Silver Tears(43)

The girl, who had dreadlocks and a body covered in tattoos, repeated what she had said on the previous two occasions.

“Wait a little longer.”

When she had disappeared, Alice shook her head.

“No, I’m not going to fucking wait,” she said, stuffing her face with the rest of the cookie.

Two minutes later, Faye could feel her fingertips pricking. She blinked a few times, and then looked searchingly at Ylva, who was staring at her hand with her mouth wide open. The world shook. It was like being lowered into an aquarium with fish swimming around in disco balls.

She fluttered her eyelids and looked at Alice.

Alice’s lips were moving, but Faye couldn’t work out whether she had lost her own hearing or whether Alice had lost the power of speech. She looked around. Everything was ebbing and flowing, swaying. She tried to speak but the moment she opened her mouth, she became uncertain about whether she had already said what she wanted to say. She thought about it until she realized she had forgotten what she wanted to say in the first place.



Ylva was giggling, forming her fingers into different shapes that she claimed were animals and holding them up.

“It’s a monkey—can you tell, Faye? A monkey.”

She suddenly stood up and Faye stretched out a hand toward her.

“You should probably stay here,” she tried to say, but her tongue wouldn’t obey her and Alice burst into a torrent of laughter.

Alice placed a hand on Faye’s.

“Sorry.”

“For what?”

“For being such a bitch before. For everything.”

They fell into each other’s arms.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“I’m so glad you’ve found that David guy,” Alice slurred.

She stroked Faye’s forearm with her fingertips.

“Me too.”

Faye had never felt better. The initial fear had gone. Everything was wonderful, warm, and friendly. She smiled and waved to a pair of Asian tourists.

Alice spouted a long tirade of words, and Faye was able to make out only the occasional one.

“Faye?”

Alice tapped her on the shoulder.

“Faye?”

She took her eyes off the tourists.

“Where’s Ylva?” asked Alice.

“I’m Ylva. And I’m Alice. I’m falling and falling and this is wonderland. You’re a tiny rabbit!”

Her mouth was dry as sandpaper. Faye reached for the water.

Alice’s head was moving in circles, as if she was vibing to a song, but no matter how much Faye tried she couldn’t hear anything.

“I think we need to find Ylva.”



Alice stood up, supporting herself against the table.

“Ylva!” she called out. “Ylva!”

Faye got to her feet. She was on the verge of falling over, but was caught by Alice. For a moment, they almost tumbled to the floor, but Alice managed to keep them upright.

“We’ll find her. Let’s head off on an expedition to find our friend.”

“Let’s do it.”

They slowly went down the steps and staggered unsteadily toward a door. It turned out to be a back door and they emerged into a deserted, narrow alley. Ylva was lying on the ground on her back next to some bins. Faye had a shock when she saw her eyes—she could only see the whites and Ylva appeared to be having physical spasms.

Her dizziness was gone at once. Faye was sharp and completely clearheaded as she threw herself to her knees beside Ylva and tried to bring her to life, without success.

Faye could feel the panic rising.

“Ylva!” she screamed. “Ylva, wake up!”

Behind her she heard Alice calling out.

“Call an ambulance! She’s dying! Please call an ambulance!”

Faye put Ylva in the recovery position and stroked her sweaty brow while Alice rushed back inside the coffee shop to fetch a member of the staff.

“Ylva, don’t die. Please, Ylva, don’t die.”

Faye grabbed hold of her small hand with its bitten nails and held it firmly. Memories of sitting beside Chris in the hospital in the final hours came back to haunt her. Why had they come here? Why had they had to try space cookies? In truth, Faye hated drugs, hated not being in control. Now the adventure had cost them Ylva’s life. Why couldn’t she have made do with not knowing? So goddamn fucking stupid. The guilt was suffocating her.

“There they are.” Behind her, Faye heard Alice’s voice. Tense. Almost a falsetto. “Help her. You’ve got to help her. She’s dying!”



Faye turned her head. A burly man was sauntering toward them.

“Hurry up,” Faye screeched desperately.

Jesus, they were slow! He didn’t seem to be taking it seriously—he didn’t look at all worried.

He stopped beside Faye and bent forward.

“Don’t worry, ladies, this happens all the time. Her blood sugar level is low. I’ll give you some sugar for her. Then get her in a cab back to your hotel and give her some food and water.”

Ylva suddenly opened her eyes and Faye sobbed with relief.

“Are you sure?” said Alice, flinging her arms around the astonished man.

“I’m sure, ladies. This happens about ten times every day,” he said, laughing.