waves made the boat lurch. I braced myself against the rail. After a couple of seconds, I made another attempt.