Shelter(12)

When Kyung returns to the hospital in the morning, it feels like he’s gone back in time. The waiting room is no longer crowded with policemen. Instead, it’s filled with Koreans.

The irritable woman at the front desk, the same one from the day before, stands up and snaps at him as he walks in. “Can you do something about them? Visiting hours just started, but they’ve all been sitting here since seven.”

Kyung shakes his head and continues down the hall. There’s nothing he can do about these people. He has no rank with them, although they all seem to know who he is. He can feel the weight of their judgment as he walks toward his mother’s room. Doesn’t go to church. Not dutiful to his parents. Took a white girl for a wife. He has no idea how the news spread so fast, but as he enters Mae’s room, an even more confusing sight awaits him. Standing at his mother’s bedside are five men: his father, Connie, Tim, Lentz, and the Reverend Sung. All of them have their eyes closed and their heads bowed in prayer. They’re holding hands limply, not quite committed to the act.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, not certain who deserves the question most.

Everyone looks up. Reverend Sung opens one eye and quickly closes it. “We ask you to guide our beloved brother and sister in the days and weeks ahead. Heal their hearts and bodies and minds, dear Lord, and grace them with the absolute power of your love. In your name, we pray. Amen.”

Connie and Tim make the sign of the cross and mutter “amen,” something that Kyung has never witnessed before. The McFaddens aren’t a religious family. Their faith—ceremonial as it was—seemed to die with Gillian’s mother, who dressed everyone up for Mass and confession because that’s what families in their neighborhood did. Gillian talks about this part of her childhood like she talks about her mother, with more fondness than either probably deserves. Occasionally, she mentions the idea of going back to church like it’s a long-lost hobby, something she’d pick up again if she had more time.

“Come join us,” Reverend Sung says.

Mae turns and angles her face toward the window as Kyung approaches the bed. Now that she’s clean and dressed, she doesn’t seem as injured as his father, who has his arm in a sling and an alarming array of bruises. Still, Kyung understands the difference between them. What happened to Mae was worse. He places his hand over hers, rubbing the soft, papery skin with his thumb. Everything he wants to say escapes him, so he just stands there, dumb for words, while the others try not to watch.

“Well, I should get back to the station now,” Lentz says. “Thank you for your statement, Mrs. Cho. I’ll be in touch.”

Kyung wanted to be with Mae when she spoke to them. He assumed the police would take her statement when visiting hours started, not before.

“None of you thought to call me for this?”

Again, he isn’t sure who should answer the question, who among this odd group of men he holds most accountable. He settles on Connie. “Why are you even here? This isn’t your case.”

Connie shrugs. “I was just trying to be helpful, seeing you’re family and all.”

Kyung is tempted to ask since when. Since when have Connie and Tim ever treated him like family? “Please leave now. Both of you. I didn’t ask you to come.”

“You don’t have to talk to them like that,” Jin says. “At least they were here. They showed up early—not like you.”

The earth feels like it’s spun off its axis. His father often refers to Gillian’s family as bigots—poor working-class white people, jealous of anyone with a little money to their name. Now he’s defending them as if they’re old friends.

“I did come early. I just don’t understand why none of you told me to come earlier.” He glances at Mae, who has yet to look at him.

“Your mom was ready to talk,” Tim says, “so we let her. There wasn’t time to send you an invitation and then wait around until you got here.”

“Don’t be such a dick, Tim.” Connie’s face reddens. “Sorry, Reverend. And sorry for intruding. You folks need anything from us, just give me a call. Kyung knows how to reach me.”

They leave the room, Tim trailing behind his father and Lentz, his shoulders still sagging with reproach. The earth is now in free fall. Connie has never taken his side over Tim’s before, never bothered to apologize for anything, no matter how big or small the offense. Kyung is so stunned, he almost doesn’t notice the reverend patting him on the shoulder.

“It was nice of your father-in-law to offer to help. An event like this brings out the best in most people.”

The phrase “most people” stings Kyung’s cheeks. It feels like a reprimand, even if it wasn’t.

“I need a few minutes with my mother now.” He glances at Jin. “I’d like to talk to her in private.”

Mae grabs the sleeve of the reverend’s jacket. She shakes her head no.

“What’s wrong? Why don’t you want to talk to me?” Kyung’s voice rises, injured like a child’s. “Why won’t you even look at me?”

Reverend Sung pries loose her fingers, knitting them neatly between his. “As you can imagine—actually, as none of us could ever really imagine—this was a very traumatic experience for your mother, for both of your parents. You have to understand how upsetting it might be, talking about the details of what happened with you. These aren’t the kinds of things you’d ever want to say in front of your own child.”