Ship It(35)

Of course, I could use this opportunity in front of the cameras to make a scene, talk about SmokeHeart, speak my mind. And maybe I should, maybe this is my only chance. But making a scene here isn’t going to help convince Jamie to make it canon, it’s only gonna piss him off, and possibly get me sent home. This interview is small potatoes, and I’m gunning for the whole hog. So I look at Paula innocently and nod, the poster tube clutched under my arm.

“This is a dream come true,” I say, which is completely true.

She smiles and hugs me. “You’re gonna do great.” She gestures to a woman in headphones who comes over with audio equipment and starts attaching a tiny mic to my shirt.

Across the booth, Forest is getting mic’ed up as well. He’s completely ignoring the crush of fans taking photos and video and calling his name. I realize, horrifyingly, that some of the fans have their phones pointed at me, too. I tilt my head down, letting my hair fall in front of my face, and take a few breaths. Okay, okay. No big deal, right? Just answer some questions on camera with a hundred jealous fans watching me from the sidelines and thousands more livestreaming it at home, as I sit next to a guy who thinks I’m a joke. No sweat.

An assistant guides me to the tall chair I’m supposed to sit in. Forest is seated in a second chair already. He’s wearing a NASA shirt…. Was he wearing that earlier? I can’t remember. We make flickering eye contact.

“‘Show me your fics.’” He reads my shirt slowly like he doesn’t quite process it. Then he looks at me and says, “Heart-of-lightness, right?” He seems hesitant, like he doesn’t know how to behave around me, his hands clasped in his lap.

“What?” I ask tightly, my stomach falling like it’s made out of lead. How does he know about my Tumblr name?

“That’s you, right? Heart-of-lightness? I like the name.” We’re both talking low so the fans nearby can’t listen in.

“Where did you hear that?” I demand.

“I met some fans. They like your writing,” he says with a shrug. “Is that what you were working on earlier? On the bus? I’d love to read your stuff sometime.”

“I don’t think so,” I say flatly. “If you’re going to get defensive about a basic SmokeHeart question, you’re definitely not ready for fanfiction.”

“You know what, at least I’m trying here,” he says with a hint of frustration. “What do I have to do to prove that I’m not the homophobic asshole you think I am?”

“I never said you were—”

“I have gay friends,” he says. “I love them. I went to a gay wedding once. I’m glad Moonlight won the Oscar.” I roll my eyes. “I once told my dad I thought Jasper Graves from Red Zone was handsome, and he didn’t speak to me for a week.”

Whoa. That stops me. “That’s terrible,” I say, my eyebrows furrowing. I’ve never even thought about what kind of environment Forest might have grown up in.

“Yeah, well, guess what? Flash forward ten years and now Graves is fired and I’m trying to replace him.” He holds out his hands and smirks. “Wait’ll my dad hears about that.”

His arrogance really knows no bounds, does it? I was almost feeling sorry for him, too. “Good for you, Forest,” I say, and look away.

“Claire, what’s it take?” His smirk disappears. He’s practically begging me now. “Can’t we just start over?”

It’s like he wants absolution, but I’m not his priest. I’m just some “crazy” girl, right? I glance over at Paula, who is watching us from behind the cameras. I know she put him up to this, that he wouldn’t be even trying unless she was forcing him to. Forest doesn’t actually care about me, he just wants me not to hate him anymore because it looks bad. Well, that’s not my problem.

I lean over my chair to get closer to him, and I make eye contact so he knows I’m being serious. “When will you understand that you’re not the center of the universe, Forest Reed?” I don’t say it cruelly, just matter-of-factly. This is true: “You think all these people are here for you? They don’t know you. They love the character you play. You? You’re just a haircut with a battle-ax.”

His jaw is tight as he holds my look, then gives me a brief nod and sits back in his seat.

I’m a little amazed that I may have actually rattled him. I didn’t think anything could shake his confidence. I almost feel bad, but I remind myself that he’s a grown adult man and he can handle a little criticism from a teenager. Right?

“Everyone ready?” Paula asks, coming over.

“Let’s do it,” Forest says stiffly.

“Sit up straight, Claire. Don’t forget to smile. We’re rolling in three…two…”

As the camera rolls, Forest puts on his big charmer-boy smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners. He combs his hair back off his forehead with his hand in a perfectly practiced move. He looks fine again, normal. He looks like the Forest I know from my computer screen. And I remember… he’s an actor. He’s always acting. I don’t really know him at all.


I’VE NEVER HAD more faith in this publicity team than when they asked Claire literally one question and gave the rest to me. The girl’s a loose cannon. If it were up to me, she wouldn’t even be allowed in front of a camera, but apparently they think she’s “good for the brand,” so what do I know.