Siege of Shadows (Effigies #2)(40)

“We’re not headed to the same place, are we?” asked Chae Rin. I could hear the sound of music from her headphones as they dangled down her chest, her phone deep in her left pocket.

“You and Lake will be in Unit Two, heading out toward Dover Port with Unit Three following close behind as backup. Belle and Maia are heading northwest in Unit Seven with Unit Six as their backup. For security purposes, you won’t be told the location until you get there.”

“I’ll be with you, Maia,” said Eveline, picking up a gun off her table. “And a few other agents.”

“Do I get one of those?” Chae Rin watched, far too interested, as Eveline fitted the gun inside the holster on the small of her back. “Hey,” she added when Howard gave her a sidelong look, “unlike some of us, I can’t generate my own weapon. It’s for protection.”

I peered around the hangar. “You really think we’re going to need all these people?” Several agents were suiting up and equipping themselves. Preparing for Saul. Felt more like preparing for a war. My stomach lurched as I watched them pack into their respective vans.

“We know it’s a possibility that Saul might launch some kind of attack to find the rings,” said Howard. “He wouldn’t come unless he had some trick up his sleeve. We want to be prepared.”

“Don’t worry.” Rhys’s tone was much lighter as he rolled up the map, sweet enough for my heart to speed up. The difference between his boy-next-door and boy-bred-for-battle personas was like night and day. But both were dangerous. “I’ll be one of the agents in your van. And as I seem to remember, we’ve worked pretty well together in the past, right?”

I remembered too. “Okay, whatever,” I said, avoiding his smile. “We should go get ready. Get in position or something.”

I thought I’d be better prepared for the look on Rhys’s face, the quiet but unmistakable pang of hurt in his eyes as he watched me. I pretended not to notice. It was better than dealing with the sudden twinge of pain I felt upon realizing that if he was really innocent, then I was hurting him unnecessarily.

But if this was a ruse and he was playing me . . .

“Good luck,” I said to Howard with a quick nod before taking off.

The awful sensation corroding my insides was the same I felt every day I avoided telling Uncle Nathan that I’d become an Effigy. I would look in the mirror and wonder how I’d become so pathetic, or if I’d been like that from the beginning.

You’re so annoying! Just confront him, I ordered myself, but I kept walking. The thought of confronting Rhys over what he might have done sent a fresh surge of panic through me. Because knowing the truth meant consequences I wasn’t prepared for. Because I didn’t want to believe he could hurt a friend in cold blood. Because I was a coward.

And because of that other thing.

You don’t believe me . . . because of your crush? Pitiful. This body. This life. You don’t deserve it.

I could still remember the way she’d laughed at me. Natalya . . . She was probably watching everything right now, more determined than ever to take me over.

That is, if sending me into a tailspin of doubt wasn’t her plan all along.

“Oi, Maia.” Lake tugged my sleeve as we walked side by side down the hangar, past the agents loading weapons. “Something going on between you and Aidan?”

I stopped. “No. Why? Who told you? What are you even talking about?”

“Relax!” Lake laughed in surprise before lowering her voice. “Wow, try a little harder to act less guilty, yeah? Seriously, you guys have been weird since he came back.”

“What ‘you guys’?” I could feel my mouth drying. “There’s no ‘you guys.’ Since when has there been a ‘you guys’?” Luckily, Chae Rin was already off somewhere hounding some agents to lend her a firearm “for protective purposes.” Otherwise she’d have been picking apart my obvious insecurities like a barely healed scab.

Lake, on the other hand, only shrugged. “I dunno. A while ago you guys seemed to be getting along well.” I hated the way her grin spread across her face as she added, “Really well. Especially on his part. It always seemed to me like he was a bit taken with—”

“That’s not possible.” The heat rose up from my cheeks.

“Not possible?” Lake made a face as she adjusted the tight black bun at the top of her head. “What does that mean?”

I struggled to find the words. “I mean, that can’t happen.”

“Why not? Goodness, you need to have a bit more self-esteem, yeah? There’s nothing wrong with you.” She patted me on the shoulder. “You’re a bit neurotic and judgmental, but aren’t we all?” She paused. “Actually, no, it’s just you.”

Self-esteem was probably one reason. Even before my family died and my introversion went into hyperdrive, I’d found the comfort of my own room and a good gaming console more reliable and relaxing to be around than the opposite sex. The other reason was something I didn’t dare utter here, to anyone.

Not until I was sure of the truth about Rhys.

“I’m sorry. I’m not good with . . . romance feelings.” My stilted delivery made that pretty clear. I couldn’t blame Lake for laughing.

“Anyway, don’t worry about that stuff. If it happens, it happens.” And she gave me one last slap on the shoulder. “Nothing wrong with a little love on the battlefield, I always say. Plus, he’s really hot. Pretty face, banging bod.” She shrugged. “You could do worse.”