Shuffle, Repeat(51)
“Oliver doesn’t know, right?”
“I don’t think so,” she says. “Marley says he hero-worships his dad. She doesn’t want to jerk the rug out from under him. Besides, it doesn’t really have anything to do with him.”
I personally think it does have something to do with Oliver, but I guess it’s not my business. Besides, if Marley and Bryant are working it out, then hopefully this will blow over and Oliver will never hear about it. I know how Oliver idolizes his father. This would kill him.
“You and I really shouldn’t be talking about it,” my mom says.
“I know.”
I’m curious, but promises have been made.
It would be better if I didn’t know anything at all.
But I do, and I said I’d keep my mouth shut.
? ? ?
I’m weaving through the crowded hall on my way to calculus when Zoe Smith grabs my elbow and pulls me to the wall by the lockers. “I need you. Save me.”
I look around but don’t see any dragons or people with guns. “From what?”
Inexplicably, Zoe bursts into a gale of laughter that goes on way too long. She beams at me. “You are totally right!” she says in a super-loud voice. “He does do that with his tongue!”
“What?” It comes out as a horrified hiss, under my breath. It doesn’t quiet Zoe at all. Her laughter scales up in volume.
“That’s so funny!” she screams.
Maybe Zoe has gone crazy.
“I didn’t say anything funny,” I tell her, but she’s stopped laughing. In fact, her smile is gone completely and she’s gazing at something beyond me. I turn to see that Itch is down the hall, walking away from us. He’s holding hands with…
“Liesel Glassman,” Zoe tells me. “They’re dating now.”
Wait.
“Weren’t you guys together at bowling like a week ago?”
“Yep,” Zoe says. “I thought everything was fine, but apparently it wasn’t. He broke up with me on Saturday and here it is, five days later, and he’s already dating Liesel.” Her hands fly to her hips. “Do you think he was cheating on me?”
“I have no—”
“Did he ever cheat on you?”
“No!” I am completely out of my element in this conversation. “Well…not really. It’s murky.”
“I knew it!” says Zoe. “God, I hate men.”
“Me too,” I tell her, although it’s not true.
“Thanks for helping. You’ve been screwed over by him, too, so I knew you’d do it.”
“But he didn’t—”
“Catch you later.”
And she’s gone.
High school is ridiculous.
? ? ?
Shaun completely disagrees with me about Oliver’s parents. “You should tell him.” We’re huddling together, alone on the bleachers. “If someone knew a secret about my family, I’d be really pissed if they didn’t tell me. It’s not fair that Oliver doesn’t know if you do.”
“But my mom thinks—”
“Of course your mom wants to make your decisions for you. She’s a parent. It’s her job to control everything you do.”
I narrow my eyes at him. Shaun’s lips are pressed together in a thin line and his shoulders are hunched. “Are you okay?”
“No.” Shaun slumps. “My parents won’t let me visit Kirk over spring break.”
“What? Why?”
“They’re saying they don’t know his parents, so I can’t go.”
“Can’t you set up a phone call between them or something?”
“I tried that.” Shaun heaves a deep sigh. “Dad says it would force him and Mom into deception. Kirk still isn’t out to his parents, so any conference call or whatever would mean Dad and Mom pretending that Kirk and I are just friends, when they know we’re more than that. Dad says they’re not going to lie to other parents about their own kid.”
“That sucks.”
“I get it,” says Shaun. “It’s not fair. None of this is fair. The thing is, the only reason lying is even on the table is because of Kirk. He could end this right now by just telling his parents he’s gay.”
“You’re mad at Kirk.”
“Yeah.” Shaun sighs again. “But only because I’m crazy about him.”
“Sorry,” I say, and tilt my head against his shoulder.
? ? ?
The base of the school flagpole is a warm line up the center of my back. I’m leaning against it while I wait for Mom. Even though Shaun is still pouting about Kirk, and even though I just found out I got a mediocre grade on a physics test, and even though I miss talking to Oliver, today is glorious, because it finally feels like spring is coming. The sky is the clearest of blues and crocuses are coming up along the edge of the sidewalk. I’m wearing a black scoop-neck ballerina top over a dark gray wrap skirt, and for the first time in months, I don’t need a sweater.
Mom is already on spring break, so she’s driven me every morning this week. I see Oliver at school, of course, but it’s not the same as having that alone time with him every day. Yesterday, I overheard Theo ask him if we’d ended our little exchange—transportation for me, sexual favors for Oliver—and Oliver told him to shut it.