See Me After Class(85)

“What’s new?” I ask, bringing the beer to my lips.

“Greer was in a crap mood. Kelvin and Keeks were there, too. They sat at another booth, though, and compared notes on a recent article they read about wind propulsion. Or something like that. I can’t quite tell you what it was, but at one point, I looked over and they were holding hands across the table. It was adorable. Keeks then went to the bathroom with me and told me her arousal was spiking so she was going to go make out with Kelvin behind the bar. Things I didn’t need to know.”

A light chuckle comes out of me.

“Hey.” She pokes my side. “You do know how to laugh.”

“What are you trying to say?” I ask her.

“Just confirming what the guys think. That you’re a grump.”

I watch the small waves of the lake lap at the rocks that jut up against the body of water. “Can I ask you a question, Coraline?”

“Always.”

“Do you think we’re incapable of affection?”

She doesn’t answer right away, but rests her head on my shoulder. “No. But I do think it comes to us less naturally. It’s one of the reasons He Who Shall Not Be Named wanted a divorce. Called me cold and frigid.”

“He was a dick.”

“He was right. I was never into PDA despite his many attempts to get me to loosen up. It was hard for me to stop what I was doing and remember that maybe he needed a hug. As time went on, I forgot to kiss him at night, he didn’t kiss me goodbye, and we drifted apart. He cheated on me, and now we’re in the middle of a messy divorce. Yes, his cheating was the reason for leaving him, but I didn’t help the situation. I didn’t participate in my marriage like I should have.”

“You never said that before,” I say, surprised. “You just told me he cheated on you.”

“Because I wasn’t ready to face reality.” She sips from her drink and says, “You know how you always ask where I am?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I’ve been going to marriage counseling.”

“With—”

She shakes her head against my shoulder. “No. Not with him. I’ve been going on my own. I’ve been trying to figure out where I went wrong and, when the time comes, how I can be a better partner. It’s how I came to terms with my lack of affection, and it’s something I’ve been working on.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was embarrassed. I think the lack of love in our household growing up really fucked with me, and from the sounds of it, it fucked with you, too.”

“Yeah, you could say that,” I say with a heavy breath.

“Is there someone you’re not telling me about?”

Without going into detail, I say, “There was, but she wanted more, and I couldn’t give her that. I didn’t really know how to without feeling completely lost.”

“Is that why you’ve been cranky lately?”

“Something like that,” I answer.

At first, I was so angry at Greer, how she’d made me feel. But what she said the other afternoon was spot-on. She knows what she wants in a partner. She knows what she misses. And in that moment of anger, as she turned for the door and left, my first thought was I want to try. My second thought was That’s stupid, asshole. It’s beyond you. And the anger kicked back up a notch.

And here’s my sister, telling me that she thinks counselling will help her be warmer. Is it right to lay all the blame for my prickly persona on the family environment I was raised in?

Is there any other answer? But I can’t do this with Cora right now. I need to think. “I’m also irritated that Romeo keeps bringing in Frankie Donuts. I’ve had to kick up my cardio more than I care for.”

She chuckles. “I think a few donuts aren’t going to kill your figure.” I pinch her side and she giggles, swatting me away. “Seriously, though, do you want to go to marriage counseling with me?”

“Marriage counseling with my sister—pretty sure that would be an ultimate low.”

“We’d be really clear that we’re not interested in marrying each other.”

I laugh. “I don’t think I’m at that point. I just need to take the plunge.”

“Do you need me to push you?”

“Maybe,” I say.

“Honestly, Arlo, what do you have to lose? If it doesn’t work out, at least you tried. It’s better than sitting around, being angry all the time.”

“What if I’m not good enough?”

“You can’t think of it that way. You have to give yourself the chance at least. You can’t set yourself up for failure before you even give it a shot. That’s not fair to you or to her.” She elbows me and says, “Plus, who wouldn’t want to be with my brother?”

“You’d be surprised.”

“Well, your arrogance can be quite off-putting at times.”

“Thanks.” I chuckle.

“Just trying to keep you grounded.” She twists her head and kisses my shoulder. “See? Affection. It’s easy.”

“I’m your brother.”

“Doesn’t matter. It’s still progress. Now, stop making excuses and go after the girl. Then report back to me. I’m going to find out who she is soon because I’m nosey like that. The only reason I’m not asking right now is because you opened up. But next time, I’m going to need a name and a picture.”