Shipped(3)
Graeme must have figured out somewhere along the line that I was onto him, because over the past year he’s become nothing less than the bane of my professional existence. Anytime I want something done quickly, there’s always a reason he can’t do it. If I have an idea, he questions it. I send him an email? I get a curt response—never mind a please or thank-you.
Apart from the occasional video conference, I’ve never actually seen Graeme in person, since he works full time from home. So I like to think that despite his steel-cut jaw and those deep-set eyes, he has spindly arms and legs and cottage cheese breath to match his personality. I picture a short, paunchy Graeme cackling and dancing around a fire pit holding a pitchfork.
Logging in to Outlook, I punch out an email like I’m entering the nuclear codes.
To: [email protected]
Cc: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Social Media OVERDUE
Graeme,
I noticed that my requested social media posts promoting the airfare deal for all remaining 2019 “Coastal British Columbia & the Inside Passage” departures were not published today. As this deal expires in a week, and none of the September voyages are currently at capacity, I expect to see it marketed robustly on our social media platforms. See the Google Doc I shared last week for content. Please address ASAP.
Thanks,
Henley
Henley R. Evans
Marketing Manager, North and Central America
Seaquest Adventures | www.seaquestadventures.com
As soon as I click send, I snag my phone and tap on the box next to Task #1. A big black line appears, crossing it out. I inhale deeply through my nose and a sense of calm slowly spreads over me.
At least my end of this task is done. For now. Graeme better hop to it and get my shit posted though, like, yesterday.
My muscles relax as I nestle into the soft cushions and stretch out my legs. Crossing my feet at the ankles on the coffee table, I read tasks #2 and #3 on my list:
Task #2: Make student loan payment.
I make a retching noise in my throat and my shoulders tense automatically. I need to double-check my savings account and monthly budget before I drop that behemoth. Reluctantly, I reassign this task for tomorrow. I don’t have the emotional energy to deal with it right now.
Task #3: Outline strategic management final paper, due Monday.
That I can do. But just as I’m about to set my laptop aside to grudgingly pull my textbook out of my bag, my in-box dings.
Graeme has replied. Nostrils flaring, I open his email.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Social Media OVERDUE
soon -G
Graeme Crawford-Collins
Social Media Manager
Seaquest Adventures | www.seaquestadventures.com
I blink.
Blink again.
Soon? Is that soon like right now soon or next Tuesday soon? I scrunch my hand into a fist on top of Noodles. He purrs louder. This is so… unacceptable. And not just because he left our boss out of the CC. I grind my teeth until my jaw aches.
Graeme Crawford-Collins. Graham Cracker-Collins. I can’t let him blow me off again. I won’t.
Bookings for Pacific cruises from Alaska to Panama have gone up every single quarter since I joined the company—thanks in large part to my tireless efforts—and I will not see my track record ruined because of him. Especially not now, not when there are rumblings that Seaquest Adventures is creating a brand-new director of digital marketing position—one that I would do anything to land.
I’d work overtime. Pursue my master’s in business administration at night. Volunteer for extra projects. Oh wait, I already do all of those things, so that promotion should have my name plastered all over it. But only if I don’t fumble the game-winning pass late in the fourth quarter. I crack my knuckles against my jaw and, with a growl, drain my wine, slam the glass onto the coffee table, and click reply.
Gird your loins, Graeme Crawford-Collins. Because you’re about to get a dose of Henley thunder.
2
To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: Social Media OVERDUE
Graeme,
“Soon” is a relative term. Please define.
Thanks,
Henley
Zing, take that, Graeme!
Okay, so it’s not exactly thunder, but it is pretty biting in an understated sort of way. I smirk as I click send. I drum my fingers against my laptop. Chew on my thumbnail. Click refresh on my in-box. Nothing. Just when I figure Graeme has logged off for the night, an email pops up with a ding.
To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: Social Media OVERDUE
Soon, adverb
In or after a short time
Without undue time lapse
When I get to it
-G
I cough in disbelief before fury surges through my veins. Squeezing my laptop in a death grip, I rearrange myself so I’m sitting cross-legged on the couch. Noodles hops down with a discontented meow at being jostled.
The man can’t be bothered to send me anything except one-word emails 97 percent of the time, and when he finally does deign to communicate like a normal human being, it’s a multipart dictionary definition steeped in sarcasm. A growl works its way up my throat.