Shuffle, Repeat(41)

hey, are you there?



—and he answers right away.


yep, on way to work. what’s up?

itch & i broke up.

u ok?



I pause before writing back but decide to go with the truth.


i’m sad



There’s a pause before his message appears on my screen:


sorry, hon. he’s a fool if he can’t see how beautiful you are. best girl in the world. hands down.



I could clarify. I could explain that I’m the one who did the breaking up, that I’m only sad because it’s the end of something, because change is hard, because change is scary. My heart doesn’t have to be broken to ache.

But all that is too complicated, so I just type back two words:


thx, dad



? ? ?

I eat lunch in the library. We’re not supposed to have food in here, because they think we’ll drop a pizza in the books or something, but I huddle in a study desk and hide my sandwich behind a magazine.

No one bothers me.

? ? ?

When Darbs enters Spanish class, she makes a beeline for my chair and pokes me in the shoulder. “First day back and you’re already sitting with the pom-poms?”

“No,” I tell her. “I ate in the library.”

“We’re not allowed to eat in the library.”

“Since when do you follow the rules?”

“I don’t,” Darbs says. “But you do. What’s up?” She slides into the chair beside me, ignoring the huff of annoyance from Zoe Smith, who had been about to sit down.

“Itch and I broke up.”

Darbs nods in a way that I think is supposed to imply infinite wisdom. “Now it all makes sense.”

“Why? Did he say something at lunch?”

“He didn’t show, either. Why’d you do it?”

“Why do you assume I was the dumper and not the dumpee?”

“Come on, June.” Darbs tilts her head at me. “For a one-note guy like Itch, all that poser crap—eating lunch with the jocks and listening to you talk about football games—it was a lot. He was bending over backward to try to make you happy.” I blink at her and she gives me a compassionate smile. “But you checked out a while ago.” I nod and she reaches across the aisle to hug me. “It’s okay, Junie. Having a change of heart doesn’t make you a bad person.”

I feel a lump rise in my throat and I swallow it back. “How are things with you?” I ask so we can stop talking about Itch. “Any news on the Yana front?”

“Nope,” says Darbs. “But I made out with Ethan Erickson over winter break.” I almost choke on my gum. Darbs whacks me on the back, and after a second, my coughing morphs into laughter. “What’s so funny?” she asks when it’s clear I’m not about to die.

“I made out with Ethan Erickson over summer break.”

She stares at me and then she’s cracking up, too. When the bell rings, we’re still laughing so much that Se?ora Fairchild gives us a stern stare from the front of the room and refuses to start class until we calm down.

? ? ?

“How was your weekend?” Oliver asks once I’m strapped in and we’re heading onto the road.

“Great. I caught this punk band at a warehouse in Ypsilanti. The cover charge included a free download, so fear not: you’ll be hearing them multiple times just as soon as I prove to you yet once again that I am right and you are wrong.”

“Are they loud and screamy?”

“The loudest and the screamiest.”

“Awesome. Who’d you go with? Itch?”

Oh, right. This.

It’s been a full week—one in which Itch has avoided me like the prom, and in which I still haven’t told Oliver that Itch and I broke up. It just doesn’t seem relevant anymore. Or at least, it doesn’t until Oliver mentions him and I remember he still thinks we’re together.

Crap.

“No,” I tell Oliver. “It was a girls’ night. Just Lily and Darbs and me.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Lily likes punk?”

“Lily tolerates punk,” I tell him. “But she loves punk boys.”

“I would not have guessed that,” Oliver says, shaking his head. “People are so interesting.”

“Totally.”

? ? ?

The next day, I decide to take action. At least in one area of my life.

I sprint out of world history when the bell rings, and I somehow make it into the adjoining building and to the second floor just as Itch is coming out of Ms. Jackson’s class.

“Hey,” I say to him.

“Hey.” He doesn’t break his stride. I have to whip around and jog to catch up to him.

“Slow down,” I say. “Please.” Itch does, but not very much, so I grab his sleeve. “Actually, can you stop walking? I just raced here from the main building and I kinda need a second to catch my breath.”

He stops, shaking free from my hold. “What do you want, June?”

“It doesn’t have to be like this,” I tell him. “This thing where we avoid each other and make it weird for everyone else.”

“Everyone else is fine.”