Sicko(31)

I tilt my head. “What?”

J is tugging me through the front doors before I can wrap my head around what just happened.



It was dark. So dark that the chandelier which hangs from the marble ceiling was the only thing that was struck by the full moonlight breaching through the drapes. Thick, blood-red curtains shaded the lounge room, and four men sat at chairs, their legs thrown over their thighs.

Not one caught my eye. I had never seen them in my life, and up until last month, James had been training me.

Splitting me open and fucking me until my insides were sushi and the only name that fell from my lips was his, and the syllables weren’t laced with love, or passion. They were poisoned by the hate that pulsed through my veins.

He thought he had conditioned me to handle his brutality, which in essence he had, but he forgot one of the most important things of all.

Cruelty hardens the skin to which it is pounded upon, so he wasn’t only grooming me to become—what he says—his sex slave. But he was also handing me the nails to which I needed to build up my walls.

The collar pinched my neck as he tugged on the chain. “Gentlemen…”

They all seemed to shuffle in their seats before my eyes found the ground. I knew better than to pay attention to anything and everything that happens around me.

I wasn’t to look at anyone.

I wasn’t to touch anyone.

I was to allow people to touch me—anyone. Whoever James said could, would. Whoever. Whenever. Though we hadn’t taken that step yet—until tonight—I was well trained on what I should and should not do in the presence of whoever he took me to.

“Diamond…” one of the men purred. I couldn’t see him, but the rasp in his voice illustrated how many cigarettes he had smoked in his lifetime.

“Gentlemen…” James said, but I kept my eyes on my toes. White as snow, to signify purity. The day after James took my virginity, I started my white nail polish trend.

“You brought us a gift? You shouldn’t have.” Goose bumps rose over my skin as the other man’s voice drifted through the space between us.

“Not tonight,” J’s authoritative voice boomed through, and it’s then that I got the first hint that maybe, just maybe, he ran this ship too.

He tugged on my collar and I fell forward, dropping to my knees. Carpet burn tore through my skin as his fist found my hair and he gently caressed it. As though a lover would. As though he doesn’t ruin my mind anytime we’re alone together.

“Tonight, you will all have the privilege to watch me, but none of you will touch.” He pauses, and I still haven’t raised my head up to see the other four older men. After a series of grunts and approvals, he releases my head. “Very good. First, we will handle business.”

Finally, I look out the corner of my eye when movement catches my attention. Another room adjacent to this one is in view, hidden behind a curtain. There was a girl curled up in the corner, afraid. Where she is is obviously the main area and we’re in a private room.

There were a sea of bodies inside. Young girls, old men. The nature was obvious. As quickly as I stole a peek, my eyes snapped back to the ground and I followed the pattern of the carpet.

Just who the hell is James?

They spoke back and forth with one another, with each passing minute indenting carpet patterns into my knees. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, James shook the collar, bringing me back to my feet. My long brown hair fell over my slender shoulders. My collarbones were too sharp, my skin a shade too pale. My tummy rumbled as I thought about the food I haven’t had in three days. I was midway through punishment for attending a party with Sloane, at which James assumed I had slept with someone else. If I didn’t tell him the name of this mystery man I had supposedly slept with, I had to go seven days without food. I was allowed water, but only by his control. Some days I would barely get a drip. Today was one of those days. I barely had the strength to stand on my own feet, so for once, I was thankful for the collar.

I followed behind him into the room. The scent of sweat and a sweet-scented oil drowns my senses. I almost trembled right there when James led me through the sea of bodies and to the other side of the room. Dark walls bleed with the blue LED lighting. There’s a circle bar in the middle, multiple stools tucked beneath it, and lounges and sofas lined out through the room. In every corner, someone was having sex.

I wanted to know why I was here and what this place was. I raised my head and caught that same young girl curled up in the corner, sweat matting her blonde strands to her forehead. Instantly, she found me. Pain flashed over her doe eyes as her lip trembled. My mouth fell open, willing words to come out for her. Needing them to come out for her. Even if it was just a small reassuring smile. You’re not alone, I wanted to say. Her forehead dropped to her knees as she turned her head side to side. She was in a bad way, even I could see.

“Come forward, Jade. Don’t be afraid.” But I was. His words meant nothing to me. Every flick of lighting, rhythm of whatever song that was playing, and breath I took, I feared him and what he was capable of. Pushing open a door, painted in the darkest black, he gestured inside, dropping the leash. “Enter. I will be back in a second.”

I did as I was told, falling forward and dropping to my knees in the center of the room. Dark-colored dots flashed around the area, my breathing labored.