Shuffle, Repeat(78)

“Someday, there’s going to be a Grown-Up Me,” I tell him. “That Grown-Up Me is going to have High School You to thank for a little part of who she is. Future Grown-Up Me says thank you. Thank you so much for helping her turn into herself.”

Itch stares back at me and I realize we’ve both stopped swaying and my fingers are gripping his shoulders. I relax them and feel him relax, too. “Tell her she’s welcome,” Itch says. “I mean, when you see her. When you see Grown-Up You, tell her I said you’re welcome.”

“I will,” I say, and we smile genuine smiles at each other…until Itch’s gaze drifts past me. His expression changes.

Akemi is back.

I turn so I can apologize to her, so I can explain that I’m not trying to do anything inappropriate with her boyfriend and that we’re just talking…but it’s not Akemi.

It’s Oliver.

He is standing at the edge of the dance floor, watching us with a dark, furious look. He’s seeing Itch’s hands on my hips, my hands on his shoulders. I know Oliver saw our smiles and the way we were staring into each other’s eyes. It must look like one more lie I told him: about being done with Itch.

Panic rises in me and I tug away from Itch but it’s too late. Oliver is gone.

I whirl back to Itch. “I’m sorry,” I tell him. “I have to go.”

“Wait.” Despite my need to find Oliver, I let Itch fold his arms around me. It’s a hug that would have felt awkward when we were dating, but somehow, now that it’s not supposed to be romantic, it’s just nice. Itch feels nice. “If he doesn’t want you, he’s a jackass,” Itch tells me.

“Thanks.” I separate myself from him just as Akemi arrives.

“I’ll take him back now,” she says, reaching for Itch’s hand.

“You should,” I say. “You guys make a supercute couple.”

? ? ?

I charge in the direction Oliver disappeared into the crowd but realize there are several doors leading out of the ballroom. I choose one and find myself back in the ornate lobby. A uniformed bellboy looks up when I race in. “Can I help you, miss?”

“Did a guy come through here?” I ask breathlessly.

The bellboy shakes his head. “Can you be more specific?”

“Tall, blond, really cute?”

He looks like he’s considering. “There was this one dude, but I think he had brown hair. He was probably closer to my height, and I’m not that tall.”

“Just now?”

“No. Ten minutes ago. Maybe more like fifteen—”

“Thanks,” I say, not meaning it at all, and run back toward the ballroom.

? ? ?

An empty corridor. I almost turn back but then I notice the two doors leading to bathrooms. I rush up to the one that says MEN and pause. All my internal rules prohibit me from opening this door. I knock on it and wait, but nothing happens. I reach out, turn the handle, and am about to walk in with my eyes squeezed shut when the door to the women’s room bangs open and Ainsley appears.

“June, what are you doing?”

If Ainsley was gorgeous in normal, everyday street clothes, right now she’s an actual angel. Her skin glows bronze against her glittery white dress, and her green eyes are wider and brighter than usual.

“I’m knocking on this bathroom door.” World’s most obvious statement.

She sizes me up. “I thought you hated prom.”

“I did.” I don’t want to tell her I’m looking for Oliver, because I don’t want her help, or anything to do with her. That brief flash of friendship I had with Ainsley…it wasn’t real.

And then the bathroom door opens, and of course Theo comes through it. “Was that you knocking?” His eyes ooze up and down my body before flicking to Ainsley. “I’d do a three-way. Since it’s prom and all.”

Back to this. Forever this. Some of us have the ability to change, to shed our skin, to move forward. And some of us…are Theo.

“I don’t suppose there’s anyone else in there?” I ask him.

“Nope,” says Theo. “But if you want to go in and check, me and Ainsley will wait right here. Or, better yet, you could be the one to wait here and guard the door while the two of us go in and—”

“Shut up,” says Ainsley, and for a second, I think she’s talking to me. But her eyes are narrowed at Theo. “Get a new joke,” she tells him before turning to me. “We dropped our car with the valet, but Oliver didn’t. He parked in the lot behind the hotel, because he said he wanted to be able to make a quick getaway.” She points back in the direction I came from. “Go left down that hallway off the lobby.” Ainsley sees my hesitation. “I’m telling the truth,” she says. “I didn’t always, but right now I am.”

“Thank you, Ainsley.” It comes out sounding heartfelt, and I belatedly realize it’s because I feel that way. “For real.”

Ainsley cocks her head and regards me, like she’s trying to figure something out. “You know that thing about keeping your friends close and your enemies closer?” she says. “I was doing that. Except you weren’t ever an enemy, were you?”

“Only to myself.”

“Fair enough.” She makes a shooing gesture. “Hurry. Before he leaves.”